Dad Gets On One Knee To Propose To His 20-Year-Old Daughter With A Purity Ring
He claimed he was "proud" his daughter was pure and would remain so until she was married.
Pheelings media | Shutterstock A dad caused a bit of a stir online after pushing the purity narrative onto his 20-year-old daughter in a rather unconventional and bizarre way.
Patrick and his daughter, Sarah, are self-proclaimed Christian content creators who make videos about their religion, beliefs, and father-daughter relationship under the username @justadadandhisladybug. However, viewers were stunned at Patrick's decision to show his daughter how "proud" he was that she'd remained "pure" throughout her life.
He got down on one knee and proposed to his daughter with a purity ring.
"We got something special for you," Patrick declared to his followers. He explained that he was about to surprise Sarah with a purity ring but wanted to do it in a special way. Apparently, that meant getting on one knee as if it were a marriage proposal.
In the video on his now-private account, he hurriedly added that it wasn't going to be an actual marriage proposal but just a way to show his daughter that he was proud of her for keeping her "purity" intact.
Purity culture is fairly common in Christianity and seems to only exist as a way for women to feel stifled in their sexuality. The idea that a woman is less than if she has an intimate relationship with a man before getting married is rooted in misogyny.
Of course, practicing abstinence as a personal choice is an entirely different circumstance, but those who push this outdated narrative that women need to remain "pure" for their husbands are the real issue.
Walking into his daughter's room, Patrick instructed her to stand up because he wanted to give her something. Getting out of bed, she stood before her dad as he got down on one knee and presented her with the purity ring.
Natalia Lebedinskaia | Shutterstock
"First of all, you're 20 years old, and most kids your age are not pure," Patrick said to his daughter. Well, I want to thank you for being here and give you something. Sarah, will you wear this ring as a sign and a promise to God and to me to remain pure until the day you're married?"
Putting the ring on her left hand — in the same place that an engagement ring would go — Sarah accepted the promise. Patrick explained that she was to keep the purity ring on that finger until the day her husband replaced it with another ring. Sarah appeared excited to accept the ring from her father and gushed about how pretty the ring looked.
Purity culture severely harms women's mental health and how they view their self-worth.
Teaching purity or abstinence to young girls does nothing but teach women to be ashamed of their bodies. As parents, it may seem daunting to approach the topic of sex with your kids, but emphasizing the importance of safe sexual health and proper education can go such a long way instead of simply telling young girls that having sex before marriage is appalling or a sin.
In an interview with Verywell Mind, Hannah Mayderry (LMHC), a licensed mental health counselor who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family and community and now helps people unpack and heal from their religious trauma, explained that purity culture affects most areas of daily life for people who subscribe to it.
"Women are often taught their sexuality is something that should be bottled up and shoved down," she said. "That encompasses everything from the way that they dress, the way that they interact with men, the way that they speak, the way that they view their own bodies and their own sex drive."
Mayderry pointed out that rooted in purity culture seems to be this belief that if we speak about certain things, they'll come true and will be spoken into existence.
"I think that we need to shift away from that and realize that our kids are going to do what they're going to do because of how we parent them, because of their exposures in society, not because we had a talk with them," she continued.
A 2017 review in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that abstinence education policies and teen girls who pledged to abstain from sex until marriage, or "purity pledges," are associated with higher rates of teen births, nonmarital pregnancies, and contracting sexually transmitted diseases compared to those who didn't.
It's no secret that purity culture doesn't serve anyone involved, and presenting your adult daughter with a purity ring in the form of a marriage proposal is a bit of a questionable act. Just because a woman isn't "pure" before marriage doesn't mean that she's unworthy of respect, and that narrative shouldn't be pushed onto young girls either.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.