Dad Asks If It’s ‘Weird’ That His Teen Son Suddenly Needs His Physical Affection — ‘Is Our Level Of Touching Appropriate?’
He admitted that his son needing physical affection from him came out of nowhere.
pics five | Shutterstock As kids get older and into their teenage years, all of those hormonal changes can make them quite cranky and irritable. Most of the time, they want nothing to do with their parents and instead are trying to use this time to figure out who they are. However, a dad admitted that his teen son seems to be the complete opposite of the stereotype.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AskMenAdvice," a 46-year-old dad claimed that his 16-year-old son has become quite affectionate and questioned whether he should be worried about how he's been reciprocating the physical affection that his son is seeking from him.
A dad questioned if it's 'weird' that his teen son suddenly needs his physical affection.
"My son and I have a good relationship, I’d say. I’m certainly not 'cool,' but we get along fine," he began in his Reddit post. "About a week ago, I was on the couch watching TV, and he came in and sat down on the couch beside me and laid his head on my shoulder and put his arms around me and basically cuddled me."
He explained that he and his wife simply exchanged a glance at their son's out-of-character behavior but ultimately shrugged it off.
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The dad didn't want to bring up his son's display of affection, but he acknowledged that it was unexpected.
He admitted that he wasn't going to complain about his son wanting to be close to him and needing his physical affection. He ended up hugging the 16-year-old back and even started playing with his hair, rubbing his back, and leaning into the cuddling.
They didn't acknowledge this moment, and after a while, his son eventually got up and announced that he was going to bed. However, a couple of days later, his son ended up doing the exact same thing. "He did it again and cuddled me for a bit and then laid his head in my lap. Again, I played with his hair some. I had my other arm tucked by my side for a while, but that got uncomfortable, so eventually I just rested it on my son’s stomach/chest," he recalled.
He went on to say that he tried to talk to his son a bit and find out if he was feeling alright but it didn't go anywhere. He wrote, "I asked how school’s going, I just got a fairly snappy 'everything’s fine dad.' We didn’t say anything else."
While it's a natural part of growing up for kids in their adolescent years to pull away from their parents, especially when it comes to physical affection, it doesn't mean they don't need it. In fact, experts argue that many teens, especially teen boys, are touch-deprived as a result. The notion that hugging is inappropriate, especially between a male parent and child, is a toxic social construct. There are many cultures where men are more than comfortable with physical affection.
His wife admitted that she thought he was being 'too touchy' with their son.
During their second interaction, cuddling on the couch, he asked his son how school was going, but despite his son wanting physical affection, he wasn't too enthused about sharing details of his personal life. He recalled his son giving him a snappy respons,e and the two of them continued to sit on the couch together after that. It's clear that while his son enjoys the occasional cuddle with his dad, he has no plans on having an actual conversation.
"My wife feels like something must be wrong, and I should talk to him about what’s going on. I don’t deny wondering if there’s something causing this new behavior, but I’m just enjoying it while it lasts, and I don’t want to 'jinx' it," he continued. "Also, my wife thinks I’m a little too touchy. She said nothing wrong with some hugging and light cuddling, but playing with his hair and rubbing his back and chest is getting a little weird."
Frankly, we should be normalizing affectionate moments between fathers and their sons. Too often, men and young boys are taught to be stoic and unemotional. Most of the time, this behavior is so conditioned that when men become fathers, they inadvertently pass this expectation onto their sons as well. More dads should feel comfortable cuddling with their sons on the couch on a random Sunday night or just going over to them and giving them a hug.
There doesn't need to be a specific reason that it's happening, either. If anything, dads should be teaching their sons that there's nothing wrong with being soft and vulnerable and that it's the real marker of true masculinity.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
