Expert Reveals Whether Teenagers Today Are In Fact More 'Delicate' Than They Were In The Past
Their pain is very real, but it's how we raise them that sets the standard.
Miljan Zivkovic via Shutterstock Most parents would agree that teens nowadays are different from how they were back then. Some would go as far as to say they're weaker, more sensitive or even more "delicate" than teens of the past. But is that actually true, or is something else at play here?
In the podcast Getting Open, host Andrea Miller dove into the topic celebrity coach and motivational speaker Jesse LeBeau. Together, they answer the question that is on everyone's mind.
Are teens today more delicate than they were in the past? Yes and no.
Miller asks LeBeau a rather tough question in the beginning. She begins, "Do you feel like they [teens and tweens] lack the work ethic that you had, and that I had?" She continues her thought by saying, "I don't want to generalize, but life has become much easier."
LeBeau agrees saying that the hardest thing teens face nowadays is getting kicked out of a group chat. And on the surface, you might look at that and be like, "How are you so soft?"
He continues, "How are you so delicate? You're just this little flower and you can't handle any type of obstacles or adversity. But how can they if they've never experienced it?"
But, LeBeau says, no matter how silly their pain may seem to their parents, it's real to them. And the mental health fallout from social media is real and well-documented. It's that distinction which is key. Pain is pain, and minimizing what they feel (or why) doesn't help anyone. In fact, it may put our kids at even higher risk of mental health struggles, including taking their own lives. Supporting teens through their social issues, even ones on social media, is key to helping them thrive.
However, LeBeau asks listeners to consider the why behind the question. The unfortunate truth is that parents often overprotect their kids. They don't want them to suffer (understandably so), but they stunt their kid's growth when they protect them from the inevitable. They need to learn stress-management tools from us, the adults in their lives, and that cannot happen if they are over-protected.
And as parents, it can be hard to get out of this mindset. With everything going on in the world, it's all too easy to allow your fear to get the better of you. But, when kids don't fail they don't learn how to pick themselves up. Which is a dangerous thing.
"What can parents do is you have to let your kid fail," poses LeBeau.
'You have to not let your kids fail — within reason', explains LeBeau.
"Of course, you know they have to feel the pain of not making the team or getting the grade, or striking out. They can't get [an] award for breathing or participation trophy. They need to experience being human, which has its high ups and depressing downs."
He continues, "[But] They realize that's part of life and the world doesn't end. If you ask the girl for her phone number and she says no and the kids laugh at you, that is the key to success," LeBeau says.
It's striking out and picking yourself up again. It's "failing over and over again" until eventually, something amazing comes of it.
And when that amazing thing does happen, your kids will feel confident in themselves and their ability to manage life. Understandably, no parent wants to see their kids suffer.
He continues, "You don't want to see your kids sad. You don't want to see them lonely. You don't want them just to be the kid that didn't get invited to the birthday party. Right?"
"But at the end of the day, they need to learn these skills and then they need to bounce back from them because that's what life is," ends LeaBeau.
Life is a cycle of getting back up and trying again. Of failing and succeeding and then repeating it all over again.
And they shouldn't be taught to fear that. Instead, we should teach them to embrace their failures — and all the lessons it has to offer.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.