Childless Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Refusing To Work On Thanksgiving So Her Co-Worker Can Spend The Holiday With Her Kids
Just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean they should have to work holidays.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock Working on holidays is never easy for anyone. However, there seems to be some sort of unspoken agreement that it’s more difficult for people with children.
Those without children are often expected to pick up the slack and, at the very least, pitch in so their co-workers with kids can spend the day with them. But is that fair?
One woman assumed her childless co-worker would be happy to cover Thanksgiving for her but got a rude awakening when she actually talked to her about it.
A woman posted on Reddit about the dilemma she had after her co-worker asked her to work the Thanksgiving shift so she wouldn’t have to.
“I recently got engaged and have been at my current job for a little over two years now,” she explained.
“I love my job, and feel honored to do it, but one downside is that we’re needed 365 days a year and so it’s common to work on holidays.”
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The childless woman explained that there is an understanding that newer employees and those without kids generally take holiday shifts.
“The general rule is that individuals who are new are first in line to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas,” she said. “There’s also an informal expectation that individuals without kids will cover those shifts so parents can celebrate with their families. People at work especially seem to care about moms being home with their children.”
“This year, I’m scheduled to work on Christmas but get Thanksgiving off. This is my first holiday off since I’ve been on the job, so I’m very excited,” she continued.
“One of my co-workers, June, was in the same hiring class as me,” she said. “On Friday, she approached me and asked if I would be willing to cover her shift on Thanksgiving so she could celebrate with her kids.”
This didn’t sit well with the woman. “I was a bit upset, since I’ve been looking forward to celebrating with my family, fiancé and future in-laws this year,” she stated. “As I mentioned, I just got engaged, and this is the first time our families are doing a blended holiday.”
June, however, had difficulty taking no for an answer.
“I explained the situation to June, and she said that her daughters deserve to have their mom with them on Thanksgiving,” she said. “June was annoyed, and said I was breaking the informal code of the office.”
The childless woman was surprised her colleagues took her co-worker's side.
“I spoke to my mentor about this (she’s in her fifties and has kids) and she thinks I should have agreed to cover for June so her kids could be with their mother on Thanksgiving,” she stated.
“I said that the expectation isn’t fair, since June was the one who decided to have kids and also chose an intense line of work where she sometimes has to work holidays.”
This woman spoke on behalf of all childless people when she said, “Additionally, it’s unfair that individuals who chose not to have children are penalized for the decisions of others and are expected to always work holidays.”
Expecting those without children to work on the holidays is a form of 'singlism.'
Bella DePaulo, author of books like "Singled Out" and "Single At Heart," coined the term “singlism” to describe the discrimination those without families of their own receive.
“In some workplaces, single people are expected to stay later or cover weekends, holidays, vacation times or travel assignments that no one else wants, on the singlist assumption that they don’t have anyone, and they don’t have a life,” DePaulo wrote for Psychology Today.
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Singlism is extremely frustrating because all that it represents is false.
Just because someone is single or doesn’t have children of their own doesn’t mean they don’t have people they care about with whom they would like to spend holidays. In this woman’s case, she has family other than children with whom she has plans.
Childless individuals and single individuals should not be treated unfairly just because they don’t have children of their own.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.