Childfree Woman Says Most Parents Don't Want To Spend Much Time With Their Kids — 'Saturday & Sunday Is Enough For Them'
"Imagine being so tired of your home life or family that you WANT to go to work every day."
spwidoff | Shutterstock Every mom can agree that being a parent is a full-time job, especially when you have multiple kids and even more so when they're young. It takes a toll on you — physically, mentally, and emotionally.
It's only natural that parents desire quality time for themselves. Being the primary caretaker of your family can deplete your energy, and there’s nothing wrong with a mom wanting to nourish her relationship with herself to be more present for her children.
However, at what point does craving time away from the kids signify a sadder truth?
One child-free woman insisted that most parents don’t want to spend much time with their kids.
“I’m happily childfree on purpose,” the woman began her Reddit post. She explained that she spent her college years and time between jobs as a nanny, working for wealthy parents, many of which were stay-at-home wives.
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“But they still paid for my care at least 30 hours a week, every single week, while they went out, slept, who knows,” the woman added.
The woman recently came across a post in the r/workingmoms subReddit, asking women, “What is your IDEAL work situation — full-time, part-time, or SAHM, and why?”
She claimed that a majority of the moms in the thread confessed to desiring a work schedule of 30+ hours a week outside of the home.
“Not because they love their job or their job drives them,” the woman wrote. “They don’t want to stay home with their kids. Which is sad when they’re babies and toddlers. They want their kids in school or daycare most of the day.”
Many moms who commented on the post did indeed admit to wanting their kids in childcare throughout the week even if they pursued a stay-at-home lifestyle. They claimed they desired this so they could focus on their own hobbies, household tasks, and other chores without constant disruptions.
“It’s clear most parents are happy doing dinner with the kids and then putting them to bed 1-2 hours after,” the woman wrote. “Most are saying Saturday and Sunday with their kids are enough for them.”
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Most moms in the post emphasized their desire for a stable balance between work, family, and personal care.
Whether a mom preferred commuting to work, working from home, or not working at all, many of them agreed that putting their kids in childcare for around four hours a day, three to four days a week was ideal. This schedule would allow them to be productive in the mornings, enjoy time with their kids in the afternoons, and prioritize family time in the evenings.
“I figured most [moms] would say something like, ‘If I could afford it, I’d work only two days a week, take one day for myself for errands/personal day, then four days home with the family.’ Nope,” the childless woman claimed.
However, many of the moms did crave a routine similar to this. While most of them revealed that they would rather take their kids to childcare during the day rather than spend time with them at home, this didn’t necessarily signify that they don’t value time with their kids.
Many also agreed that having evenings and three-day weekends to spend with their families was ideal. They simply need a break now and then, and this is valid. It can be both challenging and exhausting to manage household responsibilities as a mom when your kids require so much attention.
Additionally, according to Children's Healthcare Associates, young kids can actually benefit from daycare, as it provides them with opportunities for social and cognitive development and allows them to cultivate more independence away from their parents.
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Of course, the child-free nanny is likely speaking from experience, having witnessed kids she nurtured be neglected or dismissed by their parents. In these cases, it is certainly unfortunate that young kids don’t receive the necessary attention and affection they need from their parents.
The child-free woman raised concerns about parents who don’t seem to take their roles seriously.
Many parents certainly try their hardest to give their kids the best upbringing possible while also considering their own needs. No parent is perfect, and it’s natural to crave time to yourself to clear your mind and focus on your own hobbies outside of parenthood.
Choosing to enroll your kid in childcare doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of care or love. However, the woman’s argument is a valid concern for many parents who don’t seem to value their kids the way they should, despite choosing to have them.
“These same moms are on Facebook, Instagram, etc posting about how much they are blessed to have their kids and their families,” the woman wrote. “But if money wasn’t an object, you’d still spend no more than two days a week with your kids while strangers (essentially) raise your babies and children.”
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“Imagine being so tired of your home life or family that you WANT to go to work every day,” she added. "Couldn’t be me!"
Unfortunately, this is a reality for many. Parenting is not for everyone, yet so many parents regret having kids. They would rather pretend they never did and pay someone else to take care of them.
It’s natural to desire some extra help with your children and time to yourself, as the job can be incredibly draining. But to not crave any quality time with them at all is a reason for concern, as those children will eventually grow up feeling neglected and confused about their place in life.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.