The Candle Theory Reveals Exactly How Someone Feels About Themselves
A candle could reveal more about your life than you think.
IAKIMCHUK IAROSLAV | Shutterstock Sometimes, we’re unaware of how we’re affecting ourselves, blind to parts of our personality, or in denial about certain behaviors. We often need a wake-up call to see what’s hidden beneath the surface. A simple candle may seem like a small, insignificant object, but it can reveal deeper truths about how we approach life, self-worth, and the choices we make every day.
This is the point that TikTok content creator Jamie Scott made in a recent video. In her bio, she includes the quote, "You are only confined by the walls you build yourself." This quote ties into her message about the candle theory, showing how we often limit ourselves by the barriers we create.
The candle theory reveals a person's self-worth.
Scott started her video by asking, “Are you someone who buys a candle but doesn’t burn it, waiting for the perfect moment?” She then highlighted that if you're not lighting the candle now, what other parts of your life are you holding back on? She explained that we often feel unworthy of certain things, but we deserve to embrace them — whether it's love, success, or happiness — right now.
She held nothing back, asking, "What else do you not feel worthy of having right in this moment? Because if you don't feel worthy enough to light a candle, there's never going to be a perfect opportunity."
The candle theory is meant to inspire people to embrace life in the moment.
Scott bluntly stated, "You might die tomorrow. Won't you wish that you just lit the candle? And so you have to think, where does this flow into other parts of my life?" It's a hard pill to swallow when you look at the theory from this perspective, but it's very true.
How many times have you thought about this arbitrary point in the future where the planets align perfectly and create the moment when you can make all your dreams come true? We've all done it, but if you do it more than you actually engage in life and spend your time simply waiting, then you are letting your insecurities hinder your success and growth.
"You deserve all those things right now," Scott asserted. "You deserve to light the candle and enjoy the warmth, the brightness, the smell, all the things right now."
Entrepreneur, speaker, and coach Peter Sage wrote, "We don’t consider that life is always happening, even when we think it’s not. The moments we’re not fully present leave priceless memories and lessons on the table." He went on to say, much like Scott, "Since we’re living anyway, doesn’t it make sense to bring our best contribution to the present moment, regardless of how it presents itself?"
Feeling paralyzed by life is often learned behavior from childhood.
In an article for Psychology Today, psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., explained that sometimes people learn protective behaviors when they’re young to cope with tough situations. However, these behaviors may no longer be helpful as we get older. He pointed out, “Protective behaviors that people learned in the past to cope with overwhelming situations may no longer be helpful in present-day circumstances.”
Our brains can sometimes hold onto those old ways of coping, even when they’re no longer needed. For example, if someone hurt you in the past, you might feel afraid to trust others, even though there’s no reason to fear now. To move forward, we need to remind ourselves that we’re strong and safe enough to try new things.
This means we need to talk to ourselves like we would talk to a friend: reassuring ourselves that it’s okay to let go of old fears and embrace new experiences. By doing so, we can begin to make choices that bring us happiness and help us feel good about who we are. We just need to believe that we can grow and that the past no longer has control over us.
So, the next time you hesitate, light that candle. It could be the beginning of something beautiful in your life that’s been waiting to unfold. You might be pleasantly surprised by what comes next.
Mina Rose Morales is a writer and photojournalist with a degree in journalism. She covers a wide range of topics, including psychology, self-help, relationships, and the human experience.