9 Brilliant Phrases People Use To Directly Clap Back At A Toxic Co-Worker Or Boss
Sometimes you just need to air it all out.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock At work, you can’t expect everyone to get along, especially when stress is high. When employees and managers don't see eye to eye, frustrations and built-up resentments can develop over time. It's usually a good policy to adhere to the "better left unsaid" mantra, but if the conflict centers around a toxic co-worker or boss, that's not always possible.
When these workplace conflicts occur and there's no other recourse than to put a toxic colleague in their place, there’s a respectful and professional way to do it. These 9 brilliant phrases will ensure that your problematic co-worker understands you are not letting them get away with their bad behavior while also ensuring that your status as employed remains intact.
Here are 9 brilliant phrases employees can use to clap back at a toxic co-worker or boss:
1. Your last-minute planning is not my emergency.
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We all have those days when we desperately need someone to cover for us in case of an emergency, but sometimes an employee's lack of planning is put on the shoulders of the rest of the crew. In most cases, co-workers are accommodating to each other, especially when they know a colleague is struggling and it's impacting their productivity. However, it's never okay for a slacker to glom onto others in the hopes of skating by without actually doing anything.
If you find yourself in this situation, it's imperative to speak up because if you don't, this co-worker will only become more brazen with their favors. You don't have to stand up for everyone in the office. If they choose to pick up the slack, that's on them. But you do need to protect your boundaries.
2. Let's not get emotional here.
High levels of stress in the workplace are just part of the job description. Often, things go awry, and both workers and managers must scramble to find solutions to a problem. Therefore, it is best for them to be in a logical state of mind in these moments rather than an emotional one.
In an article for Psychology Today, Mira Brancu, Ph.D., explained that emotion regulation is not just about "keeping your cool" or eliminating or suppressing your emotions. It's about being pragmatic when others are taking things personally.
3. I'm not the permanent solution to a lack of resource management planning.
Some people have attributes that others in the workplace just can’t or won’t do, whether it's part of their job description or not. Sometimes, managers will become aware of these attributes and take advantage of an already overworked colleague instead of hiring someone to take on the extra work. A lack of resources or proper management should not fall on the shoulders of good employees.
Good workers are hard to come by, and if you are one, you shouldn't let management take advantage of your work ethic. According to a Gallup Poll, only 30% of the U.S. workforce is engaged in their work, while 70% are not reaching their full potential. When workers or managers can’t make quotas or the numbers, the company takes it as a sign that things lower on the totem pole are wrong, when really it comes from the top down.
4. I understand your concern. Now let's shift toward finding a constructive solution.
Working together to find solutions to problems is always the most effective way to keep the peace in the workplace. As a manager, it shows that you understand employee concerns and are willing to help out, while for employees, it shows that you are willing to chip in as part of the team.
Venting is understandable occasionally, but complaining instead of taking action does nothing but make things worse. Toxic employees bring morale down consistently, so it's important to respond with a solution-based clap back to get things back on track
5. All feelings are valid, but not all behaviors are appropriate.
Some things are out of our control, like co-workers who simply don’t like you. "Employees can feel undervalued and unseen when inappropriate workplace issues are ignored or embraced," said Jennifer Lea Austin from Psychology Today. The reason why these workplaces flourish is due to the lack of accountability.
For instance, if you have an employee who is quiet, clocks in on time, never misses days of work, and gets the job done, but an employee who does the opposite is rewarded instead, then it can cause resentment in the workplace. That feeling of resentment is absolutely valid, but that doesn't justify making the rewarded employee the object of disdain.
6. I'm not confused; you're being indirect.
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If there's any rule that should be followed to the letter in the workplace, it's that instructions and expectations should be clearly spelled out. If a task has not been completely thought through, or an individual's productivity is not quantifiable, that's a management problem, not an employee problem. If your toxic manager tries to pin the blame on you after unclear expectations, you cannot stay silent.
7. I'm here voluntarily, but I am not a volunteer.
Sometimes, the higher-ups in the company take the employees and managers beneath them for granted. They are expected to prioritize work over everything else, and they should never complain about compensation. If your job tries to guilt you or scare you into working more than you should without additional pay, you must stick up for yourself.
Employees are paid for their time and skills. That's a complete sentence. Yes, the occasional overtime is expected for salaried employees, but it shouldn't be part of a regular schedule. If it is, it's time for a raise or, at the very least, a promotion.
8. Just because you want a conflict doesn't mean I need to engage in it.
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When you and your co-worker get into a disagreement, saying this phrase is the professional version of "I can’t talk to you about this anymore." Remember you are in control of your own emotions and behavior. Just because someone is trying to provoke you doesn't mean you have to engage with them. Furthering the conflict will not be productive.
According to Evolve The Com, workplace conflicts cost U.S. businesses $359 billion annually, with 72% of organizations not having a formal policy in place to solve these issues. This is shocking, as most workplaces have human resource departments, which are supposed to be trained in solving these problems for the company's sake.
9. I see your point, I just don't agree with it.
Nobody is going to agree with each other all the time; after all, a diverse set of opinions is valuable for looking at different perspectives. If an apology is needed to end a continuous argument in order for you to get peace, then so be it. Putting your own mental sanity above you having to be right is often the best objective.
It’s when these discussions get testy that things can spiral out of control. “Arguments damage relationships because they attempt to force others to support your goals without considering their interests,” explained John A. Johnson, Ph.D. You are not going to change your co-workers' minds, nor should you. It’s all about existing in a common space and working toward a common goal.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
