Certified Career Coach Explains 3 Ways To Outsmart A Toxic Boss Without Saying A Single Word
You don't have to let a toxic boss rule your life. Instead, there are actionable steps you can take to lessen their power.
New Africa | Shutterstock No one wants to have a toxic boss. They make coming to work a true headache and cause you to question all of your professional choices up to that point. But, for some, they are an inescapable reality.
Although it may seem impossible, you can outsmart a toxic boss and come out on top without doing major damage to your career. Certified career coach and former corporate VP Terry Jones shared three things he thinks you can do to ensure you’re getting the last word without actually saying anything.
Here are three ways to outsmart a toxic boss without saying a single word:
1. Don’t give them the reaction they crave
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Just like any bully, toxic bosses want to rile you up so they get a strong reaction out of you. The solution to this, Jones said, is to “become emotionally invisible. Toxic managers, they feed off of your reaction. Sometimes the less you react, the less power they have.”
Professor Beverly D. Flaxington said, “Next time you encounter someone’s bad behavior, consider taking back your power. Realize that you can own your reactions and actions, and can actually shift the dynamic and lessen the sting inflicted by the negative person.”
Instead of letting your toxic boss control you by reacting the exact way that they want you to, you can take control of the situation by reacting with calmness and clarity. You may not be able to control the way that your boss acts and magically make them a healthier person to be around, but you can keep your reaction in check.
2. Keep track of everything
Holding on to all communication seems more like something that you do when you’re ready to pursue a criminal case against someone. However, it can actually help you in the process of building a case against your boss in the workplace. “Document everything, and not just for your defense, but to build leverage,” Jones advised. “If you ever need to make a move in the future, your receipts become your strongest weapon.”
Writing for The Muse, Claudia Guthrie suggested, “Document specific instances of your boss’ abusive behavior, and be strategic in whom you raise your concerns to, especially if there’s risk of your toxic boss retaliating if they find out you're discussing them.”
Saying that something happened is one thing, but having the proof to back it up is another. Since your boss has more power than you do in the company where you work, it’s important to be able to validate everything you say. It means people will be much more likely to believe you. It also gives you a chance to fight back against the toxic environment your boss has created.
3. Use their weaknesses to your advantage
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The things that your toxic boss does wrong don’t have to just be bad and annoying. They can actually benefit you if you leverage them properly. “Toxic managers are often disorganized or careless,” Jones shared. “Use that to your benefit. Get clear instructions in writing, clarify deadlines and let their chaos be the very thing that highlights your competence.”
Kendra Cherry, MSEd, explained that toxic bosses share some common weaknesses like micromanaging, being disrespectful, not accepting feedback and not taking initiative. You can use these things to your advantage and use them to highlight how you are the exact opposite.
Using Jones’ example, if your boss is a disorganized mess, you can show higher-ups just how neat and organized you are to contrast with your boss. It will show others how great your strengths are and how bad your boss’ weaknesses really are. By doing the exact opposite of what your boss does, you are proving that you are a competent employee who simply isn’t involved in their giant mess.
You can fight back against your toxic boss without speaking up.
The prospect of saying something about your boss — to a superior, someone from HR or their face — can be terrifying and have major repercussions. But, you also can’t take that kind of toxic behavior lying down. It’s best to find a happy medium and counter how bad your boss is without drawing undue attention to it.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.