Deeply Selfish People Who Will Never Commit Often Display These 11 Involuntary Behaviors
Stop waiting for someone who won't even commit to you.
Hannah Popowski | Unsplash Falling in love is an amazing feeling, but you never want to force it. If you're dating someone who makes you question your relationship status constantly, it's time to ask yourself some questions.
If you want to know how to tell if the person you're with is deeply selfish and will never commit, pay attention to these involuntary behaviors. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and only you.
Deeply selfish people who will never commit often display these behaviors:
1. They're always busy
He should want to spend lots of his free time with you. And if he's busy, he should make time for you. Frequently using busyness as an excuse can indicate a reluctance to commit to a relationship entirely. This often stems from fear of intimacy, prioritizing other aspects of life, or simply not seeing the relationship as a high priority.
A study published by The Journal of Happiness Studies recommended looking for consistency between their words and actions; if they consistently cancel plans or prioritize other commitments over spending time with you, it could be a sign of a lack of commitment.
2. They don't introduce you to their friends or family
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If he is serious, he should want to show you off to the people closest to him. This often refers to not introducing a partner to friends and family as pocketing. A 2011 study explained that it's widely considered a red flag that indicates a potential lack of commitment in a relationship, often stemming from fear of commitment, keeping options open, or not seeing the relationship as severe enough to integrate you into their social circle.
3. They won't open up to you
If you have tried to ask him about his past and he's hesitant to tell you, he probably has problems letting people in. When someone consistently avoids sharing personal details or emotions with you, especially when discussing the future or deeper topics, it can strongly indicate that they are likely not ready or willing to commit to a serious relationship.
This often stems from a fear of intimacy or attachment issues, commonly referred to as commitment phobia. Suppose you suspect your partner's reluctance to open up is linked to a deeper issue like commitment phobia. In that case, a 2011 study recommended seeking professional guidance from a therapist can provide valuable insights and strategies to navigate the situation.
4. They never plan anything
He should be putting in just as much effort as you. A relationship is a two-way street.
Research generally indicates that consistently leaving the planning of dates solely on the partner, especially when coupled with other behaviors, can strongly suggest that someone might be hesitant to commit to a serious relationship. Please pay attention to signs indicating commitment issues, such as avoiding labels, not introducing you to their friends and family, or constantly discussing keeping options open.
5. They text but never call
It shows effort when your guy does more than shoot you a quick text. It also shows transparency — he can openly tell you what he's up to with his voice rather than hiding behind written words.
6. They leave you out of future plans
When he talks about events in the future, he rarely includes you in them. He should be thinking about the future of the both of you as a couple too.
7. They still talk to their exes
It's a big red flag if he still speaks to former flames regularly. If he's serious about you, those past relationships aren't worth keeping up with anymore.
8. They avoid PDA at all costs
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Some guys don't like to show a lot of affection in public, and that's okay! But if he won't even put his arm around you or squeeze your hand, he's being too standoffish.
9. They cancel plans last-minute
It's inconsiderate of you and your feelings to ditch plans. He should be considerate of your schedule.
10. You feel uneasy when you're together
You should feel comfortable and happy while with your guy. If questions and worries about your relationship are occupying your mind, that's not a good thing.
11. They don't take the time to get to know you
You deserve respect. You deserve to feel important. The man you're seeing should want to get to know you, and if he doesn't, he's not worth it.
Macy Cate Williams is a freelance writer and former content director of commerce at POPSUGAR.