15 Iffy Behaviors That Reveal Someone's About To Ghost You, According To Psychology
They seemed so happy, then poof, they're gone!
perfectwave | Canva Though I’m a big fan of ghosting abusive, manipulative, and controlling people, I’m also a firm believer that regular people do not deserve the ghosting treatment. Sadly, it seems like many people in the dating scene don’t think about it that way.
Considering how bad the dating scene is getting when it comes to ghosting, it makes sense to have a backup plan and to keep an eye out for Caspers in the making. A good backup plan is a stockpile of money and a hidden bottle of wine.
As far as keeping an eye out goes, watch for the following iffy behaviors that reveal you're being ghosted or someone's about to bail.
Here are the iffy behaviors that reveal someone's about to ghost you:
1. They avoid any and all conflict
This isn’t always a sign you’re being ghosted, but according to an American Psychological Association (APA) study, it’s often the only thing you’ll notice in some cases. We all hear about relationships where “he seemed so happy,” but then vanished without a trace. If you notice he can’t have tough conversations with others, don’t be shocked if he won’t be able to have them with you.
2. They spend a lot more time on social media
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True story, a lot of guys who ghost do so because they found someone else. If you notice signs of cheating starting to pop up, you might find yourself ghosted. In many cases, guys ghost because they can’t face the woman they cheated on and admit what they did wrong.
3. They give you a serious vibe you might be a sidepiece
If you’re his affair partner, the chances of you being ghosted skyrocket. All it takes is his wife or “main dish” finding out about you to make the ghosting happen.
4. They have impulse issues and mood swings
Research from The American Psychological Association (APA) helped explain how impulsive, unpredictable men are more likely to leave their girlfriends in a sudden, unpredictable way. Does this surprise anyone? It shouldn’t.
5. They are increasingly distant
Sometimes, it’s the subtle things. If you notice he doesn’t seem to want to talk to you as much as he used to, it could be a sign that he’s about to ghost, as suggested by the Handbook Of Divorce And Relationship Dissolution. He may even deny his suddenly distant behavior too.
After all, it’s not like ghosters are known for being emotionally intelligent communicators.
6. They work the same hours, but the money has dried up
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you should be wary of this. Many guys who ghost after years will pull together their assets before they leave. So, they’d naturally spend less money on you.
7. They no longer invite you to social or family events
Insights from The Journal Of Psychosocial Research explored how most guys who are going to ghost or slow fade will start by making sure you’re not part of their social circle before they make the huge cut. This way, his friends are less likely to ask him why you’re no longer there.
8. They make increasingly vague plans
Now, admittedly, some guys will ghost even though they’ve just made plans to see a movie. But, from experience, I can tell you they start acting like plans are an afterthought. If it seems like everything’s poorly cobbled together compared to how things used to be, this is a good sign he’s about to ghost.
9. They give you a gut feeling something is off
A lot of people who have been ghosted admit that a feeling in their stomach is usually what makes them realize something bad is about to happen. If you’re getting a strange, underlying vibe, roll with it and prepare for the worst.
10. They stop making an effort
Some relationships are just not good and, at times, people don’t know how to end things the right way. So, they end up ghosting. If you’re getting the feeling he’s been wanting out, chances are that you will end up in a breakup, quite possibly by ghosting.
11. They are 'setting up the stage'
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Most people who are about to dump someone will do something to make it a little more acceptable. He may start talking about how busy he’s getting, take on more work, or even talk about how much everything is “stressing him out” while saying he needs to take “a break from it all.”
This is his way of setting up the stage for his ghosting act. And yes, you should confront him and break it off before he bothers.
12. They have lost interest in intimacy
Is your intimate life suffering? Well, that’s never a good sign, per research in the APA Handbook of Personality and Social Psychology. This often is a precursor to a breakup, especially when he’s about to ghost.
13. They've ghosted you before
I believe most people who ghost are repeat offenders. If he’s ghosted or otherwise done this kind of passive-aggressive garbage to others, there’s no saying he won’t do it to you. It’s never wise to believe you’re the exception to the rule!
14. They feel trapped or have commitment issues
People who ghost often do so because they feel they are trapped, smothered, and need to escape from a situation. Ghosting is easier than facing the music, so they choose that route rather than be the bigger person. If he’s acting smothered and tense, you may want to just cut things off with him.
15. They get way more active on online dating sites or social media
If he’s showing his life without you and talking to other girls, you better believe he’s planning to head out the door.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.