7 Behaviors People Think Are A Flex But Are Actually Just Plain Rude
These behaviors aren't impressing anyone.
Giulio_Fornasar | Shutterstock Let’s face it: We all love to show off a little, especially on social media. But sometimes, the things we think make us look cool or tough are actually just ... kind of rude. From acting “too tough to quit” to refusing help because you’re “independent,” some so-called “flexes” are really just bad manners in disguise. A recent post on Threads had users sharing the behaviors that many try to pass off as flexes but are actually just plain inconsiderate. Spoiler alert: You might want to rethink your strategy.
7 behaviors that people try to pass off as 'flexes' that are just rude:
1. The 'no days off' mentality: Burnout is not a badge of honor
You know those people who act like they’re too busy for breaks? Like, their calendar is just one big grind, and they’ve never even heard of a "rest day?" They wear their inability to take a day off like it’s a trophy.
Newsflash: It’s not impressive. Overworking yourself isn’t a flex; it’s a fast track to burnout. If you’re always on the go and never slowing down, you’re not a superhero — you’re probably just tired and not as productive as you think. Chill out, take a break, and maybe you'll actually get more done.
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Journalist Brigid Schulte explained that this mentality is a direct result of a toxic hustle culture that has become pervasive in the U.S. “In our workplace culture, we reward people who work all hours, are completely work-devoted, and don’t care if they have a life [outside of work," she said. Adding, “When you look at human performance science, there’s such great evidence that working all of those hours really doesn’t get you where you want to go.” In a nutshell: Working yourself to the bone has no real benefit aside from trying to make other people feel like they are beneath you for prioritizing balance.
2. Ghosting people
Ah, ghosting. That beloved modern-day “flex” where you just disappear from someone’s life without so much as a text. It might look like you’re too busy or too cool to deal with people, but it’s just rude.
Whether it's a friend, a date, or even a colleague, cutting people off without any explanation is an immature way to handle things. Healthy relationships need communication — ghosting just makes you look like you can’t handle basic adult conversations.
3. Over independence
Being independent is great; however, when it turns into “I can do everything by myself, thanks,” it’s just... well, exhausting. Refusing help when you need it isn’t a flex; it’s isolating yourself and making people feel like they’re not wanted.
Nobody is a superhero 24/7. If you need help, ask for it. It doesn’t make you weak — it makes you human. Besides, people like to feel useful. It’s not always about you trying to do it all.
4. Being apathetic
Here’s a classic: pretending you don’t care about anything. People think acting all “nonchalant” and indifferent makes them seem mysterious or in control. In reality? It just comes off as being cold and disconnected.
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When you shrug everything off like it’s no big deal, you’re not coming across as cool—you’re coming across as rude or, frankly, a little disinterested. Being laid-back is fine, but if you’re always acting like you couldn’t care less about what’s going on around you, it’s not a flex; it’s apathy.
5. Brutal honesty
There’s a fine line between being honest and being mean. Some believe that being “brutally honest” is a badge of honor. However, there’s no prize for saying something that’s unnecessarily hurtful. Yes, honesty is important, but so is kindness.
There’s a way to be truthful without being cruel, so before you deliver your “brutal” truth, maybe think about whether it’s really worth it. Constructive honesty is cool; being unnecessarily harsh is not.
Writing for Psychology Today, licensed psychologist Jonice Webb, Ph.D., explained, "When someone declares themselves “brutally honest,” they get an easy out. By adding the word "honest" after "brutal," they are informing you that they are about to hurt you, but that you should not experience any hurt because they're just being honest. That is a twist that's not only confusing and unfair, but it's also likely to make you feel that you're wrong for experiencing the hurt. That's gaslighting."
6. Competing in who’s the most exhausted: the 'I got 3 hours of sleep' game
It’s a strange game of playing who’s the most tired: “I got 3 hours of sleep!” “Well, I only got 2!” As if being exhausted is some kind of achievement. Newsflash: It’s not. Pitting your exhaustion against someone else’s isn’t a flex; it’s a competition you don’t want to win.
Everyone needs rest, and acting like you’re tougher than someone else because you’re more sleep-deprived just shows that you’re not prioritizing your health. We get it; you’re a busy person, but let’s all agree that sleep is important, and we don’t need to compete with those who have had less of it.
7. Being uncompromising
We’ve all met that person who refuses to budge on their opinion, no matter what. They call it “sticking to their values” or “having strong principles,” but honestly, it just sounds like stubbornness. In relationships, whether personal or professional, compromise is key. Being uncompromising doesn’t make you noble — it makes you difficult. Sometimes, it’s okay to meet someone halfway, and being flexible shows maturity, not weakness. Not everything is a battle to win.
Not every 'flex' is worth flexing
So, there you have it: The behaviors people often think make them look cool, tough, or independent might actually just be rude and counterproductive. Whether it’s ghosting people, overworking yourself, or acting like you don’t need help, these so-called “flexes” tend to hurt more than they help. True strength lies in knowing when to slow down, communicate, and show a little empathy. So next time, think twice before bragging about that “no days off” hustle or your “brutally honest” opinions. Being kind and considerate is the real flex.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.