11 Behaviors That Indicate A Person Will Be A Loser In Life
We all have control over our lives, but acting in certain ways prevents us from growing.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock As much as people might wish otherwise, the world doesn't owe them any favors. Everyone is in charge of their own life, not the forces beyond their control. Once they accept that hard truth, they'll stop holding themselves back from finding true success.
Refusing to let go of their limiting beliefs is one of many behaviors that indicate a person will be a loser in life. Being a loser isn't something that's written in stone, however. To find prosperity and abundance, a person has to see themselves in a compassionate light and push themselves into the unknown.
Here are 11 behaviors that indicate a person will be a loser in life
1. Criticizing others
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Being a habitual harsh critic indicates that a person will be a loser in life. They're quick to point out other people's imperfections, yet they never look inward to assess their own shortcomings.
They find fault with everything, but they're not self-aware enough to realize that their chronic criticism sends a clear message to the rest of the world about the kind of person they are.
According to psychologist Nick Wignall, being overly critical is "an unconscious defense mechanism aimed at alleviating our insecurities."
He explained, "While being critical might temporarily make you feel good about yourself, it usually makes you feel worse about yourself in the long term. Criticism of others is a waste of time and energy because it's all time and energy that's not getting invested in improving yourself and the world around you."
Having a critical mindset stops people from understanding themselves on a deeper level and keeps them from making genuine connections with others.
2. Feeling sorry for themselves
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A person will be a loser in life if they uphold a victim mentality. They think the world is out to get them, which allows them to cast off any accountability for their own misery. As therapist Nancy Carbone revealed, "If you're a victim, everyone else is to blame because you shirk all responsibility and blame others when things go wrong."
She continued, "You feel like a victim because nothing ever goes your way, despite the fact you won't risk taking steps in the right direction. Living within the victim mentality will continue to bring unwelcome outcomes if you can't change your perspective."
Being mindful, practicing gratitude, and acknowledging their own agency are all ways that people can shed their victim mentality and embrace their life for what it is.
3. Resisting change
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Being inflexible and resistant to change keeps a person stuck in patterns of behavior that don't actually serve them. They're so stuck in their ways, they can't see that adapting to life's inevitable changes will make them a better version of themselves.
Psychologist Dr. Kate Truitt revealed that "resistance to change is a normal part of the human condition." She pointed out that change is scary because it involves diving headfirst into "something unexpected that has an unknown outcome," which goes against our brain's survival instincts.
"You can teach your brain a new way forward, and that requires slow, measurable, loving consideration," Dr. Truitt explained. "Imagine that resistance is a part of your brain working diligently to keep you safe... When we view it from that framework, there is an opportunity to learn how your past is creating some unique roadblocks in this moment."
4. Avoiding challenges
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One of the behaviors that indicate a person will be a loser in life is avoiding hard work just because it's difficult. Living a good life takes effort and commitment. If someone is always seeking shortcuts or trying to find the easy way out, they'll never win in any meaningful way.
According to UW School of Medicine and Public Health, about 70% of people "experience positive psychological growth from difficult times, such as a deeper sense of self and purpose, a greater appreciation for life and loved ones, and an increased capacity for altruism, empathy and desire to act for the greater good." But they won't get to reap all those good things if they avoid facing challenges head-on.
A loser won't ever grow as a person, because they don't try to do hard things. They do mediocre work at their mid-level job, then wonder why they can't get ahead. They stay in relationships that don't actually fulfill them because it seems easier than being alone. They're never truly happy, but they don't push themselves to do the things that might bring them joy.
5. Refusing to admit they're wrong
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Someone who is a loser in life never admits when they're wrong. They dig their heels in and double down on their position, which makes it virtually impossible to reason with them or find some form of compromise.
Wignall pointed out that not admitting mistakes is a sign someone has low self-awareness. Their deep-seated insecurities override their ability to take responsibility when they've done something wrong.
"When someone can't acknowledge even small mistakes, it suggests that they feel tremendous fear and inadequacy," he explained. In contrast, "the willingness to admit to mistakes suggests mental toughness and emotional maturity. It suggests that you have the insight to understand that while mistakes are part of us, they don't define us."
6. Having an entitled attitude
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Being entitled is a behavior that indicates a person will be a loser in life. They hold themselves above other people, coasting on their sense of superiority. They can't handle disappointment, which means they fall apart when things don't go their way.
They expect success without putting in any effort or doing the work, which is what makes them a definitive loser. They genuinely believe that they should get everything they want, just because they want it.
Yet even when they do get exactly what they asked for, they're never fully satisfied. Their entitled attitude inhibits them from truly finding joy in life.
7. Not following through on plans
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A person who has no sense of follow-through will be a loser in life because they'll never reach their full potential. They start things but never finish them. At their core, they're unreliable, which makes them hard to get close to.
Life coach Ericka Isler explained that doing what you say you'll do is the best way to be your truest self.
She advised, "Do your best every day to be 100% certain your words align with your actions. When we don't do what we say we're going to do — for ourselves and others — we derail our credibility with both, resulting in lost confidence and missed connections."
8. Ignoring their health and well-being
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A person who ignores their health and puts their needs on the backburner will be a loser in life, if only because they're not doing the inner emotional work they need to do to show up for themselves. They see self-care as a silly little luxury, instead of recognizing it as a crucial part of a healthy life.
According to substance use disorder counselor Clare Waismann, the true end-goal of self-care is "about fostering a harmonious relationship with ourselves, both physically and mentally, so that we can navigate life's challenges with resilience, embrace joy, and savor the richness of our experiences."
"Self-care isn't just a routine," she concluded. "It's a commitment to our well-being, a journey towards a fulfilling and balanced life."
9. Making excuses
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Making excuses and falling into old habits indicates that a person will be a loser in life. If they don't get their work done, they have a long list of reasons why it wasn't their fault. If they hurt another person's feelings, they blame everything else but their own careless behavior.
Research published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that giving excuses frequently undermines the person's accountability, making them appear untruthful and self-centered.
So, a person who can't take ownership of their own actions lacks a sense of emotional intelligence and maturity. They'll remain a loser in life because they don't care enough about themselves to try to be different.
10. Blaming others for their problems
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Losers blame other people for things that they don't like about their own lives. They don't see the connection between their poor behavior and their own unhappiness. They don't recognize that there will always be consequences for their actions, so they shift blame to avoid feeling the discomfort of being wrong.
According to psychology expert Arash Emamzadeh, shifting blame is an unconscious defense mechanism that involves "attributing one's shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes to others in order to protect one's ego."
"Blaming others appears to reduce a person's own negative emotions," Emamzadeh revealed. "This may explain why poor emotion regulators prefer to point fingers at others rather than hold themselves responsible."
11. Being inauthentic
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Putting on a fake persona indicates that someone will be a loser in life. They're so scared of rejection, they pretend to be someone else, until they no longer know who they really are.
"Being yourself can feel risky, and it is," well-being expert Tchiki Davis explained. "But if you have to hide who you really are, you can end up feeling lost, lonely, or even worthless, because you are basically telling yourself that who you really are isn't okay."
"Rather than letting fear drive our self-expression, we need to learn how to accept ourselves so we can truly be who we are," she concluded. Being authentic is what makes someone truly cool, but unfortunately, people who become losers in life don't quite grasp this.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.