11 Phrases Entitled People Use Often, According To Psychology
People who think they deserve anything and everything they want have no problem telling you so.
CandyRetriever / Shutterstock Being entitled makes people think they deserve preferential treatment and access to special resources. Entitlement is sometimes confused with having high self-confidence or being extremely charming, yet the phrases entitled people use often reveal their underlying selfish motives.
By definition, entitled people believe they’re better than everyone else. Entitled people expect others to bend over backwards to meet their needs. They’re often demanding of people’s time and energy, yet they’re unwilling to extend themselves to meet anyone’s needs but their own. People with a strong sense of entitlement treat others with disrespect while demanding that they go above and beyond to please them.
Here are 11 phrases entitled people use often, according to psychology
1. ‘That’s not my problem’
Aloha Hawaii | Shutterstock
A phrase that entitled people use often is “That’s not my problem.” Entitled people say this when they’re confronted with other people’s needs. If someone makes a request of an entitled person that requires them to put themselves second, they tend to say, “That’s not my problem.”
Emily Zitek, a professor at Cornell University, explained that psychologists define entitlement as “a personality characteristic in which someone has a pervasive sense of deservingness.”
Zitek revealed that being around entitled people can lower other people’s sense of well-being, since entitled people are more likely to create conflict and behave in selfish and dishonest ways. While interacting with entitled people is unpleasant, it’s also fairly unpleasant and satisfying to be entitled.
Zitek noted that entitlement often leads people to have high expectations that go unmet, which put them in a place of psychological distress. Entitled people have a hard time maintaining long-term relationships, which negatively impacts their quality of life.
While every individual person is responsible for managing their own emotions, entitled people say the phrase “That’s not my problem” as a way to put others down. Ultimately, saying “That’s not my problem” keeps them disconnected from other people and reinforces their sense of social isolation.
2. ‘I shouldn’t have to ask’
voronaman | Shutterstock
Another phrase that entitled people use often is “I shouldn’t have to ask.” They believe that other people exist solely to serve them and meet their needs. Being entitled means they have big egos and an overdeveloped sense of self-importance, so they think everyone else should cater to them, without directly expressing their own needs.
The American Psychological Association defined entitlement as “a personality trait characterized by pervasive feelings of deservingness, specialness, and exaggerated expectations.” When an entitled person’s needs aren’t met, they lean on “a sense of perceived injustice” which serves to “bolster their entitled self-concept, leading to a reinforcement of entitled beliefs, thereby initiating the cycle again.”
Entitled people live in a bubble, made iron-clad by their own self-centered beliefs. They have very little perspective or regard for other people, which is why they often say the phrase, “I shouldn’t have to ask.”
3. ‘You owe me’
DW labs Incorporated | Shutterstock
“You owe me” is a phrase that entitled people use often. The phrase signals a deeply-ingrained self-centeredness, along with the belief that someone should get everything they want just because they want it.
As the Berkeley Well-Being Institute points out, entitled people don’t acknowledge or express gratitude for anyone but themselves. They describe entitlement as the opposite of humility, which occurs when someone knows their own limitations and has compassion for the people around them.
While an entitled person thinks they’re owed special treatment, a grateful person doesn’t think they’re owed anything, at all.
Therapist and relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch reveals that there’s “one particular emotion that brings unparalleled benefits to every type of relationship: gratitude.”
“Practicing gratitude and showing it to your partner will help you fulfill your partner's first two needs: the need for reassurance and the need for intimacy,” Dr. Orbuch explains.
“The key to showing gratitude to your partner is to see the world through their eyes,” she advises. “Do and say simple things often to make your partner feel noticed and cared for. When you do, you’ll notice a meaningful improvement in your relationship.”
4. ‘How could you do this to me?’
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A. | Shutterstock
Entitled people often use the phrase, “How could you do this to me” whenever they feel wronged or like they’ve been treated unfairly, which happens a lot. People say this phrase when they see themselves as the victim, which entitled people often do.
Trauma therapist Nancy Carbone shares that having a victim mentality means that “You are never at fault.”
“If you're a victim, everyone else is to blame because you shirk all responsibility and blame others when things go wrong,” she explaines.
Because entitled people see imperfections in everyone but themselves, they’re quick to cast blame on others. They don’t hold themselves accountable for making mistakes. As Carbone notes, “If you get caught up in trying to make them feel better, you, too, can get caught in their tumultuous chaos and go down with them.”
“It’s not your job to rescue negative people who do not want to save themselves,” she concludes.
5. ‘This is beneath me’
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
A phrase that entitled people use often is the phrase “This is beneath me.” Entitled people hold themselves above others, which means they often have superiority complexes. Their belief that they’re better than everyone else means they wouldn’t dare lower themselves to do something for others, unless it benefits them in some way.
Entitled people are especially difficult to collaborate with. They don’t do things for the greater good, yet they want to take all the credit for other people’s hard work. They might think that pitching in equally on a team project is beneath them, since they’re deserving of special treatment.
6. ‘I always get what I want’
Diana Indiana | Shutterstock
Another phrase that entitled people use often is “I always get what I want.” This phrase captures a self-centered mindset, in which someone is willing to put others out just to get what they think they deserve.
Whether it’s a reservation at a fancy restaurant that’s been booked for months or a first-class seat on a full airplane, entitled people will declare, “I always get what I want” to try and make others bend to their will.
They’re not gracious losers, either, which means if they don’t get exactly what they want, they’ll act out and cause a scene, as though throwing a grown-up tantrum will get people to give them what they’re asking for.
7. ‘I won’t take no for an answer’
fizkes | Shutterstock
“I won’t take no for an answer” is a phrase that entitled people use often. It goes hand in hand with their belief that they should always get what they want, no matter what. People who say the phrase “I don’t take no for an answer” are accustomed to people giving into their whims. They often hold positions of power, like your narcissistic boss with delusional beliefs about himself and his employees.
Entitled people use this phrase because they think it makes them sound powerful and commanding, when in reality, it makes them sound egotistical and inflexible.
8. ‘I didn’t come here to be treated like this’
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
Entitled people often use the phrase “I didn’t come here to be treated like this.” They demand the best service, even though they tend to treat service workers like they’re inferior. They use this phrase whenever they’re faced with a slight inconvenience. Picture a celebrity demanding special treatment or your toxic mother-in-law being told she has to wait for anything at all.
Saying the phrase, “I didn’t come here to be treated like this” reinforces the idea that entitled people have about themselves, which is that they’re too special to be held to normal standards.
9. ‘The rules don’t apply to me’
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
“The rules don’t apply to me” is a phrase that entitled people use often. They believe their innate specialness means they don’t have to act in keeping with social norms. They think they’re too important to follow the same rules as everyone else, and they won’t hesitate to let other people know.
In a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers posited that psychological entitlement is a central motivator of status-seeking behavior.
They defined psychological entitlement as “an inflated and pervasive sense of deservingness, self-importance, and exaggerated expectations to receive special goods and treatment without reciprocating.”
According to their findings, status-seekers “promote their own advancement at others’ expense, seek to dominate others via aggressive tactics and organize their lives around gaining power and socially valued achievement.”
Status-seeking individuals are fueled by their sense of entitlement. They don’t believe that they need to hold themselves to the same limits as others, and they don’t hesitate to declare the rules don’t apply to them.
10. ‘This is unacceptable’
fizkes | Shutterstock
Another phrase that entitled people use often is “This is unacceptable.” Their sense of entitlement affects their perspective of the world around them, which often leads to them having impossibly high standards. If they’re not given special treatment, they’ll declare, “This is unacceptable.”
The Berkeley Well-Being Institute notes that having an entitled personality is related to other traits, like being impatient and being resistant to accepting feedback. Because they have unrealistic expectations, they think they deserve to be given exactly what they want in both their professional and personal relationships. When they don’t get what they want, they’ll insist that it’s unacceptable, in an attempt to force people to meet their needs.
11. ‘You should be grateful I’m here’
insta_photos | Shutterstock
Entitled people often use the phrase “You should be grateful I’m here.” They have an inflated sense of self, which means they truly believe people are graced by their presence. Yet there are usually major discrepancies between how they see themselves and how they treat others, which actually makes them fairly unpleasant to spend time with.
Their ungiving nature and self-centered attitude makes it challenging for them to foster true connection with other people. While entitled people often feel lonelier than they let on, they’d never let that slip. Instead, they enter social situations with the mentality that everyone loves them, and that those beneath them should be grateful they even showed up.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.