Attorney Shares 3 Techniques To Get Someone To Agree With You Without Realizing It
Sometimes it's how you say things, not what you say.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock Sometimes, it can be difficult to get someone to see your point of view and agree with what it is you're saying. When two people are at odds and set in their beliefs, arguing points doesn't further the discussion. It only further drives individuals apart, making even compromise difficult.
According to Lawyer Vince, however, sometimes seeing eye to eye is more in how you share your opinions and less in what that opinion actually is. Delivery, it turns out, is much more important than most of us realize. Vince took to TikTok to share three powerful techniques you can use in all aspects of life to get someone to agree with you without even realizing they're doing it.
Here are 3 techniques to get someone to agree with you without realizing it:
1. Make it seem like it's the other person's idea
According to Vince, The key is to suggest things that align with what you're trying to get the other person to agree with over time, so it's more spread out and not all at once. This way, you're subtly getting them to consider what you're saying, and they can make their way over to your idea, but they'll think it was theirs. "You can say things like, 'You know I was thinking about this; what do you think?'" Vince said. "This will let him feel like he's taking the lead with the decision-making process."
It's important not to throw a whole lot of information at them at once, though, because that can become a bit too overwhelming and make them shut down. You never want someone to feel like you're trying to push your opinion onto them. Giving them the information in small bite-sized pieces over time is important for this technique to work.
2. Use positive reinforcement
According to PositivePsychology.com, positive reinforcement occurs when desirable or pleasant stimuli are introduced after a behavior, which helps to reinforce the behavior so that it's more likely to occur again in the future.
Essentially, it's getting a reward for practicing a certain behavior or completing a certain task. In this case, the other person receives good energy from you when they show any indication of agreement with your idea.
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"You want to praise and show excitement when they're leaning towards something that aligns with your desired outcome," Vince said. He recommended using phrases like, "I love when you think like that" or "That's such a great idea." This reinforcement will make the other person more willing to agree with your point of view without feeling pressured.
3. Frame it as a win-win
"You want to present your idea in a way that highlights the benefits for him," Vince said. "Focus on how it aligns with his interests and makes his life easier." Showing the other person all the ways your idea benefits them will make them much more willing to agree with you.
If you just told them how it would benefit you, that's not really going to convince them. But letting them know how your idea would be a positive thing for both of you would shift them in the direction of agreeing with you. Once they see the whole situation as a win-win, they'll embrace your idea and won't be able to believe they ever thought otherwise.
Framing how you present your opinions can benefit all aspects of your life.
It's important to remember that no one wants to spend time with someone who is always trying to force their ideas on them. Vince's techniques aren't about manipulation — they are more about getting others to understand why you feel the way you do and not so much that your way is the best way to think or feel.
Looking at communication as a give-and-take instead of a one-way street can help you in all aspects of life, from friendships to climbing the corporate ladder. Just remember, you have to be open to other ideas if you want those around you to be receptive to your opinions.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.