The Art Of Being Likable: 9 Simple Habits Of The Most Naturally Likable People
The most likable people don't fake charm and make everyone around them feel good.
mentatdgt | Canva Whether you're looking to strengthen your relationships, build deeper connections at work, or simply feel more at ease around others, the good news is that the habits of truly likable people are simple. You don’t need to become someone else to be more likable. The most likable people I know aren’t naturally charming extroverts.
These are the lasting approaches that, once woven into your life, will naturally draw others toward you and create the kind of warmth and connection we all crave. They’re regular people who’ve figured out how to make small adjustments that create results. Here’s what you can start doing today.
Here are 9 simple habits of the most naturally likable people:
1. They respond to compliments with genuine curiosity
Instead of deflecting praise or just saying ‘thanks,’ ask follow-up questions. ‘What made you notice that?’ or ‘That’s kind of you. What specifically stood out?’ This makes the compliment-giver feel heard and valued, whilst also giving you useful information about your strengths.
One study found that individuals with high levels of curiosity reported greater positive interpersonal outcomes, even when interacting with strangers for a short period. Expressing curiosity deepens the conversation and creates a more positive and reciprocal interaction.
2. They remain calm when criticized
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The fastest way to lose respect is getting visibly annoyed when criticized or even when someone holds an opinion you disagree with. This suggests emotional volatility and a lack of trust in your own ability to be happy regardless of what others say or do. Breathe through any resistance and work on this as a habit.
Calmness prevents your emotional response from overriding your ability to think rationally, allowing you to respond based on reason instead of instinct, research has explained. It's important to remember that criticism can highlight blind spots, and a calm response allows you to objectively assess the validity of the feedback and identify areas for self-improvement.
3. They remember one specific thing about each person they meet
Keep it simple. One detail. Have it burn in your mind’s eye. This might be their dog’s name, the fact that they’re renovating their kitchen, or that they mentioned loving horror films.
Next time you see them, casually reference it like a memory wizard. This takes minimal effort but makes people feel genuinely remembered rather than just recognized.
4. They give their approval thoughtfully, not automatically
Don’t disagree with everything, but don’t nod like a gregarious donkey either. Show interest in different perspectives slowly, without immediately jumping to agreement. When you do compliment someone or support their idea, it feels earned rather than automatic.
This concept, studied by psychologist B.F. Skinner, shows that rewarding a behavior on an unpredictable schedule makes that behavior more resistant to extinction. In relationships, a person who sometimes gives and other times withholds approval forces the other person to chase the reward.
5. They ask about the story behind things
Instead of just complimenting someone’s watch, ask ‘Is there a story behind that watch?’ Instead of ‘Nice haircut,’ say ‘What made you decide to change your hair?’ People love sharing the background of their choices. It makes them feel seen, and your interest in going deeper feels like a genuine interest.
Research shows that storytelling serves as a bridge that helps people connect despite different backgrounds and beliefs. Focusing on lived experience allows for understanding even when there is disagreement.
6. They would rather be curious than impressive
They say it’s better to be interested rather than trying to be interesting. People are rather self-conscious, so when you flip the script and stop trying to be impressive, this gets noticed. Take an interest. Ask follow-up questions. People will love that about you because you made it about them.
Research shows that individuals who are curious and listen to understand, rather than just waiting to reply, are often more influential. By demonstrating a sincere interest in others' perspectives, you gain access to new ideas and foster a more collaborative environment.
7. They know when to leave on a high note
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Don’t wait for energy to drain naturally. Wrap up when things are still flowing: ‘I should let you go, but I’ve really enjoyed this.’ People remember you fondly because you never made them feel trapped or drained. And their most recent memory of you is now highly positive.
Findings by Harvard psychologists suggest that because humans are bad at guessing when a conversation should end, some think it's better to leave while things are still good rather than risk overstaying. Leaving someone with a positive final impression is more likely to make them look forward to your next interaction.
8. They are genuinely unimpressed by status symbols
Respond to expensive cars and designer clothes with the same casual energy you’d bring to discussing the weather. This indifference makes status-conscious people work harder to earn your interest through actual substance rather than shallow symbols.
To build genuine relationships, people must show their true selves and not hide behind an impressive facade, a recent study argued. Being genuinely unimpressed by symbols allows you to focus on a person's character, values, and story, which is the foundation for deep, resilient bonds built on trust and mutual respect.
9. They can disagree without making it a debate
State your view clearly, explain your reasoning, then show genuine interest in their perspective without needing to convert them. Do not engage in any argument. That’s just energy wasted, and it makes you look insecure. Being willing to disagree without arguing makes people feel intellectually respected rather than intellectually threatened.
None of this requires changing your personality or becoming someone you’re not. You’re simply being more intentional about how you engage with others.
Most people scatter their attention and approval randomly, hoping to be liked by everyone. But when you’re slightly more selective with your energy, it becomes more valuable. You already have everything you need to be the person others gravitate toward.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
