People Who Can't Answer These 7 Tough Questions Will Never Have The Life They Want

You probably know what your dream life would consist of, what you'd do if money were no issue, or what you hope your life evolves into over the next ten years. Yet, you probably don't know what pain the idea of your "dream life" combats, why money is an issue in the first place, or why we desire this concept of success to console ourselves.

This isn't to say that all aspirations are rooted in something negative. Logic can tell us that this isn't the case. It's aspiring minds and hearts that ultimately push humanity to evolve. It's crucial, but when we talk about living up to our full potential, it tends to err on the side of "how we can appear" as opposed to "what we can be." "Success" tends to come with the undertone of who you are to someone else, and "being" comes with the undertone of who you are on your own.

People who can't answer these tough questions will never have the life they want:

1. What's on the other side of success?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think of the other side of success Ivan Samkov | Pexels

What's the objective of reaching "the top"? To be admired? To be "untouchable"? To prove to other people that you are, in fact, capable and everything else?

"Success" comes with a lot of ridicule, a ton of responsibility, and the constant fear that you'll give up and look like a failure. When you only care about attaining a measurable form of success, it makes the rest of your life, by contrast, "less than."

There are two choices for success: According to life coach Alex Mathers, you can "experience a life of depth and opportunity" or "live safely, avoiding any chance of criticism from others and hiding away." Mathers recommended viewing "criticism with curiosity rather than reacting to it" to become later immune to one of the most common fears.

2. Why do you want to be rich?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think of why you want to be rich cottonbro studio | Pexels

If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it? Would you put it away so you could live comfortably and work less? Would you indulge in extravagance?

What do these answers tell you about your current slot in life? Are you overworking yourself? Are you feeling as though nothing is enough (or that you're never enough)?

Actively considering the reasons behind your desire for wealth is important because it can help you identify whether your motivation aligns with your values and can prevent potential negative consequences associated with a purely materialistic pursuit of wealth.

Often, most will find that beyond a certain point, money alone does not guarantee happiness and can even lead to dissatisfaction if the focus is solely on accumulating it. Instead, research from The Pew Research Center found that understanding the deeper motivations can guide you toward a healthier relationship with money and wealth.

3. If you never received recognition for your success, what kind of success would you strive for?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think of what kind of success you would strive for Ketut Subiyanto | Pexels

If you knew you could succeed at anything, but you wouldn't be recognized for it, what would you do? Who would you help? What would your goal be, then?

Lack of recognition can negatively impact self-esteem and sense of value, causing individuals to seek success in areas where they can build their self-worth through personal growth and mastery rather than relying on external validation. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Vocational Behavior found that not receiving recognition can foster a sense of resilience and autonomy, where individuals are more likely to set goals and pursue success based on their internal standards rather than external expectations.

4. What scares you the most about not being successful?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think of what scares you most about not being successful Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Are you being called toward your purpose or pushed from your fears? Does your work ease your anxiety? Do you create and sustain that anxiety because it fuels you, or motivates you?

5. Who are you still trying to prove yourself to?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think about who you are still trying to prove yourself to Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock

When you imagine yourself being "successful" in your life, what do you see? Likely, you're projecting an image you imagine other people see. Who are those other people?

Give them names and faces if you can. If it's just an essence of the type of person — say, people from high school — that can tell you what you need to know right there.

Psychologist Nick Wignall found that a factor in success is that people "don't get sabotaged and derailed by their thoughts, beliefs, and emotions." Focusing on proving yourself to others as motivation for success isn't sustainable in the long run.

"If you can get in the habit of acknowledging your emotions when they first show up — and then validating them instead of trying to get rid of them — you stand a much better chance of staying emotionally balanced and getting on with your most important work and goals," Wignall explained.

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6. What uncomfortable feeling does the idea of being successful eliminate?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think of what uncomfortable feeling being successful would eliminate Cast of Thousands | Shutterstock

Does it make you feel more worthwhile? More lovable? As though you finally matter?

Believing that you have the power to overcome challenges requires shifting your mindset. As coach Alex Mathers explained, “The secret to achieving anything you want comes down to two words: Thinking small.”

“Wins feel good,” Mathers acknowledged. “Feeling good drives us forward, saturating our souls with creative power. Knowing that we can achieve is life-giving. Believing in ourselves and believing we can achieve even the smallest success is vital.”

7. If you weren't worried about being successful, what would you do with your life?

you'll never have the life you want if you don't think about if you weren't worries about being successful what you would do Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock

If you gave up on everything — the desire to be different, better, richer, more distinguished, more advanced, more accomplished — what would you do? What would matter if this didn't consume all of your time?

When not focused on achieving "success," individuals can explore a broader range of life paths, focusing more on personal fulfillment, intrinsic motivation, creativity, meaningful relationships, community involvement, and personal growth, often leading to more significant. According to a study published in the Universal Journal of Educational Research, this often leads to well-being and life satisfaction. Consider that your answer is a part of your life that you may be neglecting, the part you want to see success in.

Brianna Wiest is the bestselling author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, The Mountain Is You, and more.