If You Believe These 7 Common Lies, You're Never Going To Live The Life You Want
Free yourself from these falsehoods for a higher life experience.
Oneinchpunch | Canva I made mistakes over the years, but I also learned a lot of my dissatisfaction came not from my actions but from the insidious societal lies piped into our skulls from birth. These falsehoods are designed to ensure we conform so we are easy to control. This stifles our potential and joy.
If you believe these 7 common lies, you're never going to live the life you want:
1. Success equals financial wealth
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It’s easy to believe that the more money we have, the more successful we are. Money certainly brings security and options, but many of us take this too far. We’re like crazed tuna bent on taking a bite out of that chunk of squid on a hook.
Money helps, but what if the definition of success changed? What if how we defined success wasn’t down to some old guy in a dusty government office?
What if it was down to you? What if the real success was staying as healthy as possible, living simply, having time for hobbies, and more experiences that challenged you?
Decades of research indicate that the idea that failure is a good thing has entered the realm of the psychology of success. Some psychologists, career coaches, and consultants have labeled this concept “failing forward,” putting a positive spin on a personal or professional reversal. One can learn a lot more from failure than success, and this thinking is a comforting thought to all of us who have not realized the level of success that we had hoped for.
2. The harder you work, the more you'll achieve
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Once you learn new ways to create leverage in your work, you’ll see how silly it is to equate working more with achieving more. For example, why do we work eight hours a day, fifty weeks per year, when we’re twice as productive as we were twenty years ago?
Focus more on following a better strategy (macro), outsource the stuff you don’t need to do, and you’ll create more with less. For many, this takes awareness and getting past the initial weirdness of being able to work less for the same results, but it’s there for the taking.
3. Material possessions bring happiness
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One of the significant lessons in my twenties that had me question everything was finally seeing that happiness doesn’t come from external things.
This is the illusion created by society and our thoughts. If possessions can’t create happiness, then what can? It’s seeing that we have access to happiness at any point, right where we sit, regardless of the circumstances. This seems like some cringe line you’d see in a feel-good self-help guide, but perhaps it’s more profound than at first glance.
4. Conformity is the key to acceptance
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The connection between someone validating our choices and our sense of well-being seems real. But, as with possessions and happiness, it too is an illusion — and one that keeps us miserable. No matter what we choose to do, many people, including family members, will not respond well to our choices.
This needn’t bother you. Conformity may seem secure, but it strips us of our individuality and self-expression. That’s not life.
The alternative is to connect with your true self, be willing to separate from the herd and reap the rewards of taking risks. Acceptance from others is not the goal, but self-acceptance is.
5. A linear life path is best
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Too many conformists think life should follow a predictable path: education, career, house buying, getting married, and retiring. But life is often nonlinear, filled with unexpected changes, opportunities, side-missions, and skipped steps.
When we see our lives not aligning with these expectations, we think we did something wrong. But what we are doing is living like a normal human in a chaotic, modern world.
Embrace the non-linear and know that you may go two steps forward, one step back, and two to the side before you land on what you want. Some of the most fascinating people left the most disorderly trails. Expect the unexpected; you will be more creative and notice more opportunities.
6. Career defines identity
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Many believe, often without realizing it, that their career defines their worth. They become so entwined in their work that they see themselves as their work. Many people who retired or lost their jobs saw what felt like their identities disappear, and they became instantly depressed. You can see why that kind of thinking can be dangerous.
While careers can be significant, this isn’t the only way to see things. What if continual growth was more important than the ‘track record’ you’ve built? What if you were worthy by default, regardless of your career path?
7. Security outranks pursuing your passions
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Countless people have gone to their graves with their music still in them because they overvalued the warm fuzzy feeling of security over the pursuit of passion. I’m not telling you to be reckless; I’m not saying that working to provide security is unimportant.
According to a study from The Society of Behavioral Medicine, the time spent engaging in our passions contributes to lower stress and happiness. Your work can be some sort of an escape. And when it plays out like this, your productivity may increase due to the focus you shift on your job.
But like many things that can make us act irrationally, security is another man-made illusion. The world is inherently uncertain.
Disregarding things that energize you and fulfill your deeper passions so you can feel more in control is a trap. You live once. Do what you need to protect yourself, but then close the door behind you and head out on that adventure.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.