2 Words That Make People Think You Are Low-Status And What To Say Instead
Unfortunately, some people feel like they have no choice but to use them.
fizkes / Shutterstock There are a lot of different factors that go into how people perceive you. One of them is your words. What you say indicates a lot about who you are and what is important to you.
Some words or phrases are stronger than others.
A sales expert shared two words that will lead others to think you’re ‘low-status.’
Mike Manzi is a sales expert on Instagram and he recently shared in a reel on the app a two-word phrase that he feels will automatically make people think of you as low-status.
“There are two words that make sure people think that you are low status: just wanted,” he stated.
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Manzi offered some examples. “I just wanted to reach out,” he said. “I just wanted to let you know. I just wanted to check in.”
On the other hand, Manzi assured his viewers that the “just wanted” problem could be easily fixed.
“The good news is you can solve this by changing it to one word: am,” he said.
He recommended using phrases like, “I am reaching out. I am trying to see if.”
“Remove all ‘just’ and all ‘wanted’ to just ‘I am,’” he advised.
Using the word ‘just’ can water down what you’re trying to say.
Using “just” in this way makes it seem like you are trying to weaken what you’re saying. According to Thesaurus.com, there’s a phrase for that. “The passive-aggressive ‘just’ — you know, the one that is increasingly grating people’s ears through overuse in personal and professional requests — is specifically used as what some linguists refer to as a politeness marker,” they said.
“Politeness markers,” they continued, “are words and phrases meant to create cooperation, show deference, and, well, avoid being mean and bossy while living in a society where we all have to get along but still need things from each other.”
They concluded, “‘Just’ is especially used to soften the force of a demand or weaken an imposition.”
Unfortunately, some feel like they have to use words like ‘just.’
‘Just’ may be known as a politeness marker, and it may make you seem like you are of lower status for using it, but, some feel like they don’t have a choice.
One person commented on Manzi’s reel and said, “Saying ‘just’ all the time is (sadly) required for women in business. We’re required to diminish our asks, input, ideas, and direction.”
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While some may scoff at this and say it’s not actually true, evidence backs it up.
STEM Women wrote about the differences in language used by women and men in the workplace.
“Through speech habits, women strive to appear apologetic, surprised or even uncertain about what they are saying, which can lead to their opinions being undervalued,” they stated. “This constant diminishing of power through the language women use at work is harmful and unnecessary.”
Although women may often do this subconsciously, there is a very specific reason behind it.
STEM Women said, “In Tara Mohr’s book "Playing Big," she discusses whether women use these kinds of communication habits to be strategic and have their voices heard. Known as ‘strategic softening,’ women tend to use language that paints them as non-threatening or approachable in order to convey likeability or to help them be heard in situations.”
Because of the bias against women in the workplace, they feel the need to use words like “just” in professional settings. This can make their input more digestible for the men they work with, but that doesn’t mean they’re low-status. Instead, they’re just trying to get by.
It can be dangerous to judge someone based on their words alone, especially if you don’t already know them. Automatically assigning a low status to someone because they use a certain phrase isn’t entirely fair.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.