10 Brutal Signs He Just Wants To Be Friends
Does he only see you as one of the guys?
garetsworkshop / Shutterstock I've had a bad habit of repeatedly falling for the same type of guy — and then promptly sliding into buddy territory, where he wants to just be friends instead of my boyfriend.
Such behavior has obviously made for a good amount of angst and extreme amounts of unrequited love.
If you find yourself in the same position wondering, "does he like me more than a friend?" there are some specific ways to tell if a guy is interested in you, or if he's just being friendly.
How can you tell if you're going down that same, unpleasant path? Luckily, sometimes it's obvious that he's not into you the same way you are him.
Here are 10 brutal signs he just wants to be friends:
1. You always initiate
The time you spend together is the stuff movie montages are made of, filled with goofball antics, laughter, and moments of heart-pounding verbal intimacy — except your heart is probably the only one pounding.
If you're always the one to pick up the phone, chances are he's not quite as eager to see you as you are to see him.
2. When he does initiate, he brings a backup (or five)
Bereft over the fact that you never get that much-desired quality alone time together? If he's only inviting you out on group outings, it's probably because he sees you as one of the guys.
This can be flattering, but he doesn't generally cuddle with his guy friends after spending the day together.
3. He calls you "Buddy"
Or bro. Or your last name, circa high school. Or something else that is distinctly unfeminine and a glaring reminder that he's not into you.
4. He talks about his love life with you
This is so heart-shatteringly painful that it takes all you have not to break down in tears in front of him.
Instead, you swallow your pain and pretend to be totally fine with rating the attractiveness of various female passersby — thereby solidifying even further your status as his "bro."
5. He frantically attempts to set you up with men that aren't him
He's no dummy. On some level, he knows you dig him. And he feels terrible that he doesn't feel the same way.
This is why he's suddenly so determined to find you another guy with whom you can share everlasting love. No, he's not testing your loyalty. He's trying to ease his guilt.
6. You have sleepovers
But he doesn't lay a finger on you — no matter how often you "accidentally" bump into him or allow your sweatshirt to fall seductively over one shoulder, Flashdance style.
7. He only gets grabby when he's been drinking
If a dude likes you, he'll find any excuse he can to touch you: playfully, comfortingly, seductively. (Does anyone remember when tickle fights were a perfectly viable pick-up tactic?)
But if he only gets touchy-feely when he's drunk, lonely, or miserable due to the effects of a recent breakup, don't be tempted to take advantage of this momentary bit of vulnerability. You're looking for a sober seduction, remember?
8. He then says, "We're friends... right?"
If you do happen to experience a lapse in good judgment, there's a good chance you'll hear this line the morning after. And good gracious, this line is frustrating.
9. He's dating your roommate
Despite all that you've shared, he ends up falling in love with your roommate the very first time you bring him home. Even worse is the fact that she then reciprocates. Misery ensues.
10. He comes out to you
In case you were wondering, if he happens to confide in you that he does cuddle with the guys after spending the day with them, you shouldn't take this news as a challenge to "turn" him. That would just be a ridiculous, crazy exercise in futility.
Believe us. You'll know the signs a guy likes you when they show up. He'll start wearing spiffy clothes and cologne when he hangs out with you. He'll initiate tickle fights. He'll try to touch you more often.
Seriously, you'll just know.
Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and editor. She's overshared about her life in Playgirl, Time Out New York, American Curves, New York Press, Nerve, and other publications.