3 Types Of Text Messages Narcissists Love Sending
Look out for these signs and save yourself from an emotionally draining relationship.
Mihail Guta | Shutterstock Many of us hope to find the “one.” We may yearn for a deep connection with a lifelong companion, someone who transcends an ordinary bond. Unfortunately, in our search for the “one,” we sometimes find ourselves in a relationship with a narcissist. It’s not an ideal situation, but their initial attraction and charm can trick us into feeling like they’re it.
Thankfully, with a little bit of help, it’s become a lot easier to identify a narcissist. Lawyer and high-conflict communication expert Mia Madafferi took to Instagram to share the top three types of texts narcissists send. In addition to this insight, she provides other guides into the psychology of a narcissist and how to communicate with them.
1. The 'me, me, me' message
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One trait narcissists love exhibiting is boasting about themselves. Madafferi referred to these boastful messages as the “me, me, me” texts, which she explained they still send even after separation.
She wrote, "The narcissist LOVES sending texts that are all about them or how good they are." She went on to highlight a specific scenario: “For example, they will text about an accolade your child has received and say that it is because of all the time/ effort/ training the narcissist has been putting in with the child.”
If you’re confused when you receive messages like this and want to know if you’re dealing with a narcissist, ask yourself: Do they ever compliment you or show you admiration? Do they ever give you credit for your role in raising your child?
2. The text after text after text
Madafferi also warned about the “text after text after text” technique narcissists like to use to exhaustively get your attention. This message highlights the narcissist's impatience. Madafferi explained that a narcissist has a sense of entitlement. Therefore, if you don’t answer their texts immediately, watch out for the flood of incoming texts demanding a response: “Hello? Can you respond? I need an answer.” She further explained that if the narcissist gets paranoid, he or she might call you 10 or more times without any consideration as to whether you’re busy or deem their message unurgent compared to everything else going on.
According to the Mayo Clinic, this may tie into the narcissist's unreasonable sense of self-importance and constant requirement and need for excessive admiration. Replying right away to the narcissist feeds into their entitlement because it shows your admiration for them.
So, when you don’t respond, they become impatient and even angry when you delay instant recognition. When determining whether you're involved with a narcissist, assess their patience and how often they press for a text response.
3. The 'let's interrupt your social life' text
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The last message Madafferi said to keep a lookout for is the “let’s interrupt your social life” text. She wrote, “Do you notice that when the kids are with the narcissist, they message you more? Or they’ll text late on a Friday night, for example, with a question that didn’t need to be asked?” She went on to explain that a narcissist needs to know what you’re up to or who you’re with.
Sarah Barkley from Psych Central shared that this is because narcissists struggle seeing people happy. In a relationship, your happiness threatens their dominance over you, so she recommended, when dealing with a narcissist, to ignore their negativity, remind yourself of the reasons for your happiness, avoid arguing or trying to change a narcissist's mind, and, finally, set boundaries. Once you set those boundaries and acknowledge how you want to be treated, be ready to follow through and be willing to walk away if you feel you aren’t being treated well.
Start recognizing the signs now and decide whether you’re willing to make the relationship work or if you’re done. Remember, support is out there. You’re not alone.
Mina Rose Morales is a writer and photojournalist with a degree in journalism. She covers a wide range of topics, including psychology, self-help, relationships, and the human experience.
