Gen-X People Like Me Grew Up On MTV And Mistrust — And Now We're Just Suspicious Of Everything
Only time will tell if Gen-X can break free from the constant ‘flight or fight’ lifestyle that has left us running on empty.
Alexander Grey | Unsplash Editor's Note: This is a part of YourTango's Opinion section where individual authors can provide varying perspectives for wide-ranging political, social, and personal commentary on issues.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of comedy pieces and memes about Gen-X portray them as pessimists who are all doom and gloom? As a member of Gen-X, I often found myself nodding in agreement with these jokes and memes as I could relate to them on a personal level.
I also noticed a frequent pattern amongst other Gen-Xers who also seemed able to identify with the barrage of pessimistic-themed Gen-X memes and jokes.
There's a universal vibe that most Gen-Z people like me seem to share: a strong inability to feel optimism.
Over the years, I often found myself struggling to see the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’, so to speak. I noticed that even when things were going well for me, I felt as though I could not let my guard down and trust anything positive that happened in my life. I was essentially always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I never truly understood why.
As I began to look into this further and speak to other Gen-X members, this seemed to be something many had in common. It was as though we were so accustomed to negatives in our lives that we could not trust when good things were happening. Even when reading Gen-X group forums, the general tone is very pessimistic and lacking optimism.
I began to wonder what may have been contributing factors to this curse of pessimism with Gen-X, and I found several possible elements that may have led to this generational hex.
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These components include the movies and music we grew up with, the home situations we were exposed to, and the general societal issues our generation faced from our youth.
First, let's look at the movies Gen-X grew up with that may have programmed this negativity. Some movies I covered previously in my piece “Is Gen-X Stuck in ‘Fight or Flight’?” are part of the problem, such as Watership Down, Dead Poets Society, and My Girl. These movies portray themes of nonstop struggle, failing even when you fight for what you believe in, and when everything seems to be going well, something bad will happen and knock you down.
Several other movies further contributed to the lack of optimism that Gen-X suffers from. Reality Bites was a huge movie for Gen-X’ers, and while we would like to assume that the characters finally got their ‘happy ending’ as the movie closed, it is more likely that this did not happen. This is the same with several other Gen-X movies such as St. Elmo’s Fire, Boys in the Hood, and Trainspotting.
Each of those Gen-X movies seemed to radiate the concept that no matter what, there is no real happy ending.
In the end, you will have to fight nonstop and likely still lose, and if you let your guard down and trust when things are going well, something will come out of nowhere to break you down.
The common trend in these movies was that even your nearest and most trusted friends, in the end, will betray you. They show relationships in such a negative light, filled with drama, lies, and abusive behavior. Violence, drug abuse, and careless intimacy are also common themes in those movies.
This likely contributed to the dark cloud that hovers over the heads of many Gen-Xers. Another movie that defined Gen-X and drilled the mindset that no one can be trusted and everything will always go wrong was the movie Kids. From start to finish, this movie is dark and depressing and focuses on the negative lifestyles of young teenagers and their downfall from their bad choices.
These movies fed into the aspects of fear and distrust that have become defining traits for many members of Gen-X. We struggle to trust in love because these movies showed us so many negative sides of love. We grew weary of love and this led to a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors in our personal relationships.
Even with our closest friends, many Gen-X’ers that I know struggle with staying in touch with those close friends because of a fear of trusting others. Gen-X has learned to always prepare for the negative sides of every relationship in their lives, from intimate to friendly to work relationships. Each of these movies hit so hard and scarred the generation so severely that it left many unable to trust the ‘happy.’ We were always waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath us.
The music Gen-X grew up with further contributed to this pessimistic vibe in a lot of ways as well.
For example, the R.E.M. song “It’s the End of the World as We Know It.” This was a big song for Gen-X, and it is essentially about feeling a lack of care when everything is falling apart.
To me, it always felt like the song was basically about giving up on fighting and on hoping for better, instead, it was about just being numb and always anticipating the bad. Many songs from Nirvana also shared this same vibe, where it was just eluding to depression and morose. There were also the endless songs over heartbreak and unrequited love, and songs about revolution and fighting the system.
All of which further added to the overall wavering optimism of Gen-X. Rage Against the Machine, Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Pearl Jam, etc., the list goes on. Many of these artists graced Gen-X with songs that defined the generation with words of distrust, struggle, and sadness.
It's no wonder why many members of Gen-X learned to embrace the darkness rather than accepting that there was something better.
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The domestic/home situation and our societal influences further added to this aspect. Many members of Gen-X learned to grow up faster than they should have for various reasons.
Many Gen-X people experienced the stress of caring for siblings or younger family members when they were very young. We were also the confidants of adults in our lives because there seemed to be a lack of understanding that we were children.
We were raised during times when war seemed to constantly be looming overhead. A constant struggle between war and peace, revolution and change, everything was always filled with uncertainty, and the lesson was not to trust anything.
From our movies and music to our domestic and societal influences, Gen-X has been heavily programmed with the idea that there is no true happily-ever-after ending. We learned that when we trust and love someone, they will eventually hurt or betray us. We were encouraged with the mindset that casual intimacy, violence, and drug use were acceptable ways to cope with negative situations and emotions as we experience them.
Being raised with these concepts from childhood is likely a big reason for the generational hex that seems to loom overhead with a lot of Gen-Xers. The inability to truly let our guard down and trust that things will work out has weighed heavily on Gen-X. We continually find ourselves lacking the true ability to believe things will work out.
Gen-X has been taught to live preparing for the negative, rather than how to embrace the positive. As we continue to get older, maybe we will start to break this curse of constant pessimism, but the negative societal influence is weighing heavily on many of us at this time.
Only time will tell if Gen-X can break free from the constant flight or fight lifestyle that has left us running on empty, and learn to embrace a chance at happily-ever after.
Luna Verity is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about personal and social subjects, as well as fictional works. She writes in her free time on Medium.com and Vocal.Media. She has been focused on her writing after leaving the corporate accounting world last year. She has done some contributing work with Collider.com and Buzzfeed as well.
