Chronically Single Woman Criticized After Describing Her Dream Man — 'This List Is Insane'
If you aren't aware of your worth and what you deserve, your partner won't be either!
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock Many people have high standards when it comes to dating. In fact, data from Pew Research Center shows that 43% of Americans who have difficulty dating report having trouble finding someone who meets their expectations. They have a clear vision of what they want in a partner and how they expect to be treated, and won't settle for less.
Allie Jean Duff, a 31-year-old content creator, is among those with high standards. In a recent video, she shared her list of requirements for a future partner, but commenters were quick to call her unrealistic.
The single woman was criticized after describing her 'dream man.'
Duff describes herself as "chronically single" and wouldn’t have it any other way! She encourages fellow singles to find satisfaction in their decision until the right person comes along.
“If you're like me and you're chronically single or you've been single your whole life, people will love to tell you that the reason you're single is because you're setting your standards way too high. You should settle,” Duff said. “Well, I think they're wrong.”
“They always just assume that we don't know what we want as women or that we're just waiting for Prince Charming,” she continued. “Here's the thing, [I’m] not waiting for Prince Charming. I'm waiting for a man who's gonna treat me right. I'm waiting for a man who's going to treat me the way I deserve. I'm waiting for someone who I wanna actually spend the rest of my life with, who's gonna add value to my life.”
Duff then shared a lengthy list of everything she expects from her dream partner.
To sum it up, Duff’s dream man is someone emotionally available, supportive, independent, goal-oriented, and family-driven. He wants kids, likes dogs, wants to travel the world, and is active without being a gym rat. Ideally, he has a close relationship with his parents and has nieces and nephews she can be an aunt to.
“He treats me like a queen,” she added, “but he also does not baby me or smother me or is super clingy ... He also never allows me to feel insecure."
She also touched on her dream man's physical appearance, noting that, ideally, “he has the vibe and looks like Liam Hemsworth or like Chris Hemsworth.” He must be taller than her, and bonus points if he has tattoos.
Although it may take a while to find this man, Duff knows that the wait will be worth it. “This is why I'm not settling. Because I truly feel like I deserve this,” she said.
Some people online insisted that Duff’s criteria were unrealistic, while others praised her high standards.
Many commenters suggested that she be more flexible with her list since it would be difficult for someone to check off her every box.
“It’s cool to have standards, but just know when you’re in a relationship, even with your dream person, they are not going to always check off every box or love you the way your mind wants 24/7,” one user wrote.
“This sounds like a list a 14-year-old girl wrote," another commenter claimed. "'Looks like Liam Hemsworth.' Do you know they’re all married to literal models?"
Others, however, commended Duff for being aware of what she expects from her dream partner so that she never puts up with someone who doesn't treat her right. Some commenters shared that they found their perfect partner, without sacrificing their standards.
“Keep your standards VERY HIGH. Many women settle and then bash women who don't. Those same women regret it later in life for settling," one user wrote. "Do you girl."
“I wrote down a list of 33 things I wanted in a man," another commenter shared. "Found him, seven years later and two kids, he’s still as amazing and checks all the things on my list."
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having high expectations, but remember that no human is perfect.
Having high standards for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is entirely understandable. You should not settle for someone who doesn't treat you how you deserve. But even the best people have days when they fall short.
That's not to say that Duff should lower her standards — she shouldn't. But, for a relationship with your dream person to work, both of you must be willing to grow and adapt. Having too rigid expectations can hinder the development of a meaningful connection. Often, true love and compatibility are about finding a balance, not meeting a checklist.
Even if your dream partner does not look like a Hemsworth brother, he may make up for it by sending you flowers every anniversary, taking you out for ice cream after you’ve had a bad day, and surpassing expectations you never even thought to put on a list!
Until that day comes, don’t settle and hold your standards close to your heart. You are a catch, and your dream partner should most certainly know that!
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
