11 Bold Phrases Brilliant Women Say Once They Stop Settling For Less Than They Deserve
It's a magical thing when women realize they deserve better.
Michael Walk | Unsplash It may be a bold assumption to suggest that women tend to settle for less than they deserve more than men, whether it's in the workplace, their intimate relationships, or in their personal lives. But research argues it's not entirely misguided. According to a Hewlett Packard internal report, the majority of women don't apply for jobs unless they believe they're 100% qualified. Another study from Body Image found that women are happier in relationships with less attractive men. A third study from SELF Magazine says 80% of women stay in friendships they know are toxic.
So, what happens when women stop settling and start pursuing and advocating for themselves in every aspect of their lives? Well, it starts with combating stigmas and societal expectations that urge them to ask for less, using some of the demanding language and bold phrases brilliant women say once they stop settling for less than they deserve. It may be uncomfortable and awkward to ask for what you deserve and stop settling for what's beneath you, but it's the key to living a truly empowered life.
Here are 11 bold phrases brilliant women say once they stop settling for less than they deserve
1. 'I'm confident in what I can bring to the table'
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While women often say this phrase in their relationships that have soured, it can also apply to the workplace.
Many of the societal stereotypes that urge women to settle for less than they deserve also follow them into the workplace, encouraging them to steer clear of conversations about salary negotiations, not voice their opinions around male peers, and avoid asking for more responsibility.
When brilliant women shift their mindset and make the intentional decision to stop settling, they also thrive in the workplace — setting better boundaries, applying for jobs they may not be entirely qualified for, and advocating for themselves in conversations with opportunities they'd otherwise avoid.
2. 'I deserve more than what you're providing'
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According to Harvard research on healthy relationships, "genes" mean a lot less to women in their connections than "joy." Women care more about being treated kindly, supported, and respected by their male partners than what they look like on the outside.
However, when the emotional, social, and verbal side of their relationship changes for the worst, it takes clear communication and boundaries to find a healthy balance again. And one of the bold phrases brilliant women say once they stop settling for less than they deserve is flat-out saying "I deserve more than what you're providing."
Of course, women settling in toxic relationships aren't always seeking out bad partners, they just avoid the uncomfortable conversations and vulnerability that keeps relationships healthy in the long-term.
By using a phrase like this to express your needs and set a boundary, empowered women vocalize the changes they need in their relationships — or, they leave them.
3. 'I'm capable of making my own decisions'
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By using a phrase like this to combat an overbearing partner, a controlling co-worker, or a toxic friend, empowered and brilliant women build trust with themselves.
They remind their internal critic that they don't need external validation to fuel their lives — they're perfectly capable of navigating their lives, making decisions, and looking out for their best interests.
Licensed clinical psychologist Jacquelyn Johnson suggests that building trust with yourself starts with reconnecting with your goals, beliefs, perspectives, and values. What do you really want? What are your needs? How can you show up better for yourself, both at home, at work, and in relationships?
By getting on the same page with your mind and body, you protect yourself from settling for less than you deserve without even realizing it because you know what you need and how to ask for it.
4. 'You're not the center of my universe'
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While society tends to innately pin men at the center of women's lives, there's power in decentering them completely.
By making decisions, crafting a life, and engaging in relationships where men, validation from men, and their needs never take precedence over you — as a woman — you finally learn to stop settling for less than you deserve.
It's possible to still maintain healthy relationships with men, excel at work with male colleagues or bosses, and navigate society successfully when you've decentered men, but you'll also be personally empowered and confident to excel in your own life.
5. 'Here are my needs — you can listen or you can leave'
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According to counselor Jodie Arnot, self-care and expressing needs can be seen as controversial for women who have developed people-pleasing tendencies as a result of societal pressures or their upbringing.
Rather than find partners who encourage them to advocate for themselves and grow, they settle for stagnant relationships where their needs often go unnoticed and unsupported.
Brilliant women use bold phrases like this one when they're sick of settling for mediocre partners and toxic relationships. They know what they need and they're not afraid of pressures that urge them to avoid vocalizing them.
6. 'How would you feel if I treated you the way you treat me?'
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Staying in toxic relationships and settling for misbehavior in every aspect of your life can negatively affect your self-esteem, sparking self-doubt and urging you to believe you're less deserving of healthy communication, unconditional love, or even respect.
Many women feel like their partners deserve more than them, it's their fault they're in a bad relationship, or they're less deserving of the basic foundations of a healthy connection simply because of who they are. But, that's not the case, and using a question like this to flip the script on that toxic belief can make other people in your life aware of your needs.
Tolerating misbehavior isn't making anyone else more comfortable, it's just setting you up to trust yourself less, feel less certain about your skills, and sabotage your self-confidence in the long run.
7. 'No'
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Many women inherently adopt people-pleasing behaviors from a young age, encouraged to avoid saying "no" for the sake of other people's comfort and their societal perception, according to licensed professional clinical counselor Dr. Teyhou Smyth, but empowered women who know not to settle use it often.
Whether it's to set boundaries with work or express their needs in a relationship, this is one of the bold phrases brilliant women say once they stop settling for less than they deserve.
"No" is a full sentence and women deserve to use it.
8. 'I'm not sabotaging my success to make you more comfortable'
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According to a study from the Journal of Business Research, many of the determinants of a woman's success in the workplace are inherently tied to the societal expectations she's held to — like quietness or agreeableness.
It's these same traits that simultaneously hold women back from expressing their needs and setting boundaries, keeping them in a cycle of settling for less than they deserve, but occasionally being rewarded for doing so in institutions like the workplace.
Empowered women, who know what they deserve and how to vocalize it, use phrases like this to avoid dimming their unique shine for the sake of someone else. They don't turn down opportunities for the sake of someone else's comfort, alter their appearance or identity for validation, and they definitely don't settle for partners that hold them back from achieving their goals.
9. 'I expect my relationships to respect my boundaries'
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Chances are if you're feeling consistently disrespected in a relationship, you haven't had clear communication about your boundaries or a partner who's willing to set aside their pride for the sake of your well-being.
According to psychologist Rachel Goldman, showing respect looks different for every person in a relationship, but being deserving of it is a common thread. Empowered women who make the choice to stop settling use phrases like this to demand it.
Of course, you shouldn't have to beg someone in your life to simply respect you. If making space for conversations about your boundaries or basic mutual respect is too offensive or taxing, you're probably settling for a partner who's not worth your time and energy.
10. 'I'm comfortable with who I am'
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According to natural health writer Karolyn A. Gazella, having low self-esteem can have detrimental effects on a person's mental and physical health.
While it's often uncomfortable and taxing to build, navigating life with self-esteem and a level of personal comfort makes everything more enjoyable, you're less likely to settle for a toxic partner, stay in a horrible job, or overwork yourself trying to seek external validation, praise, or attention from others.
The power of self-respect and confidence is especially important for women, especially those who may have been prone to settling for less than they deserve at some point in their lives.
By using a phrase like this and crafting a routine filled with habits that uplift and empower them, women aren't just living a more comfortable life, they're making a conscious effort to choose themselves every day.
11. 'Nobody else gets to control my life'
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Experts from therapy organization Inclusive Therapists argue that embracing true self-confidence and self-respect starts with building a relationship with yourself.
Women can break free from societal expectations by figuring out her own priorities and crafting a routine that helps her pursue her unique goals.
She can avoid toxic relationships and settling for bad partners by setting clear expectations, vocalizing her needs, and being intentional about acknowledging "red flags." She can eliminate self-doubt and uncertainty by making her own decisions, seeking support when necessary, and getting clear about her aspirations and goals.
All of these behaviors, alongside the bold phrases brilliant women say once they stop settling for less than they deserve, helps empower women from simply accepting what society deems "appropriate" for them and giving them the tools to pursue what they truly deserve.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
