Gen Z Couple Called 'Insufferable' After Sharing Their Favorite Weekend Pastime
There's a fine line between "insufferable" and relationship goals.
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock Sharing your relationship online is nothing new. According to the Pew Research Center, 48% of people aged 18-29 post about their current relationship on social media. Whether what they post is carefully curated and filtered to garner attention and likes is debatable, but what isn't debatable is the fact that sharing a glimpse of these personal moments often does just that.
Case in point: Emily Nasser and her boyfriend. Nasser shared a short video on TikTok of her and her boyfriend sharing what she called her "favorite part of the week," and it didn't quite have the positive relationship goals response she was most likely hoping for.
A Gen Z couple was labeled 'insufferable' after sharing their favorite weekend activity.
"Every Sunday," wrote Nasser in text overlay to a TikTok post, "My boyfriend and I find a coffee shop and spend a couple hours working on anything that isn't work — building new skills, journaling, researching things that sparked curiosity. Sometimes, we spend the time building out our dream life together. Other days, we work side by side, doing our own thing. Either way, it has become my favorite part of the week."
The video, which has 2.3 million views and 204,000 likes, was met with backlash. A comment with 12,000 likes asked, "Why are we making relationships corporate cosplay?" Another commenter said, "Wrong app! Off to LinkedIn with ye!"
There were a few who supported the couple: "Why is everyone so negative. Great idea to grow and work on your life together!" wrote one user. Another said, "Anyone who has anything negative to say about this lacks ambition and will struggle to better themselves while in a relationship."
Nasser never officially responded to the hate, and maybe she doesn't have to. The commenters seem pretty evenly divided about whether this is #CoupleGoals or #Cringe. But it turns out that this activity comes from a psychological practice that is a key part of development.
The couple's weekend activity is an example of parallel play.
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
According to the CDC, "Parallel Play" is when children play adjacent to each other but do not influence each other's behavior. This is a huge part of a child's development. In a New York Times article about the importance of continuing this practice in adulthood called "Let's Ignore Each Other in the Same Room," Dr Amir Levine, a psychiatrist and author, explained, “Parallel play is one of the hallmarks of secure relationships, but it has to be done right.” Levine continued, “It’s all about availability. If you know that the other person is available and that, if you need them, they will pay attention to you, then you feel secure.”
However, Levine also stressed the importance of security in the relationship when it comes to parallel play. "It will feel magical to be able to do things in parallel under the same roof. But, if the person feels uncared for, then these things make them feel alone."
Unsure about how to employ parallel play or how it can work for you? Think of it this way: Have you ever had a friendship where you felt like you could "do nothing" together and be perfectly happy? That could be a sign that you're already employing aspects of parallel play in your life.
So, even though Nasser and her boyfriend's hobby could be seen as "cringe," it's actually a good depiction of parallel play. If you're in a relationship where both of you are often busy with work, working side by side can be a way to spend time together while still getting things done. This should not entirely replace more intentional time together but can supplement balancing a busy to-do list.
It's important to prioritize intentional downtime so you avoid wasting precious weekend hours.
Often, when we find ourselves with free time, we can use it all up by scrolling through TikTok or social media. By planning intentional downtime, we can focus on the things we want to get done. You don't have to plan out every single aspect of your life, but by saying to yourself, "The next time I have free time, I want to paint or practice the guitar," you're much more likely to work on these skills or do something you want to do rather than waste it all scrolling.
Neuroscientist Deb Knobelman, Ph.D., also expressed the importance of scheduling yourself downtime throughout the day so that you don't get overwhelmed and burnt out. "The point of planning a day is to feel productive and accomplished about the day. To stop worrying about what needs to get done and execute. But if the schedule is too crowded, it has the opposite effect," said Knobelman.
By scheduling time to spend together, working on things they want to build like their "dream life" or skill-building, Nasser and her boyfriend are scheduling these activities that they otherwise might not be able to make time for. By scheduling intentional downtime to build skills or work on something you've been meaning to do, you're more likely to do it and less likely to spend it all scrolling on social media.
So, even though Nasser's TikTok might feel a little cringey or embarrassing, there were nuggets of wisdom to be found within it. Should you feel guilty that your relationship doesn't look like hers? Absolutely not! If your weekend vibe is much more laid-back, and it works for you and your partner, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Parallel play doesn't have to look the same for every couple. The importance is in the connection.
Alexis Faible is a writer with a Bachelor's in fashion design and a Master's in journalism covering fashion, relationships and human-interest stories.
