6 Common Gen-X Parenting Experiences That Today's Parents Think Are Completely Insane
Gen-X, free-range and no seat belts required.
melissamn | Shutterstock There were no seat belts in the car barreling down the state route. Dad was driving as he lit a cigarette with one hand and held an open can of beer in the other. His right knee steadied the steering wheel as he passed Mom the lighter. All the windows were rolled up.
In the back seat, I waited for the ride to end so I could breathe smoke-free air and get on with the rest of my unsupervised day. Growing up Gen-X with Boomer parents was a riot, sometimes literally, if you spoke out of turn. Younger parents of today consider those 'classic' childhood experiences insane.
Here are common Gen-X parenting experiences that today's parents think are insane:
1. Having no supervision after school whatsoever
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Counselor Larry Michel is struck by his memories. Good lord, there are so many things that have changed, starting with letting your kids bike and hike wherever they want, sometimes into the evening. "Just be home for dinner!" was the only rule.
A big generational shift is the time kids had to themselves. They were often home alone because, with Gen X families, the parents commonly both had jobs.
The unstructured, free-range play of Gen-X kids allowed for creativity, adventure, and developing social skills. We had to navigate conflict with just about anybody, including our friends and strangers alike, and make decisions without constant adult supervision, which built confidence and adaptability.
2. Walking alone to school
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Gen X's parenting style was radically different from today's, according to therapist Gloria Brame. The commonality of households where both parents worked and single-parent households spiraled with high divorce rates, which earned Gen X the title of "the latchkey generation" since many kids returned home from school to empty homes and let themselves in.
Because of financial pressures on parents, child supervision was lax, to say the least. Generation X'ers often remember vanishing for days at a time from home without their parents even knowing where they went or what they did.
Today's parents find it shocking that Gen X kids walked alone to school, stayed alone in homes and apartments, and somehow survived without careful monitoring. Parents now keep a careful eye on their kids at all times, aided in no small part by the advent of cell phones and social media, which allow them to keep track of their children 24/7.
3. Having parents who didn't drive us places or become involved in our activities
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Life coach Mitzi Bockmann recalls how Gen-Xers were un-parented. Our parents clothed and fed us, but we were otherwise on our own. Our parents didn't drive us places, didn't get involved in our activities (if we had them), let us roam free far and wide, and left us to own devices in many aspects of our lives. Helicopter parenting was not a thing.
4. Not validating or acknowledging anxiety
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Coach Bockmann continues, Gen-Xers were not parents who were willing to use the word "anxious" to describe any little thing that was wrong with our children. Instead, we were careful to be more precise in the diagnosis of our kids so we could be more assured of how we managed whatever the issue was, and medication was never the first course of action.
5. Spanking children with a wooden spoon
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Senior editor Aria Gmitter has seen and heard some jaw-dropping things about Gen-X parents using wooden spoons and other forms of corporal punishment. For example, making the child cut a switch from a tree to be used by the parent for spanking the child, forcing children to stand with their face in a corner, or outright slapping a child in public.
With pride, some Gen X parents often went hard with physical punishment on their kid, and rationalize it by saying, "At least you didn't have it as bad as my parents did to me". Thankfully, we have evolved as parents now and can use our words instead.
6. Paying your own way as a kid
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Making your children use their own money to pay for their things, not just their fun stuff, but pay for their things as soon as they could do so, instead of their parents, recalls Gmitter. Gen-X kids had to start paying for their stuff even as young as the 4th grade with paper routes, berry picking, and mowing lawns. There was an entire list of underage jobs. There weren't any parents saying, "You earn your own fun money, and I will take care of your necessities until you get a stable job".
If you were a kid and earning, you contributed by paying for yourself. Gen-Xers survived what their parents and the world had to throw at them, and many did it on their own. For my young self, barreling down that state route, I figured out how to carefully crack open the back window of the car.
The slightest movement of the window lever opened a small spot where the seal had worn away. A jet of fresh outside air would flow directly into my nose if I curled up in a ball on my left side and angled my head just right. This position also proved beneficial when the car rolled a few times before coming to rest upside down in a ditch.
Much like the Gen-Xers who made their way by wile or by wit, everyone in the car walked away from the wreck.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.