11 Things High IQ People Never Waste Their Time On
When you're really smart, you know better than to spend time on things that will get you nowhere.
Tetiana Ch / Shutterstock High IQ people are nothing if not efficient. They know that time is a finite resource, which is why they try to streamline everything they take on. They’re always seeking out ways to improve themselves, which means they keep an open mind. They’re willing to change their perspective and try out new things.
For high IQ people, resisting change is useless, because life is always changing. High IQ people never waste their time on things that keep them from growing into who they want to be. They channel their superior brain power into self-reflection and building up their self-awareness.
Here are 11 things high IQ never waste their time on
1. Complaining
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Attitude is everything in life, which is why high IQ people never waste their time complaining. They’re highly attuned to their emotions. They’re experts at expressing how they feel, but they also know that being excessively negative serves no real purpose.
According to psychologist Guy Winch, chronic complaining doesn’t do much to change your circumstances. Venting and whining just reinforce how badly you feel, without solving any of your problems.
“When we have so many dissatisfactions and frustrations, yet believe we're powerless to do much about them or to get the results we want, we are left feeling helpless, hopeless, victimized, and bad about ourselves,” he explained. “This accumulation of frustration and helplessness can add up over time and impact our mood, our self-esteem, and even our general mental health.”
High IQ people don’t waste their time focusing on disappointments, they focus on solving their problems and changing their circumstances.
2. Worrying about the future
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Some people spend their whole lives worrying about the future, which keeps them from being present in the lives they're already living. High IQ people never waste their time worrying about things they can’t control, including what might happen in the future. With so many variables and potential possibilities, high IQ people know that they can’t predict what will happen, no matter how much time they spend thinking about it.
Worrying doesn't actually make hard things any easier to handle. As psychologist Nick Wignall revealed, “Worry gives you the illusion of certainty. But in the end, all it does is fragilize you.”
“Emotionally intelligent people understand that life is inherently uncertain,” he explained. “They understand that it’s better to face up to this reality clear-eyed than to live in denial about it.”
High IQ people understand that future tripping is pointless, because it creates a false sense of security. They know how to sit with uncertainty, because not knowing is part of being human.
3. Trying to be perfect
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High IQ people know that perfection isn't only the enemy of progress, it’s also a total lie. They never waste their time trying to get somewhere that’s impossible to reach. They set goals and work hard to achieve them, but they don’t delude themselves into thinking they have to be perfect.
According to Monica Ramunda, founder of Rocky Mountain Counseling Services, perfectionists never feel satisfied or worthy enough. When you’re a perfectionist, she said, “even your best could have been better. You struggle with seeing anything you produce as good enough and you hold yourself to unrealistic standards.”
“Perfectionism can rob you of your happiness and ability to enjoy success,” she explained, noting that having a “growth mindset can encourage you to embrace that you're constantly improving and growing.”
Ramunda illuminated something high IQ people already know, which is that making mistakes is part of becoming who you’re meant to be. Messing up is a valuable way to learn about what not to do, which allows you to understand the steps you need to take for success.
4. Saying ‘yes’ to everything
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High IQ people are masters of knowing how to meet their own needs. They know that setting clear boundaries is the key to effective time management, which is why they don’t waste their time saying “yes” every time someone else asks them to do something.
According to therapist Merle Yoste, always saying ‘yes’ isn’t an emotionally healthy way to live, no matter how much society emphasizes that saying ‘yes’ is the right thing to do. If you’re always bending over backwards to meet other people’s needs, you’ll never have time for yourself.
Yoste pointed out that people-pleasing “is deeply programmed into our socialization, and most people have enormous guilt and shame about saying no.”
“‘No’ is an essential boundary tied to self-care, productivity, and a happy life,” he concluded.
Ignoring your own energetic boundaries is a major waste of time. High IQ people protect their inner peace by saying “no” whenever they need to.
5. Mindless scrolling
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High IQ people make technology work for them, not the other way around. They don’t waste time on mindless scrolling just because it’s the easiest way to unwind. They understand that scrolling for scrolling’s sake is only a short-term distraction, and one that doesn’t actually make them feel any better.
Instead, high IQ people spend their free time focused on true self-care. They put their phones down and go touch grass, literally. They spend as much time as possible outside, because they know that fresh air and sunshine are good for the mind, body, and soul.
6. Holding grudges
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Holding a grudge is a sign of unresolved anger, and it’s not an effective way to handle hard feelings. All a grudge does is keep people stuck in the past, feeling miserable yet justified in their self-righteousness.
According to therapist Diane Barth, people who hold grudges aim “silent but unmistakable wrath” at anyone who’s ever slighted them in the past. Their grudge becomes their whole identity, and “that identity brings along with it a sense of being the one who is right.”
“Even if a grudge seems personal, it is not all about you,” she explained. “In the end, a grudge is more about the problems of the person holding it than about the person who is the target.”
High IQ people know that holding grudges doesn’t serve them in the long run, which is why they choose to release their discontent and move on with their lives.
7. Expecting people to change
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Expecting people to change before they’re ready is something high IQ people never waste their time on. They’re smart enough to accept one of life’s harder truths: people only change because they want to, not because you want them to. By meeting other people exactly where they’re at, high IQ people protect their hearts from constant disappointment.
According to Psychologist Robb Rutledge, managing expectations is the best way to manage your mood. “Expectations are really important for happiness,” he revealed.
If you have high expectations for someone you love to show up for you, but they’ve only been unreliable in the past, it will hurt more than if you had managed your expectations. But swinging to the opposite side of the spectrum and having low expectations isn’t healthy, either.
“If you have low expectations all of the time, you may not be motivated to try new things or take risks, because you don’t expect things to go well,” Rutledge explained. “It’s hard to grow as a person if you avoid any uncertain situation.”
8. Trying to control people’s emotions
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High IQ people know they can’t control how anyone else feels, so they don’t waste their time trying to control other people’s emotions. They understand that all they can control are their own emotions, actions, and reactions. As psychologist Nick Wignall pointed out, trying to fix another person’s feelings might be well-intentioned, but it never actually works, making it a waste of time.
“When someone we love is suffering, it’s natural to want to help them feel better. The problem is, when you treat someone’s feelings like problems, it’s invalidating,” he explained. “How your partner feels is ultimately their responsibility, not yours.”
“You can help them most by letting them know that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling instead of trying to fix it,” Wignall concluded.
9. Thinking they’re always right
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If there’s one thing that separates high IQ people from everyone else, it’s their ability to admit when they’re wrong. They never waste time by insisting they’re always right, because they have enough intellectual humility to understand how much they don’t know.
According to grief counselor Pamela Aloia, the belief that you’re always right will only push other people away. The only answer is to accept your own fallibility.
“When people start feeling like we’re emotionally toxic to them and have limited to no compassion for others or our surroundings, it may be time to do some internal review of our thoughts and behaviors,” she shared.
“Acceptance is realizing that sometimes we don't have all the facts, so we can't have all the answers, and we can't always be right,” Aloia explained. “Acceptance is being okay with that, which leads to finding compassion and humility in ourselves and others.”
10. Ignoring their feelings
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High IQ people don’t waste time ignoring their feelings, because they know that it will only make their pain last longer. It sounds counterintuitive, but accepting hard feelings is the only way to move through them. High IQ people let themselves feel. They have the psychological skillset to assess their feelings and assign a name to them. High IQ people don’t just take an intellectual approach to their emotions, they also feel their feelings in a more physical way.
According to psychologist Nick Wignall, “People with low emotional intelligence tend to avoid difficult emotions, which means that they lose touch with how those emotions feel in their bodies.”
“The willingness to feel your emotions is a hallmark of emotional intelligence,” he explained. “When you understand that emotions are not bad or dangerous no matter how painful they feel, you tend to accept them and learn to live with them.”
11. Liking people who don’t like them back
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One of life’s more painful truths is that no matter how much you like someone, you can’t make them feel the same way about you. High IQ people never waste their time on people who don’t like them back. They understand that love is infinite, but time is finite. High IQ people know that life is too short to waste time waiting for someone to return their attention.
They have a solid sense of self-worth, which means they don’t need other people’s approval to feel good about themselves. More than that, high IQ people have self-love. They like who they are. If someone doesn’t appreciate them, they have no problem moving on.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.