Man Says This Job Is The ‘Biggest Green Flag Of All Time’ For A Woman
Sometimes it’s the only job a woman can get.
paultarasenko | Shutterstock When it comes to dating, there seem to be more red flags in potential partners than actual single people looking for love. In fact, Pew Research Center data found that in 2023, a whopping 63% of men under 30 in the U.S. are single by choice. One man, however, thinks he has the solution and it's all about dating a woman with one particular profession.
A young professional named Christian took to TikTok to share some important information with other men his age looking for love but struggling. He insisted that they were looking in all the wrong places and that they should be actively pursuing women who work as nannies because it's the "biggest green flag of all time." Let's just say his reasoning got a bit of pushback.
A man urged singles to consider dating women who work as nannies because the job is the 'biggest green flag of all time.'
"I don't know what it is, but every time I meet a girl who's a nanny, she's the sweetest girl ever," Christian said. Here's the thing: It's totally plausible that a particular career trajectory could attract a particular personality. That makes sense. So does his reasoning that women who nanny are kind or, as he put it, "sweet."
And while he started off strong, his reasoning went a little haywire. "Instead of late nights out at the bar, she's going to bed so she can get up early and take care of kids all weekend. That's the most wholesome thing of all time." Yeah, you heard him right. All you non-nannying women who go out for a drink on Saturday nights are apparently not wholesome. And somehow, in Christian's mind, women should be in bed early so they can get up and tend to the children.
Christian didn't stop there. It seemed to only get worse. "A nanny has to be a sweet and nice girl because if they're mean to the kid, the kid's going to tell on them to the parents, and they're going to get fired." So now, Christian is nearly jumping out of his skin with the notion that women who nanny are so conditioned to be accommodating for fear of their jobs that they will literally put up with anything. Sigh...
Apparently, there's a cherry on top, according to Christian. "Nannies know how to take care of kids. They're basically moms in training." Please, Christian, stop talking. As a former nanny myself, let me explain where Christian went wrong.
Being a Nanny is more than just being a woman who loves children.
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Christian is right about one thing: nannies can be fired for being rude to the children or placing them in danger but there lies the problem with his statement. It assumes that all nannies love their jobs and the children they work for. For many women, being a nanny is the only job experience that they are exposed to at a young age. We start off by babysitting our younger siblings or neighborhood children for some pocket change and either grow to love it or loathe it.
Women who loathe being nannies don’t necessarily hate children, but it is entirely possible for a woman who is a professional nanny to not want children of her own. Nannies are unique in everything, from how they feel about their work and traditional family structures to their personalities.
For those who love it, it can be a fulfilling career with opportunities to expand on their skills, such as learning new languages, traveling, or even making a lifelong impact in children's lives. At the end of the day, however, being a nanny is a job like any other job. It is not a stepping stone to being a traditional wife or, as Christian called it, "moms in training."
Nannying is hard work that deserves more recognition and better pay structures.
Is there anything wrong with Christian wanting to find a partner that has the same ideals as he does about family and the future? Absolutely not. What's wrong with Christian's argument is he has a Hollywood notion that a woman who chooses to nanny is basically the modern-day Mary Poppins. A fictional character who is always sweet and accommodating. A woman who won't make a fuss and prefers going to bed early so she can take care of the kids.
In reality, nannies are overworked and underpaid in many instances. Lack of parental time management is one of the many obstacles that nannies must face while working. As a former nanny, I cannot count how many times a parent had told me that they would be home at a certain time only for them to be hours later than they said they were going to be.
Being a nanny is not being a mommy in training. Many might be surprised to learn that nannies often don’t have children of their own because in order to be an efficient nanny, one must be at the beck and call of their parental employer. Often nannies forego their own needs and personal schedules to accommodate the family they work for and end up wearing the hat of housekeeper, teacher, cook, and a surrogate parent all at once.
Perhaps Christian should try his hand at nannying for his next job. He might gain some insight. For now, he seems like a walking red flag, especially for any nannies looking for love.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.