Life Coach Explains Why It’s A Red Flag When A Man Is Attracted To Women With A Strong Work Ethic
Doing the bulk of the household tasks has nothing to do with work ethic.
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock When searching for a partner, a strong work ethic sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong. At least that's how one woman sees it.
Life coach Shawnda has a theory about men who value a woman's work ethic when evaluating romantic partners, and her reasoning holds water. She said lots of men prioritize hardworking women when dating, but their true motives are more sinister. They want women who will work a full-time job with the expectation they'll also take care of the house and everything else, as well.
A life coach explained why men who are attracted to hardworking women are red flags.
Shawnda began by stitching a clip from a reality dating show featuring a man describing what he is looking for in a partner. The women contestants were supplied with balloons that they popped when they heard something they perceived as a deal breaker.
When the man looking for love said he wanted a hardworking woman, two of the contestants popped their balloons, which confused him, but it was no surprise to Shawnda.
The life coach explained that when men say they want a partner with a strong work ethic, what they truly mean is they want a woman who works full-time and does all the homemaking as well.
"They want you to work a 9-to-5 and then come home and work a 6-10 in the household," Shawnda explained.
"They want your labor, but they want it for free."
She emphasized that having a strong work ethic is great, but finding a partner who won't take advantage of your standard is crucial.
You deserve a partner who wants you to rest, not work 24/7.
Many women in the comments recounted their experiences with men who wanted 'hardworking women.'
One woman said that a man she went out with once said he was an "alpha male with traditional values" but expected his spouse to work 40 hours a week while still taking care of him and the household.
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As Shawnda said, men believe that being a man is hard enough and will expect you to work a full-time job and be the sole person performing any domestic work.
"I will always be my own breadwinner, but I will never be with a man who wants a hardworking woman," another commenter noted.
Women need to be aware that men who do not want to divide work equitably, want their partner to pick up the slack.
Women are often exploited for the domestic work they perform.
Men expecting women to do everything is not a new phenomenon. Women have historically been forced to take charge of the house, and while society has pushed for equality in the workplace and for women to be career-oriented, the same emphasis hasn't been placed on housework.
Claire Cain Miller, a New York Times correspondent who writes about gender, family, and the future of work, said women in most opposite-sex relationships are doing a bulk of the domestic work, even if they have careers.
She reasoned that while men are happy to bring in another paycheck, they aren't as enthusiastic about picking up more work around the house.
Both spouses end up going to work for a similar amount of time, but women are expected to come home and manage the house.
Be hardworking for yourself, not a man.
It's great to have a strong work ethic; it will help you accomplish your goals and go far in life. However, be careful of men who want to use your responsibility to their advantage by making you work for a paycheck and work for them.
You deserve to be with someone who prioritizes your well-being, not someone who will work you to burnout. No woman should ever settle for the outdated notion that they are responsible for all the domestic work and emotional labor attached to running a house and family. A relationship is a partnership, after all.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.