People Who Hate Celebrating Their Own Birthdays Are Often Trying To Overcome These 5 Sad Realities
It's your birthday and you can cry if you want to!
Grustock | Shutterstock Your birthday is an entire day dedicated to celebrating your very existence, so it should be one of your favorite days of the year, right? That's true for some people, however, many individuals dread the day. According to data from YouGov, 11% of Americans dislike or hate their birthdays.
If you anticipate your birthday with bated breath, dreaming about cake, presents, and partying with loved ones, it may be difficult to understand why someone wouldn't. But most people who hate celebrating their birthdays have valid reasons why.
People who hate their birthdays are often trying to overcome these 5 sad realities:
1. They had a traumatic upbringing.
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Whether it was parents who made them feel like a burden or a narcissistic relative who took over the day, some people have bad memories tied to their birthdays. Maybe their father always had to work, or perhaps their mother attempted to make the day all about herself. If their birthdays were ignored, it can leave a wound that is still raw years later.
Some people reject celebrating their birthday to avoid disappointment, like they felt during their childhood. Others learned from their traumatic upbringing that they were not worthy of celebration, and still hold onto that false mindset in adulthood.
2. They lack a supportive friend group.
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On someone’s birthday, we typically see social media posts dedicated to them from their friends, featuring pictures of beloved memories and long paragraphs gushing about how loved they are.
But according to available data, roughly 20 to 25% of people do not have friends to celebrate their birthday with. For them, this day can quickly become a painful reminder of what they don’t have. So, rather than invite people to celebrate, they may pretend they don't care, attempting to protect themselves from disappointment.
3. Being the center of attention makes them feel uneasy.
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Your birthday is all about you. While some people bask in the attention, others feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed when all eyes are on them. The celebrations, gifts, and public acknowledgement that come with birthdays can create pressure to perform or react in a certain way.
What exactly are you supposed to do when everyone is singing "Happy Birthday" at you? And what if you don't give the expected reaction when opening a present?
There are a variety of reasons why people don't want attention, and it is not because they are ungrateful. They may have cripingly social anxiety, or perhaps they were publicly embarrassed in the past. They may just prefer quiet and intimate celebrations with those they are closest to.
4. The day brings up feelings of grief or loss.
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When some people look around at those singing to them on their birthday, all they see is the one familiar face who is no longer here. Maybe their grandma, who passed away last year, was always the first one to call them on their birthday, and now the day is just a painful reminder of their loss.
For many, the day triggers feelings of grief for people and memories that cannot be replaced. It may even feel like a betrayal to celebrate without loved ones who have passed away.
5. They fear aging.
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To some, a birthday is just a reminder that they are another year older. This could mean another year of feeling like they accomplished nothing, another year of working the same crappy job, or another year closer to the end of their life. It is a day where people tend to reflect on their mortality and just how quickly time passes.
Others have fears surrounding aging in general, especially women who have been conditioned by society to view youth as the ideal.
Having complex feelings about your birthday is nothing you need to apologize for. The day brings on different emotions for everyone. Your feelings are valid, and you can cry if you want to!
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.
