9 Signs Of A Genuinely Fascinating Person, According To Psychology
Being a fascinating person is both inherent and learned.
RDNE Stock project | Pexels I’ve spent most of my life a bit of an outsider. But I’ve always been interested in people and what makes them tick. This drove me to understand better how to connect better with people. I’ve learned how certain people draw others in and fascinate others, whether in person or through their writing.
People quickly make snap judgments about us, for better or worse, which either strengthens or weakens our connections. A little extra awareness will change your life. Over the years, I've gathered a list of what behaviors people find most fascinating. Absorb the following ideas and let them become habits — over time, you may find them to profoundly impact your relationships.
Here are nine signs of a genuinely fascinating person:
1. They never take things personally
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It’s more common than not to harbor little insecurities that show up through behavior. Getting annoyed or going silent are examples. If you can breathe through these moments of inner frustration and remain upbeat regardless, you will gather an aura of respect.
Psychological research published in 2020 focuses heavily on the idea that our self-esteem and perception of others' intentions play a crucial role in how much we internalize comments or actions as explicitly directed at us. People with lower self-esteem tend to take things more personally while understanding the context of a situation, and considering the other person's perspective can help mitigate this tendency.
2. They're selectively silent
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When Nathan can’t stop talking, you stand out by being completely at ease with your pauses and moments of extended silence. People start internally asking questions.
Research on selective silence primarily focuses on selective mutism, a condition where individuals, usually children, choose to remain silent in specific social situations while speaking typically in others, often driven by anxiety or fear of speaking in particular settings. A 2021 study published by Psychology Research and Behavior Management explained that this silence is a coping mechanism to avoid distress.
3. They have impressive wit
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Fascinating people are no strangers to wit and a cheeky bit of humor. Pulling off a joke without making someone want to run out of the room in a rage takes skill. Be funny, but don’t base your personality on it.
4. They assume intelligence in other people
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If you need to explain everything to me like I’m a dribble-faced toddler at summer camp, it makes me feel dumb. Fascinating people have a knack for making the people around them feel bright. They leave with a skip in their step.
Research published by PLoS One on assuming intelligence in others often focuses on the concept of implicit theories of intelligence, which explores how people perceive and judge others' intelligence based on their beliefs about whether intelligence is fixed or malleable, and how these perceptions influence interactions and behaviors. Studies have also investigated factors like facial features and social cues that might contribute to initial assessments of someone's intelligence.
5. They get to the heart of what makes others great
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When people make me realize my genius, they can be sure I won’t stop thinking about them. If you can help someone figure out something about themselves they hadn’t realized, you’ll have them hooked.
Research published by the British Psychological Society suggests that what makes someone "great" often boils down to a combination of factors, including solid empathy and compassion, a genuine desire to help others, a sense of purpose, resilience in the face of challenges, strong social skills, positive self-esteem, and a willingness to learn and grow continuously. Studies often highlight the positive impact of acts of kindness and prosocial behavior on personal well-being and social connection.
6. They're willing to walk away
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Fascinating people are not barnacles. They have places to be and missions to pursue. Part of the allure of these people is how unclingy they are.
They may not explicitly say it, but they give off the vibe that they wouldn’t cry should they never see you again (Sorry, Sally).
Research published by Social Psychological and Personality Science focuses on factors like attachment styles, decision-making biases, the concept of "sunk costs," and the ability to identify when a situation is no longer beneficial, highlighting that sometimes leaving a problem can be the best choice for personal well-being, even if it feels challenging to do so. Studies often explore how individuals can shift their focus from potential losses to potential gains when deciding to walk away from something.
7. They have secret talents
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Have you ever found yourself nattering away with someone, and out of nowhere, they reveal an obscure passion or strange array of knowledge bites?
You had no idea they knew all the various breeds of iguana, but you’d never thought to ask. Questions arise. What other secrets could they be harboring?
8. They are non-status-quo thinkers
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People are drawn to things that stand out. Those who hold conformity dear to their hearts may find they are quickly forgotten.
Fascinating people challenge assumptions and often come up with counterintuitive ideas. Their suggestions stick in the mind like a bear hair on honey.
Research published by the Journal of Social and Political Psychology primarily focused on understanding the factors that drive individuals to actively challenge the existing system or preferred state, often exploring traits like high openness to experience, cognitive flexibility, low need for closure, and a propensity to seek out novel information, contrasting them with the more common status quo bias where people tend to favor maintaining the current situation.
9. They are uncommonly calm under pressure
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People are drawn to those who maintain composure when most would pee their pants. It’s a rare thing. But it’s also something you can practice.
Research published in 2022 primarily focuses on the concept of "cognitive control" and "emotional regulation," exploring how individuals can manage their thoughts and emotions in high-stress situations, often through techniques like mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and positive self-talk, which can help maintain focus and performance under pressure.
Studies frequently examine the role of personality traits, coping mechanisms, and situational factors in determining how well someone can handle stress and perform optimally in demanding environments.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.