I've Had 17 Men Propose Marriage To Me, Here's My Recipe For Love & Attraction
How to switch your green light to ON.
Gorodenkoff via Shutterstock In 1982, famous psychic Frederick Davies read my future and said that I would receive five marriage proposals that summer. How was that possible? Turns out, he was right. Through combination of my decades of effort and physical appeal that I call “being the highest common denominator!” I attracted more men than I could've imagined — and you can do it, too.
If you haven’t yet found the man you want to stay with throughout your life, here is my secret recipe that works every time. These tools provide the transformation for your love life from a frustrating and disappointing struggle to a great proposal.
How I got 17 men to propose to me (and you can, too)
1. Turn your green light to 'on'
Liz Taylor and Lana Turner were each married 7 times. What did they possess that made them unique?
They both had millions of men mooning around for decades who would have jumped at the chance to marry them if there had been a green light. Now, you need to learn to set your green light to “ON” but focus it on the specific man or type of man you desire.
2. Show yourself to your best advantage
Most women make half an effort, but those winning the marriage lottery work harder and look so much better every day they leave home or attend a Zoom.
3. Like the Scouts, “be prepared”
Clients who tell me it’s too much trouble to look good, fit into the best-sized clothes for you, and have great energy when they leave home are missing the ROI return on investment. One man who proposed to me followed me down an aisle at Bloomingdales in NYC, a huge cliché at the time. He loved my French braid.
Another found me poolside at my hotel in a white bikini. A would-be candidate picked me up at the grocery store even though I had baby food jars in my cart. They were for my cats, but he didn’t care, he had a “type,” and my cashmere sweater and pearls “spoke” his language.
4. Decide who you want and do everything required to succeed
Refusing to upgrade your façade and your insides, too, wastes time. I once lost 20 pounds before meeting a former lover so that the event wouldn’t fizzle under his intense visual scrutiny. Six years and 500 letters later, it was a wise investment for me.
5. Think like a judge at the AKC, judging Best in Breed
There are so many types of men, from tech nerds to super jocks and everything in between. The first step is to understand which type best describes you and then what general type you want for your husband.
6. No one provides everything, so prioritize by separating your 'wants' from your 'needs'
I have dated brilliant entrepreneurs, billionaires, sweet spiritual men, movie stars, doctors, and many other types. Experiencing Unconditional Love is key to me, feeling it, giving it to my partner, and receiving it from him.
Once I realize that Unconditional Love is impossible, my interest has waned, but if you’re transactional, don’t be embarrassed; billions of men are as well. You only need to pick the best one for you.
7. Set a time limit on a relationship that isn’t progressing
Originally, I spent 4 years in a promising relationship to decide if it was Yes or No. After learning what I didn’t want, I limited it to two years and finally to one year before making my decision to stay and marry or to go. The one thing that is not unlimited in your life is time, so use it wisely.
8. Develop your ability to be a powerful manifester
Whether you need to learn self-soothing or focus, intention, and manifesting, all of this is key to having the life you desire, including receiving proposals.
How a few of my marriage proposals happened:
1. Husband #1
My mother urged me to avoid marriage until I was 25 to prevent outgrowing a starter husband. When I was 25, I went to my best friend’s for dinner, and two guys were there. I was supposed to be fixed up with one, but later I learned that B. had said, “She’s mine, hands off!”.
He knew immediately, and I gave him the “7 Labors of Hercules” to qualify, including giving up cigarettes and losing weight, and he made every change. I started a company for us, so marriage was a logical, unromantic decision, though long business trips brought another proposal as I fell in love and ended my marriage.
2. Not Marriage Material
I had avoided going to the hotel pool for 3 weeks until karma called. The factory couldn’t see me the afternoon, and letters from my mother and husband arrived urging me to take some time to enjoy myself. The magical oasis of the hotel pool became diffused with bright light as N. walked through the mosaic arch.
Time stopped, and a new chapter began that had more mutuality. But he sought a wife to sit in Canada, and I declined. Eventually, I learned of a Canadian woman who happily waited for and on him, and I advised him to marry her, and they have five children.
3. One Glorious Summer with five proposals
Frederick Davies shocked me by saying that I would receive five marriage proposals within two months. I told him I had a boyfriend, “Not him!” Frederick said. This was a loud wake-up call, and I pivoted.
4. I dated a wonderful and brilliant attorney
He was crazy about me, but his complicated life was a non-starter for me, and I declined his lovely proposal and have remained a dear friend ever since.
5. At a spiritual event, a nice-looking dentist asked me to dinner
We arrived at the restaurant, and the waiter took our drink order, two white wines. My date had an intent look on his face, held the glass, and stood up.
No, please don’t”, I said.
Affronted by my blocking behavior, he said, “You have NO idea what I’m going to do.”
“Yes, I do,” I said sweetly to avoid an argument.
“I was going to propose to you!” he exclaimed.
“Yes, thank you, please don’t. We’ve just met.” I said, making as light of it as possible. I met him for brunch the next day to give him another chance to WOW me but sent him home after a brief lackluster kiss to “qualify the candidate,” knowing he didn’t qualify at all.
6. 'I want to take you to dinner at our place'
A blast from the past said. We had dated for a summer some years before, and I couldn’t even recall a restaurant we frequented. His limo picked me up, and as we sat at the bar, I knew what was coming.
Before he got there, I said, “I recall you were dating a nice woman, I hope it’s been going well.” He looked shocked, and being one of my most brilliant friends, he said, “Hmmm,” and smiled and said calmly, “This proposal isn’t going well,” and we both laughed.
“You once said that marriage is like a virus that hits men every 5 years. Since you have it, why not propose to the woman you’ve been dating?” and he did.
7. I went on a first date with a textile manufacturer
He was successful with a great attitude, and as he parked in front of my coop after dinner back in the days when a new date could know where you lived, he asked, “You seem a little sad. Is everything okay?” I told him that the next day, I was starting a design project that I was dreading.
“Why don’t we fly to Las Vegas right now and get married instead?” He was generous and kind, and although I didn’t feel the chemistry that could have kept me in a marriage, I so appreciated that exciting proposal.
8. I received a call from a beautiful, charismatic friend who had moved to California
He had couch-surfed with me for a few months when he arrived from Scotland, and we had been friends with benefits on rare occasions. He liked very passive women who needed to be rescued, so I never considered more than friendship.
He described his ended relationship and new baby. But I was speechless when he said, as direct as always, “I’m calling to propose to you.” How I longed to ask, “Propose what?” I replied calmly, “I’m flattered, D., but I know that you’ve just had a difficult experience, and I know that you will find yourself.”
Ten years later, I was standing in line at an ashram in upstate New York with a woman friend who was complaining that there were no attractive men there. I looked around and, laughing, pointed to a man eight places ahead of us, “Do you think he’s handsome?” “Yes, he’s gorgeous.” “He proposed to me, and I declined.” I said, “Let me introduce you.”
9. A fabulous ex-boyfriend who demonstrated the magic of meditation to me in New Delhi
He appeared in NYC after more than a year and suddenly proposed. I had already moved on, so for the second time, our timing was off, and we remained friends.
10. After a twelve-year hiatus with a beloved former partner, we began again, and one of my goals was to finally have him propose to me
He was the most discerning man who demanded sophistication, beauty, intellect, humor, business or financial success, and great physical attraction. I feel exhausted when I think about him today, but he brought out the very best in me in every area.
Finally, on New Year’s Eve, after 2 years of bicoastal visits and Southampton and Parisian holidays, he popped the question, and I jumped at it. He had the flu, and later that night, he slid off his chair with a high fever as we watched the fireworks over the Hollywood sign, but the proposal was intact. Thankfully, his earlier bad boy behaviors resurfaced, and I said, “I Don’t”
In case you doubt the truth of these stories, please know they are 100% true.
What’s your takeaway if you are serious about getting married ASAP?
In a world where many people evaluate others as “Friend or Foe,” be sure you’re behavior always spells Friend.
- Always be kind and stay friends if they are kind, too. Find out who they know!
- When I suggested to two of these men who they could marry instead of me, it came from my love for them as friends, and men truly appreciate a woman’s encouragement.
- Get back on the horse, but heal yourself first if the break-up was painful. Self-soothing skills are the key to your health, sanity, and physical appeal. So many people languish in bitterness and terror, so heal and focus on your goal of marriage by dating.
- It isn’t over ‘til it’s over. Three of my proposals were from men who ended relationships with me. I didn’t take it personally because I knew they weren’t my future husbands, and they were each fascinating men with so many attributes.
If getting yourself into the Proposal Zone is your next project, you can do this! Men often want a woman who is desired by others. When a woman friend told a man about my proposals, he looked me up and down, gazed into my eyes, and asked, “Do I have a chance? Let’s do it!”
These are some of my examples, and now it’s time for you to decide who you want, where you will find him, and how you will captivate him. As #9 had always said to me during our 12-year friendship during the dating hiatus, “A woman needs to become irresistible. And undeniable,” I had studied him, I knew exactly what to do and how to do it, and that is why he finally proposed.
When you want a man to love you and propose marriage to you, follow the instructions of world-renowned biologist Carl Shuster, Ph.D., describing the best way to learn about horseshoe crabs, his focus, “Study the animal.” I do, and so must you.
Susan Allan is a Life Coach whose Evolution Revolution Trainings offer proven tools to experience joy, and happiness and let go of suffering.