Man Feels Trapped In His Bedroom By Roommate Who Eats & Sleeps In Their Living Space Despite Having His Own Room
“I can’t exist in my apartment without noise canceling headphones.”
Pixel Shot | CanvaPro Roommate horror stories are a dime a dozen. Who hasn't had a roommate who never does chores, invites over their crusty boyfriend every night of the week, and stays up until the early morning hours watching a YouTube video at full volume?
In all fairness, everyone’s lifestyles are different, and people make themselves comfortable at home in a variety of ways, but having an understanding with your roommate that you can both live with should be a priority.
It’s the dilemma one Reddit man has run into with his own roommate, who spends “100% of his time” in their shared living room despite paying only a fraction of their total rent.
A man said he felt ‘trapped’ in his own bedroom by his roommate, who eats and sleeps in their shared living space every day.
“The only time he's not in the living room is when he is at work from 8 to 4 on weekdays, but I'm also at work during the same hours,” he wrote in his post to Reddit. “The rent for our 2 bed 1 bath is $1,650. I pay $1,050, he pays $600. My bedroom is twice as big.”
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“It is so annoying that I have to listen to his noise pollution in my bedroom 24/7. I've told him multiple times to use headphones or turn the volume down, he responds with ‘I don't want to use headphones, I use them at work’ I just want to live in peace.”
At this point, he’s concerned about his own sanity, being forced to spend all his free time in his bedroom. Desperate for advice, he asked Reddit what his next move should be.
Despite having his own room, the man's roommate spends all his time in their shared spaces.
It’s possible to feel many emotions at the same time, especially around someone that you’re living with — and let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.
“Residing in close proximity with a handful of [people] rarely makes for a problem-free living environment, but the frustration that builds up in these living situations hinders us from living a healthy life and forming positive relationships,“ author Diti Kohli with The Berkeley Beacon wrote. “You can’t continue to keep living anxiously in your own space.”
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“Am I being unreasonable here if I ask him to wear headphones while watching TV? He also works on his laptop, plays video games on his devices and video calls with his girlfriend 60% of the time,” the poster wrote.
“I pay most of the rent and yet he has the entire apartment to himself.”
It’s clear that something has to change in this household whether it’s a conversation about shared spaces or a renegotiation of their rent.
Commenters urged the man to have an open discussion with his roommate, setting up a clear plan for using the room.
“Common areas are common areas, there’s no way to police them,” one commenter wrote. “But you can have a conversation. Consider that he doesn’t even realize it’s upsetting you … and make time to use the space after work for hobbies, lounging, etc.”
While teenage life coach Erica Rood on TikTok typically uses her platform to help support conflict between college roommates living in shared spaces together for the first time, her advice is applicable to roommates of all ages.
“You have to have a conversation, not a confrontation. Express how you feel and what you need,” she explained. “You can admit that it’s going to be uncomfortable or awkward … but it makes space for you to say how you feel with clarity and an open mind.”
At the end of the day, nobody knows what anyone else is thinking unless they have an open conversation about it. It’s possible his roommate wants to spend time together and that’s why he’s always in the shared spaces. Or, perhaps, he hasn’t been able to get comfortable in his personal space, so he resorts to de-stressing in the living room.
Don’t start off a conversation, especially with someone you live with, on the wrong foot.
Express what you want and need, set a schedule if applicable, and be honest. Spare them the passive-aggressive comments, texts, and resentment.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.