New Mom Furious With Her Husband After He Forced Her To Have A Home Birth — 'I Cried The Whole Time'
“It was horrible, and it was entirely his fault.”
Jelena Stanojkovic | Shutterstock Giving birth is obviously no easy feat. There’s a reason why it is talked about in almost reverent tones. Anyone who has been through pregnancy and labor knows it is a different kind of pain.
Because of this, you would expect the person in labor to be given total control over the situation — whatever they want for themselves goes. Unfortunately, that was not the case for one new mom when she gave birth.
The woman’s husband forced her to have a home birth against her wishes.
The anonymous woman took to Reddit to share her disturbing birth story.
“When I got pregnant with my daughter, my husband started immediately telling me that I should have a home birth,” she wrote. “I really do not know why he was so adamant on it, but he was.”
Her husband started pressuring her about having a home birth from the early stages of her pregnancy.
She didn’t think it was a big deal at first, especially because she was so early in her pregnancy.
“At first, I brushed him off and told him I would think about it because I was only six weeks pregnant, and the birth seemed so far off,” she admitted.
“Of course, it came quickly, and my husband would literally speak over me at doctors’ appointments when my doctor would ask if I had a birth plan,” she continued. “This caused a few arguments between us in those 39 weeks of pregnancy, but I never really changed my mind.”
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“I ended up telling my husband that I would take myself to the hospital when it was time and that I did not want a home birth,” she recounted. “He acted as if he didn’t hear me. We met with a doula who was also very pushy. I felt overwhelmed and not supported at all. I was 36 weeks at that point.”
When the woman went into labor, nothing went how she wanted it to.
“When I went into labor, I was 39 weeks, and I begged, absolutely begged, my husband to take me to the hospital where my doctor is,” she said. “He wouldn’t. He spoke to me condescendingly and called the doula instead. I was in labor for about three days, active labor for the last 22 hours.”
“I cried the whole time,” she recalled. “I just felt something was wrong. I was scared and oftentimes they left me alone … When she was finally out, I don’t even remember wanting to hold her. I just remember crying out of relief.”
She continued, “Obviously, I am OK now, but I did not have a good experience. On my first appointment after birth with my doctor, she was very shocked I had the baby. She was concerned. I was so upset.”
Now, eight weeks later, the woman is still haunted by her experience.
Human rights exist during labor, just like at any other time.
According to WebMD, moms who are in labor have both legal rights and birthrights, or human rights. One of those human rights is “the right to autonomy.”
“You have the right to choose where to labor and give birth and leave the hospital or birth center against medical advice,” they explained.
Pregnancy Justice U.S. also provided information about what you can do after birth if your rights are violated. They recommend submitting feedback to appropriate entities and potentially filing a lawsuit.
Unfortunately, these avenues are often slow to show results. Several Redditors recommended that the woman seriously consider taking her daughter and getting as far away from her husband as possible.
Ultimately, he violated her rights and essentially held her against her will.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.