7 Cheat Codes That Give You An Unfair Upper Hand In Life, According To Psychology
Gain an unfair life advantage with these extremely effective shortcuts.
Mariya Tarakhnenko | Unsplash Over the years, other people have brought me pain and joy in about equal measure. Though I’m grateful for what I’ve learned through my struggles, there’s a lot of pain I’d prefer to have avoided.
Here are 7 cheat codes that give you an unfair upper hand in life, according to psychology:
1. Understand that compatibility is a myth
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You don’t have better relationships when you’re more compatible. Thinking you need to be compatible creates tension because your relationship is now based on conditions. Welcome difference. Be open to new ideas. Allow others to be a source of growth for you.
A study from the European Review of Social Psychology emphasizes intergroup contact's role in reducing personal prejudice and bias. Having variety in friend groups also helps people avoid the "false consensus effect," a fallacy where people assume that everyone's reality is like theirs.
Diverse friendships are enriching and exciting, helping you gain more enjoyable experiences. Making a conscious effort to create more varied connections can help expand not only our social circle but our worldview as well.
2. Realize that people are far more self-conscious than you think
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Your attention is on you and trying to look cool. But that’s precisely what Nervous Nathan over there is thinking, too.
You don’t need to worry about what others think because they don’t care about you as much as you believe. Relax.
3. Nurture relationships with people on agreements, not expectations
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When we expect things, we inevitably get annoyed when those expectations are unmet. This is why divorce happens following a steady build of needless resentments. When we make a handshake agreement with someone, we both work to meet the agreement, and harmony will ensue.
While positive relationships can boost health, the opposite is often true regarding problematic relationships. Chronic emotional stress may put you at higher risk for several health problems. A study published in 2021 from the Journal of the American Heart Association, for example, found that women who reported having high levels of social strain were more likely to have a heart attack or die of cardiovascular disease during nearly 15 years of follow-up than women who did not.
4. Judge less, observe more
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When we judge people negatively, often on limited information, we literally create a monster. What do we do with monsters? We fear them. We hate them. We want to be free of them.
Judge less and observe people more. See people for who they are in the light of truth. This will bring you peace.
5. Embrace your quirks
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I’ve spent most of my life fearing what others thought of me. I’m a quirky dude. I think and say weird shit. So, I often kept it in. This made me depressed as all hell. When I started saying weird stuff and owning it, color returned to my reality, and I began to attract real people.
Studies from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology show that we consistently overestimate how much and badly others think about our failings. An unfortunate consequence of this is that we are far more inhibited and far less spontaneous and joyful than we could be.
6. Stand tall in the face of criticism
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Self-worth is a mind-made concept. Because the illusion you have of ‘you’ is made up, you can’t possibly lose ‘you.’ Other people can’t diminish you. This will help you stand tall in the face of criticism.
According to the American Psychological Association, your self-worth is your evaluation of yourself as a capable and valuable human deserving of consideration and respect. It is an internal sense of being worthy of love. A 2017 National Library of Medicine study states that positive self-worth is associated with greater well-being and life satisfaction.
7. Focus less on yourself
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To lift yourself, lift others. To feel better, stop trying to fix yourself. It’s a wild goose chase that will leave you hurting more. Dedicate your life to supporting your tribe. This will maintain a high spirit in you and change your life.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.