8 Questions That Provide Immediate Clarity If You Can't Make A Decision, According To Psychology
Return to the root of what matters most.
vkstudio | Canva Feeling aimless has taken up a considerable chunk of my experience. I’ve gone around in circles, wasted time, created unnecessary stress, and overthought. When I got into coaching and committed to mastering this skill, I learned the power of focused inquiry. I often ask my clients these questions, and their lives change.
Here are 8 questions that provide immediate clarity if you can't make a decision, according to psychology:
1. How do I want to be remembered?
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This makes us aware of what’s truly important to us in our lives beyond the superficial. This takes us out of survival mode and into what impact we’d love to make — one greater than ourselves.
2. What is the problem I wake up to every morning?
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It’s amazing how creative we can all be in avoiding the stressful things that continue to show up. What are you tolerating that you need to deal with?
In a 2016 Journal of Personality and Individual Differences study, researchers found that coping skills are usually discussed as a reactive strategy: When you feel bad, you do something to cope. However, research shows that proactive coping strategies can effectively manage the future obstacles you’re likely to face.
3. What things, places, habits, and people fill me with energy?
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You can be sure these things are worth doing more of. Understanding how we use energy is vital in considering what should matter to you.
Findings from a 2020 study from the Journal of Humanistic Psychology indicate that the discovery of meaning is, for many participants, an ongoing process that remains present also in the creation of meaning, that is, in the dimension of purpose. The finding of letting go as an essential precondition to experience meaning also falls into place here, as choosing the future entails openness instead of control and preexistent comprehension.
4. What would I want if I knew I couldn’t fail?
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We often block ourselves psychologically from committing to something because we fear failure. With failure no longer part of the equation, determining what’s important to us becomes clear.
The findings from a 2024 study from the European Journal of Psychology of Education support the mediating role of emotion regulation difficulties in the relationship between fear of failure, procrastination, and academic satisfaction. The results support the assumption that students who are afraid of failure do not exhibit procrastination behaviors directly, but they exhibit procrastination behaviors because they cannot regulate their fear.
5. What does my heart long for?
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Reflect on this for a while. You might be surprised at what you find when you open up a channel between your imagination and your soul.
A 2016 National Library of Medicine study explains situational self-awareness is an automatic process by which we compare our current actions to our internalized standards, making changes where necessary to reduce inconsistency. Dispositional self-awareness, in contrast, is the trait-like tendency for an individual to focus on and reflect on their psychological processes, inner experiences, and relationships with others.
6. When were some times I felt most alive?
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What were you doing? How could you bring more of this kind of thing into your life? An alive life is the only kind worth living, is it not?
7. What isn’t working for me in my life right now?
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We can go an entire lifetime turning our attention away from those things that drain us or conflict with our joy. Get honest with yourself, and call them out. Realize you have one life. Commit to changing what isn’t working to live your best life.
Research from the Americal Psychological Association reminds us that making lifestyle changes is not a solo journey. It takes time, commitment, and most importantly, support. When you’re ready to make a change, reach out to friends, family, or a professional for guidance. Do your research, make a plan, and know that you're not alone in this.
8. What would you do if you knew you had a year to live?
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How much time we perceive we have left can have a surprising effect on what we do with our time. When a real constraint is brought in, we might be surprised by how our priorities change.
Results from a 2021 study from the National Library of Medicine suggest that older adults show more performance-based prioritization than younger adults when faced with conflicting goals. This aligns with theoretical notions expecting a higher behavioral selectivity in older adults and empirical findings demonstrating this selectivity in ecologically valid studies.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.