The ‘Quiet Mom Era’ Is Here— More Mothers Than Ever Are Trading Drama & People Pleasing For Quality Time With Their Kids
Take a step back and lean into calm.
Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels Raising kids is a full-contact sport, complete with victories, losses, stress injuries, and water breaks.
Adding social media to the mix means that people have more insight than ever before into other family’s lives. Sometimes, that access can be affirming, like when you see another mom struggling with the same issues you do. Yet, seeing how other families function can also make you feel like you’re not doing enough or that other people are perfect while you’re trying to make it through a day in one piece.
Now, some parents are taking themselves out of that comparison loop so they can focus on their families in a movement they have dubbed the "Quiet Mom Era."
The ‘Quiet Mom Era’ has arrived, and more mothers than ever before are trading drama for quality time.
Moms have declared the dawning of a new movement, one that relies less on outside validation and more on finding the calm within.
The internet is often an echo chamber, yet there are certain ideas that capture the mood of the moment in a way that resonates deeply, and the Quiet Mom Era is having its moment.
One of the many MomTok posts on the subject introduces the topic by saying, “In my Quiet Mom Era,” before describing exactly what that era entails.
“I don’t care about your drama,” the post continued. “I don’t care about having a big group of friends, and I definitely don’t care if you like me or not. I don’t care about people-pleasing anyone anymore.”
“This chapter is personal. It’s about my family, my kid, and our happiness. If you don’t add to that, you are pointless to me,” the post concluded.
Letting go of what no longer serves you is a powerful way to reimagine the path your life may take.
It’s always valuable to assess what holds value and live according to those ideals.
William Fortunato / Pexels
Cultivating a nourished life will look different for everyone, which is why it’s so important to shed expectations that center around anyone but yourself and the people you love most.
People pleasing can be a deeply ingrained habit, yet there are actionable ways to dismantle that mindset so you can focus on what makes you feel fulfilled.
Another mom expanded on what the Quiet Mom Era means to her, saying, “This season of my life is about making memories with my baby and protecting our happiness and peace.”
In a slightly different take, a third mom explained that she’s prioritizing “Consistency and peace.”
“Not begging anyone to sit at our table,” she concluded.
The Quiet Mom Era is a sharp turn away from living for other people.
Yet another mom shared the mentality she adopted during her own Quiet Mom era, saying, “Don’t like the way I parent? Not my problem.”
“Don’t like how I spend my money? You don’t pay my bills,” she said. “Don’t like who I am dating? Good thing me and the kids do.”
Her level of self-assurance shows the freedom that comes from accepting your life for what it is and loving yourself wholly.
Barbara Olsen / Pexels
There’s an interesting social element to the fact that the Quiet Mom Era is rippling across TikTok, a forum where people act as witnesses to others’ lived experiences.
It raises a very specific question: Does announcing you’re in your Quiet Mom Era negate actually being in your Quiet Mom Era?
In theory, a person could just live as they want without telling anyone else about it, but that’s not how social movements spread. As PsychCentral noted, sometimes simply being a "soothing presence" is enough to remove yourself and others from the infinite drama loop that lives on the screens of keyboard warriors and online bullies.
In a world where women’s actions are measured and judged against an impossible standard, the Quiet Mom Era releases some of the pressures of having to be a perfect parent.
May we all feel free enough to stand up and declare ourselves firmly in our Quiet Mom Era because not caring what others think is a radical act of self-compassion.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.