How To Finally Stop Caring About What Other People Think, According To The 'People Displeaser'
Freedom comes from letting go.
thepeopledispleaser / TikTok A man who calls himself the “People Displeaser” on TikTok describes his mission in his bio, proclaiming, “Get confident and live free.” He has over 2,000 followers on the social media platform, where he shares guidance on how to stop the pattern of people-pleasing.
According to the ‘People Displeaser,’ there’s one simple way to finally stop caring what other people think.
He introduced his video by exclaiming, “If you really want to stop giving a s–t about what other people think, this is the video you’ve been asking me for.”
He clarified that in order to stop caring what other people think, you first have to shift the narrative you have about whether or not you’re a good person. As he explained, “It’s not really about whether you care [or] whether you don’t. You’re a human, and likely a good one and good humans don’t often love hurting other people’s feelings or making them upset.”
He acknowledged that it’s part of human nature to want to nurture other people and to avoid causing harm when you can. He then described how that way of thinking is easily twisted, into prioritizing other people’s opinions over what makes you feel fulfilled. As the People Displeaser proclaimed, “The problem occurs when you start making decisions based on that information, when you universally steer away from anything that makes anyone else uncomfortable or unhappy.”
He offered an example from his own lived experience, saying, “My mom lives 1,000 miles away and she is not quiet about how she feels about it. If I made decisions based on what she felt, I would have moved home a long time ago and ended up pretty resentful.”
An essential part of not caring what other people think is to recognize that other people’s feelings are neither your responsibility nor a permanently fixed thing.
As he explained, “I had a realization a long time ago that other people’s feelings are both not my responsibility, and they’re not permanent.”
The People Displeaser continued on, offering illuminating guidance on what actually is within our realm of responsibility, and what we owe ourselves in order to live in a way that makes us feel fulfilled. He said, “What is my job, is to develop a life that I feel is meaningful, and to do that, I can’t do what everybody else wants me to do, but mostly, you have to remember that nobody’s making their decisions based on what you want.”
There’s a balance that exists between prioritizing your own needs and acting in ways that don’t actively harm others.
People-pleasing is a pattern of behavior that prioritizes everyone else's needs above your own, which isn't a healthy way to live. What this advice makes clear is that there’s inherent value in living your life for yourself, instead of trying to make everyone else happy. By fully internalizing the knowledge that no one is responsible for managing anyone else’s emotional world, the path to self-acceptance becomes clear.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers mental health, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.