Mom Admits She Misses Her 'Old Life' & 'Regrets' Having A Kid — 'I Let My Husband Talk Me Into It'
She's been yearning for the person she was before becoming a mother and fears that she won't ever get her back.
ErsinTekkol | Shutterstock A new mom shared a rather candid confession about the trials and tribulations she's faced after welcoming her daughter with her husband.
Posting to an online advice forum called "What To Expect," this unnamed mom admitted that she was seeking advice and support from other parents about the realities of trying to return to who she was before she became a mother.
She admitted that she misses her 'old life' and 'regrets' having a child.
In her post, she explained that she was seeking out advice because she felt shameful discussing this with the people in her life and would never want her daughter to feel as if she were unwanted. She insisted that she loves her daughter more than anything but deeply regrets having a child.
"I never wanted kids, but after I met my husband, he wanted them, and I let him and society in general talk me into it. Guess who's life changed and [whose] didn't? I miss my old life; I get so bored at home looking after a baby all day," she wrote.
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Commenters encouraged her to continue doing the same things she did before becoming a mom and participating in all of the same hobbies and activities, but this time, she should try taking her daughter with her.
Unfortunately, most of the things she did before becoming a mother, including reading, gardening, hiking, traveling, and camping, are all things that really can't be done with kids in tow, or at least she wouldn't be able to enjoy those moments with her husband.
Having children is such a personal decision, and women shouldn't feel pressured into motherhood.
Motherhood shouldn't be the expectation for women, especially married women. Having a child isn't the only role that women should be good at, and finding your own identity outside of it is just as important.
It's also not uncommon for mothers to feel this sense of burnout. According to a recent survey of 2,028 American mothers, 1 in 3 moms report feeling stressed at least five days a week, and 67% feel like a burden when they reach out to their family to share their feelings.
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She admitted that she also misses her 'pre-baby body.'
"I have put on 10kg (22lbs) and am about 3 dress sizes bigger. I don't fit any of my old clothes that I love. I am trying to lose weight, but I can barely fit in a 20-minute workout each day. I miss being able to sleep when I want to and weekend sleep-ins," she continued.
She explained that it isn't postpartum depression but rather a yearning for the person that she was before becoming a mother, and questioned if it does get easier when her daughter becomes older and develops a sense of independence that doesn't require her to be there 24/7. In the comments section of her post, people were incredibly supportive and validated how she was feeling.
"Being a parent is just a new stage in life, and you’re right; nothing is ever the same. Working on our mindset can have a positive impact on how we view, perceive, and experience things. Accepting that things will never be the same is difficult, and maybe only time will help to enjoy this new stage in life as parents," one person wrote.
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"Not everyone enjoys it all, all the time or right away. It’s a journey, and I hope you can find ways to embrace bits of it. Ask for help and accept it from those around you so that you can enjoy some of the things that you did before becoming a parent or just to help your mental health."
While it may seem daunting, it could also create a sense of relief if she were to sit down with her husband and open up about how she's been feeling. Same thing with her other family members and friends because you don't know until you talk about it, but other mothers around her could also have similar sentiments.
It's important that no matter what, she's taking care of her mental health and finding that spark that seems to have been lost once she became a mother.
It's important to remember that parenthood will change, and eventually, she'll find more balance and independence.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.