Sister Of The Groom Wonders If She Was Wrong To Tell The Bride That Her Family Won't Like Her 'Revealing' Wedding Dress
She claimed she was just doing her future sister-in-law a favor, but it hurt her feelings instead.
Margo Basarab / Shutterstock Most brides dream of what they will wear on their wedding day. They have an image in their mind of the perfect look that reflects who they are.
Unfortunately, some people feel like they need to assert their influence over brides and tell them what to wear.
A groom’s sister said she was just trying to help out her future sister-in-law with her wedding dress, but did she go too far?
A woman took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for the “warning” she gave her brother’s fiancée.
“My brother is getting married soon, and his fiancée chose a very revealing wedding dress,” she explained. “It’s low-cut, with a thigh-high slit and a sheer back.”
The groom’s sister was quick to clarify that she personally had no problem with what the bride was wearing. She was simply worried about the rest of her family.
“I’m all for people wearing what they want,” she said, “but our family is quite conservative and opinionated, and I know this dress will cause a lot of drama, especially with our grandparents (talking people walking out on the wedding kind of drama).”
This woman wanted to help her brother’s fiancée out, so she tried to give her some advice in private.
“At a family dinner, I pulled her aside and gently suggested she might want to reconsider her choice, explaining the likely reactions from our older relatives,” she stated.
“I made sure to clarify that I absolutely respect [that] it’s her choice and her special day, but wanted to at least warn her of what could happen,” she explained.
Lina Kivaka / Pexels
The bride did not take this conversation well.
“She got very upset and said it’s her wedding, and she’ll wear whatever she wants,” the groom’s sister said. “My brother is now mad at me, accusing me of trying to control their wedding.”
The woman’s family is divided on her handling of the situation.
“Some of my family members think I was just looking out for her, while others say I overstepped,” she concluded.
Women have always been judged based on their appearance.
Being judged based on your appearance is common for all people, but especially for women. It is easy to look at someone and make an assumption about who they are based on what they’re wearing, how their hair is done, or some other metric. But this can be dangerous.
According to HuffPost, “Delineating what others should or should not do is a very loaded action. It implies that what they are currently doing is wrong, bad, inherently destructive, or negative. It implies that they aren’t smart enough to figure that out on their own. And therefore, it implies that the person leveling judgment is superior since she was able to draw the conclusion herself.”
It’s never right to assume we know someone or know what’s best for someone based solely on what we can see.
HuffPost went on to say, “Declaring what another woman shouldn’t wear is akin to assuming you know what’s best for her when, in fact, you have no idea how her choices were made, what factors motivated them, what is going on in her life, what her resources and constraints may be.”
In this sense, it would indeed be wrong for the groom’s family members to judge his bride based on what she chose to wear. After all, it is her wedding and, therefore, her choice in dress.
Pixabay / Pexels
However, it was also not right for the groom’s sister to get involved. All she did was make the situation even worse.
In all likelihood, the bride understood the choice she was making and the risk she was taking and did not need it spelled out for her.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.