Musician's Middle School Bully Asked Her To Perform At Her Wedding For Free To Build Her Portfolio— ‘It's Bold Of You To Assume I'd Gift You A $2,500 Service'
Know your worth and charge it.
NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock One of the more insidious white lies of adulthood is that bullying ends once high school is over.
In reality, bullying has no real age limit: It happens between colleagues in the workplace and to parents on the playground.
Bullying can even show up on someone’s Special Day, as one professional wedding performer explained.
A musician’s middle school bully asked her to perform at her wedding for free to build her portfolio.
Tiffany Moore is an accomplished violinist who’s built her “dream career,” teaching music and playing weddings.
She shared the story of how her former middle-school bully came back into her life, demanding that she play music for free at her wedding.
Moore documented the wild ride on Instagram for the world to see.
“Hey, girl! It’s been forever!” The bride-to-be began her message. “I’m getting MARRIED and totally want you to play violin for my ceremony in October.”
“It would be the perfect gift, plus you could use photos and videos to build your performance portfolio! Win-win!”
Moore’s answer was sharp and direct, like an arrow straight to the heart.
Shvets Production / Pexels
“It’s rather bold of you to assume I’d gift you a $2,500 service,” she wrote. “You bullied me relentlessly in middle school for being in orchestra.”
Moore explained that she had no need to build her portfolio, saying, "You may not realize I’ve been recognized by The Knot and Wedding Wire 6 years in a row. My portfolio dates back to age 12. I’ve been in the wedding industry for 19 years.”
Still, the bride seemed determined to get her way. She dragged Moore for the cost of her services, then pressured her to cut a deal.
“You actually charge that much?! You’re very overpriced,” she exclaimed, acting like one of those slimy pick-up artists who neg women in an attempt to get them in bed.
The bully bride asked for a discount while insulting the violinist’s musical skills.
“I really want violin music for my big day, and it’s not difficult music that I want either,” she said, revealing the depth of her entitlement while devaluing Moore’s profession.
“Help a girl out?” she continued. “I want to be friends with you and leave the past behind us.”
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There’s so much to unpack in that one line, but let’s start here: The bride skipped over the part where she should have offered an apology, landing right on the “moving on” part without showing any real remorse.
As psychologist Dr. Kim Sage explained, bullying can have a profound emotional impact on our lives, even after we leave middle school behind.
“One of the most difficult traumas to experience in terms of conflict trauma can be bullying,” she said. “Bullying often occurs in places and spaces where we should have been safe.”
“The vast nature of bullying, from physical bullying to mental and emotional bullying, is so deeply wounding because it chips away at the core of us.”
Dr. Sage noted that bullying is always based on an inherent power differential or power dynamic imbalance, with “an intent to actually make someone feel small or physically harm them or shame them, and the repetitive nature of it can leave us stuck in trauma symptoms for years.”
The psychologist revealed the reason why bullying impacts our sense of self so deeply, saying, “When it happens when you’re younger, it’s such a part of shaping who you are that that bullying can become a part of your identity, that bullying wound around not being enough.”
“As we know, many people who bully really rely on the fact that we’re not going to push back and speak up,” she said.
The bride never moved beyond her adolescent bully era: She kept pushing boundaries to get her own way, but this time, Moore was ready.
Moore proved how much she’d changed since middle school, refusing to let her former bully intimidate her.
“I already have friends, thanks,” she clapped back. “I don’t have time to entertain your ignorance.”
“What I offer is labeled as a luxury service. Clients prefer to invest in their wedding day entertainment with a seasoned professional who provides exemplary skills, high-quality instruments and equipment, and someone who is well-versed in how weddings need to run efficiently,” Moore said. “That, my dear, is why people choose me. Trust is valuable in this industry.”
Instead of cutting her losses and moving on, the bride doubled down, asking Moore if she was available on October 3rd for $1000.
“That’s all I can afford, and for less than an hour of playing, that’s not too shabby!” she exclaimed, but the next line was the true piece de resistance, as the French say.
“You’ll get major exposure because my guest list is 300 people!” The bride declared.
Irina Iriser / Pexels
Moore declined her former bully’s faux-generous offer, explaining that she not only knows her worth, she also doesn't play solely for exposure, ever.
The bride seemed incapable of losing gracefully, calling Moore a “mean girl” who should “Go cry about not being able to pay your bills because you’re too greedy.”
“Besides, you’re not even worth it, and you suck!” the bride concluded, lashing out with vintage middle-school vibes, proving that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
The bride came back for one more confrontational round after discovering that Moore had posted their conversation on social media.
Moore didn’t back down, noting, “You’re just embarrassed for being called out on your ridiculousness and blatant audacity, thinking I’d actually agree to perform for you.”
“You’re pathetic,” the bride snapped before threatening to come after Moore in court for “sharing a private conversation and [blasting] me for no reason!”
“Be prepared to hear from my legal representation,” she said. “You are FINISHED!!”
“You’re the bully!” she declared.
Once again, Moore held her ground, saying, “No, I’m not a bully, but I finally grew a backbone and put you in your place.”
It's common for wedding vendors to be taken advantage of by people who believe that they’re somehow above paying a fair price for receiving services.
According to wedding photographer Kelsey Alex’s math, the average cost of a wedding in 2024 is over $65,000, with music expenses making up $13,500 of the cost.
Alex noted that “The cost and prices of things are constantly changing” and depend on location, guest count, venue, and individual vendors.
Bullying, like entitlement, comes in many forms. Sometimes, it’s subtle, and sometimes, it’s overt, yet the throughline remains the same. One person positions themselves over another, making demands that center their needs only.
Moore’s story proves once and for all that the best revenge is a life well-lived.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture and all things to do with the entertainment industry.