Woman Asks If Breaking Up With Her Boyfriend Was Wrong After He Said It’s ‘Disgusting & Inappropriate’ How Close She Is With Her Mom
He said her mother belongs "on some kind of registry" after overhearing their conversation.
Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock Some of us are lucky enough to have our parents as our best friends when we get older, as they grow out of their disciplinary roles and become more like figures of support for us.
One woman considers herself extremely lucky to have such a tight relationship with her mother. However, her boyfriend thought their relationship was “disgusting and inappropriate.”
The woman’s boyfriend found her relationship with her mother to be ‘inappropriate and disgusting’ given the personal topics they discuss with one another.
Sharing her story on the subreddit, r/TwoHotTakes, the 25-year-old woman revealed in a since-deleted post that she and her 26-year-old boyfriend had been dating for two years and overall, they had a healthy relationship.
The woman is currently in graduate school pursuing her PhD while her boyfriend is going for his bachelor's while serving in the military. Given their busy schedules, they are unable to see each other often.
Recently, the woman opted to stay at her parent’s place for a couple of weeks while she recovered from her IUD removal and surgery.
“Four days into my two-week leave, my boyfriend asked to stay a few days as he had the week off and wanted to spend time with me and my parents,” the woman wrote.
The woman and her parents graciously welcomed him, and everything was going smoothly until he overheard a graphic conversation between his girlfriend and her mother.
“My mom and I are very close, as in, no topics are off-limits close. To keep it brief, we talk about literally everything, including very personal things like medical issues and explicit topics,” the woman explained.
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While discussing her IUD removal and recent surgery, the woman told her mother how she was feeling, revealing rather personal details about her recovery.
“I told her how my ‘outer region’ is super sore and hurts worse when I stand and that it feels like someone is pummeling my cervix,” she wrote.
“I laughed, and she continued by telling me how when she gave birth to my brother, who was quite the large baby, she needed stitches, and she said how my dad was ‘forbidden from entering her child portal’ until she was ready.”
While this conversation was taking place, the woman’s boyfriend was in the next room “within earshot.” When the woman entered the room to see him, he asked her if they could talk outside.
“He told me how it was disgusting that I talked about my private area with my mom, and it was even more disgusting that she told me about her and my dads ‘situation’ after the birth of my brother,” the woman wrote.
“He told me that he can't look at me the same now, knowing that my mom knows all of my business and that she should be, verbatim, ‘on a registry or list or something because that's [expletive] disgusting and inappropriate.’”
Stunned, the woman told her boyfriend that if he had a problem with the way she and her mother talked, then he shouldn’t have to worry about hearing it again and that she was breaking up with him.
“Ever since then, he has been blowing up my phone apologizing and asking if we can talk if he can have another chance, and that he wishes he had never said what he did,” the woman wrote.
While she acknowledges the fact that not everyone has a good relationship with their mother and that the relationship she has with her own mother may seem bizarre to some people, she does not believe that their relationship should be labeled as “disgusting.”
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However, many of her friends called her “cold” and “insensitive” for dumping her boyfriend so suddenly on the spot instead of discussing how he felt first.
“I would have been fine with his stance if he had just approached it politely or probably literally any other way than he did, considering he said my mother should be on a ‘registry’ or a ‘list,’” she shared.
“I mentioned that to our friends and they all say that he was just caught off guard and that anyone would have reacted emotionally in his situation.”
Now, the woman wonders if she was too harsh on him.
Most people argued that there was nothing ‘inappropriate’ about the mother and daughter’s relationship, and it was nothing that her boyfriend should have made her feel ashamed of.
They believed that daughters should feel comfortable enough talking about health with their mothers and that there was nothing inappropriate about it.
“There's absolutely nothing wrong with your relationship with your mother. Seriously, think about it, if you can't talk to your MOM about those topics, who the f–k else do you talk to about it?” one Redditor noted.
“I have a 4-year-old daughter, and I hope we have a close relationship like you do with your mother. It could be his family isn't close, so he thinks it's weird, but I don't think you're in the wrong for cutting it off,” another user commented.
“He has absolutely no authority over what an appropriate conversation between a mother and daughter looks like, so I'm not sure why he felt so confident in telling you that your mother should be ‘on a list,’” another user wrote. “You can break up with anyone at any time for any reason.”
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While not everyone may have an open and honest relationship with their mother, it does not give them the right to judge others' relationships with their own mothers and how they speak to one another.
In fact, children and adults who have a close and trusting relationship with their mothers have a lower risk of anxiety and depression and generally feel that they are in a good place mentally.
According to a Gallop poll, around nine out of ten American adults (88%) claim that their connection with their mother has a positive influence on their life.
Mothers should always be a support system to their children and someone who they can feel comfortable talking to about their health concerns, no matter how “disgusting” it may appear to others.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.