Boyfriend Cries After Girlfriend Refuses To Say Grace Before Dinner With His Parents
She felt her boyfriend tried to coerce her into conforming to his religious practices in front of his family.
cottonbro studio / Pexels A woman's boyfriend accused her of "embarrassing" herself after she refused to participate in a religious custom that she didn't follow.
Posting to Reddit, a 27-year-old woman questioned if she ended up making things awkward between her and her boyfriend's family after not participating in a popular religious custom.
Her boyfriend became emotional after she refused to say grace before dinner with his parents.
In her Reddit post, she explained that she and her 28-year-old boyfriend are both Christians. While he grew up as a Southern Protestant, she followed the Eastern Orthodox denomination, and over the years of the two of them being together, they've both met in the middle when it comes to the differences in how they each practice their faith.
A religious custom that she has never practiced was praying out loud, while her boyfriend and his family do. She claimed that before each meal, her boyfriend and his family will pray before eating.
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"I think it’s lovely. I always bow my head, engage internally, and say 'Amen.' But in terms of saying a prayer, it simply makes me really uncomfortable for two main reasons," she admitted. One of the reasons was that she's scared of public speaking and has grown up with social anxiety that makes it difficult for her to speak in front of large groups.
Secondly, based on her upbringing, she finds praying to be a deeply personal and private thing that she doesn't feel comfortable doing around others. She likened it to writing a diary entry — something you wouldn't do around others.
While at a restaurant with her boyfriend and his family, she was caught off-guard when her boyfriend asked her to lead the grace before they all ate.
She pointed out that her boyfriend knew exactly how she felt about saying grace. She immediately began panicking before trying to laugh it off and pass the request back to him.
Instead of saying grace himself, he doubled down and remained silent until his mother awkwardly butted in and asked if he wasn't going to say anything until his girlfriend started praying. He said "yes" and that's when his girlfriend questioned why he was forcing her to pray when she didn't want to.
"He looks me dead in the eye, super serious, and says, 'Because it’s the right thing to do.' Now, I’m definitely not in the mood to be sensitive and say a prayer, again, it’s deeply contemplative for me and I don’t want to just make up something generic," she continued. Again, she reiterated to her boyfriend that she was deeply uncomfortable and his mother eventually stepped in and said grace.
He claimed that he needed her 'support' at the dinner table with his parents.
The rest of the dinner went by in an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable fashion. Afterward, she and her boyfriend managed to have a moment alone where he tried to explain the reason behind his insistence that she say grace.
She recalled that he almost started crying while telling her that he was too emotional to pray because the reason that they were all together was because of his grandfather's declining health. He admitted that he needed the "support" from his girlfriend at that moment.
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She told him that there was no way for her to know that, and saying a quick prayer wouldn't have changed the circumstances or helped in any way. Her boyfriend claimed that it was all just embarrassing and now she's questioning whether or not she created a tough moment for her boyfriend and his family.
Her boyfriend didn't respect her boundaries and made the situation uncomfortable for everyone.
This woman made a point to express to her boyfriend throughout their relationship how she feels about praying in public and her aversion to public speaking. She admitted that it made her deeply uncomfortable and instead of listening and respecting her boundaries, he attempted to push her, which wasn't right in the slightest.
Just because two people were raised in the same belief system doesn't mean that their practices will look the same. Each person has the right to autonomy, which extends to religion. People should have the freedom to engage in or decline to participate in rituals according to their convictions and comfort levels.
In the comments section, people agreed that she shouldn't feel bad sticking to her beliefs and that it was "manipulative" for her boyfriend to try and force her to conform to his because he was dealing with a personal matter in his family.
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"He disregarded your feelings to make himself feel better. He could have asked anyone at the table if he didn't want to do it but he zoned in on you," one Reddit user pointed out, while another added, "He already knew how you felt about this, and in front of his family told you to do something that you have never been comfortable with. I think he embarrassed you!"
In the end, religious practices are sacred and personal. Coercing someone to follow your own religious beliefs, especially in public, is a disrespectful act, and in a relationship, those types of things should always be respected and supported.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.