Bride Wants To Call Off Wedding After Her Future Stepdaughter Destroys Her Dress
She has tried anything and everything to form a good relationship with her future stepdaughter.
Viacheslav Boiko / Shutterstock A bride-to-be’s hopes and dreams for her wedding day were shattered after her future stepdaughter made her own alterations to her wedding dress.
The woman is considering canceling her wedding after her resentful future stepdaughter destroyed her wedding dress.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/relationships, the 32-year-old bride-to-be revealed that she and her fiancé, Alan, have been together for three years.
“He told me on our first date he was a package deal; his daughter, Rose, is his whole world,” the woman wrote. “I was perfectly okay with it and we started hanging out together.”
Alan earned 50/50 custody of Rose after his divorce from her mother, Carrie. Although the woman has been making an effort to form a relationship with her future stepdaughter, Rose, who is now 12 years old, does not have the best impression of her.
“Rose and I have had a bit of a strained relationship. I understand it, having grown up in a divorced home where both parents remarried,” the woman wrote. “She's a preteen and has some conflicted thoughts about her dad marrying a new woman instead of going back to her mother.”
Rose will occasionally hurl comments at the woman, like, “You’re not my mother,” when she asks her to do something, even though her father has attempted to set boundaries and ground rules. “We have tried therapy, groundings, and everything else, but nothing works,” she explained.
The woman said that although Rose can be difficult to deal with, she is overall a good kid who does well in school and is involved in sports. "She's really popular, bubbly and friendly when she isn't being mean to me," she added.
The woman's breaking point came when Rose was at her apartment, and destroyed her wedding dress.
"My apartment is close to one of Rose's friends so we have an arrangement that on some days Alan has custody, Rose will hang out at her friend's house and then come over for dinner with Alan and me," the woman explained.
On one of these evenings, Alan was late from work, so the woman was left alone with Rose in her apartment.
"Rose arrived, and everything was normal. I stepped into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner, leaving Rose alone," she wrote. "If I had any inkling of what was about to happen, I would've done something different."
Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary until the woman went to tell Rose that dinner was ready and noticed that the closet sliding door in her bedroom was not how she left it.
When she went inside to investigate, she discovered her wedding dress and veil torn to shreds and covered in glitter paint.
The woman was devastated since her wedding dress held such importance to her. “My late grandma (who I was really close to) made her own wedding dress after seeing photos of Grace Kelly and many women in our family have worn it to their weddings or have had their own dresses designed after it,” she shared. “As I'm taller than my grandma, I had mine made. It's really special to me.”
Alan arrived at the woman’s apartment to find her in tears. He saw the remains of her wedding dress and knew immediately who the culprit was.
“Rose admitted it with a shrug of her shoulders and said, ‘What's the point? She's just a fat old cow anyway,’” the woman wrote. “Alan confiscated her cell phone and immediately called Carrie to discuss a punishment.”
Despite Alan punishing his daughter, the woman admitted that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “I have gone through so much with Rose. I've tried to be caring and compassionate ... and this is my reward?” she lamented.
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Now that her sadness has faded, it has been replaced with “boiling anger,” and the woman is considering calling off the wedding.
“I'm tempted to just call off the wedding and leave Alan to deal with his brat of a daughter. This wasn't an accident. This was on purpose,” she wrote. “But then I remember that Rose is part of Alan's life. I love Alan. But I don't know if I can keep taking it.”
Most commenters advised the woman not to marry Alan despite her love for him since his daughter would always be part of the deal.
“Your relationship with her is a part of the marriage. I wouldn't get married if that isn't right. It'd be just as ridiculous as marrying him when your relationship with him isn't right,” one Redditor wrote.
“As someone who has watched my sister deal with stepchildren like this for over 20 years — it never gets better,” another user warned. “They will continue to try and hurt you and break up your relationship forever. You can either accept this and live with the abuse, or give them what they want and leave their father.”
“Is this the future you want?" a third commenter questioned. "Think about it thoroughly. It's gonna be a tough road ahead, and I think you should prioritize yourself and your mental health."
Even if Alan and Rose are a package deal, this does not mean that the woman is obligated to accept either of them and put up with emotional abuse. Despite her love for Alan, she does not deserve to be treated with such cruelty for simply being with him and making him happy.
She may not be Rose’s biological mom, but she certainly appeared to be trying her best to form a loving and protective relationship with her as her stepmother.
The reality is that some stepchildren may never accept their new step-parents no matter how they treat them, whether it be jealousy, anger, or sadness that their biological parents aren’t together. Over time, this can put a strain on the marriage, lead to more arguments and resentfulness, and inflict damage that cannot be repaired.
If Rose is going to continue treating the woman with such utter contempt, it is likely best she calls off the wedding before she is officially a stepmother and Rose’s treatment of her grows to be far worse. However, if she is insistent on staying with Alan, it is certainly worth having a conversation so that they can develop a game plan moving forward on how to handle Rose’s outbursts.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.