Bride Calls Off Her Wedding After Hearing Secret Bet Her Family Made About Her Marriage
The family said it was a "harmless little joke."
stockfilms88/Shutterstock A soon-to-be bride has taken to Reddit to ask for advice if she was wrong to cancel her wedding after learning from her cousin what her family was doing behind her back.
She canceled her wedding after learning her family was betting on how long her marriage would last.
"My wedding is supposed to be at the end of this month," the woman began her post, "But I’m planning to cancel everything and have a courthouse wedding."
She explained that her cousin had informed her that while she was gearing up for the happiest day of her life, her family was making a mockery of her.
"My family were making bets on how long it would take my fiancé to realise he wasn’t getting the 'good little wife' he was expecting and regret marrying me," she explained.
The bride confronted her family, wanting an answer.
They said that it was "just a harmless joke" and that she didn't have the personality to be a submissive housewife that apparently her fiancé wanted the whole time.
"My sister-in-law made a joke about making sure my fiancé didn't realize until after the wedding while I was confronting them," she said. "My family told me I couldn't do that because people would talk and my future in-laws wouldn't be happy about it, but I told them I didn't care, and they could tell everybody why I never had a wedding ceremony," she wrote.
Now, her parents are begging her not to cancel the big day. Accusing her of embarrassing the family, her parents are attempting to convince her to move forward with her original plans but she is not changing her mind.
People agreed the bride-to-be was right to be upset, but shouldn't have canceled the wedding.
One individual suggested she just uninvite her family and still have the wedding, but the bride commented saying that her family would still show up regardless. Another user agreed, suggesting she "Cancel invites for whoever is in on this joke, hire security and make sure they are escorted out if they show up."
One user asked if she didn't want a ceremony to begin with and said it sounded more like a waste of time when the bride could uninvite her family, but the bride responded by saying her family cares more about a ceremony than she does.
"He said it's my choice and that the wedding was always more for me and our families than for him," she wrote.
Others supported the bride but questioned whether the family may have a point.
"Does your husband expect a submissive wife? Is that something you want for yourself?" one person asked, with others agreeing, noting the importance of aligned values in marriage. "I have had times when my family used 'humour' to try to warn me," they added.
According to licensed psychotherapist and life coach Sherry Gaba, LCSW, it's not wise to compromise on values as it could lead to resentment in the long run. One of these values is the family structure, which includes duties each partner takes on in their marriage. While each partner is not expected to take on traditionally gendered roles, if one expects it and the other doesn't, things could get messy.
We can only hope that, since this couple got so far as to wed, they're both happy with the structure they've built for their relationship. And as one person put it in the comments, "In this case, the best revenge is a life well-lived."
Kurtis Condra covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics for YourTango. He is also a poet based in San Francisco, California. You can keep up with his poetic journey on Instagram.