4 Rare Qualities That Make A Spouse One-In-A-Million, According To Psychology
If the person you're with is like this, marry them.
Wavebreakmedia | Canva There is a quiet side, an unspoken connection between people that arises from the different kinds of intimacy that, when channeled properly, has the potential to lift us to emotional heights otherwise unattainable. Research has revealed a level of intimacy so profound and deep that it transcends the natural human condition of cold isolation.
It's a place of warmth, peace, compassion, and kindness. It's the co-mingling of the best parts of us with the best parts of the people we cherish. If you're really good at forging intimacy, you'll know the joy of an emotional bond with no limits.
So, how do you know if you're any good at it? And that your spouse is too? We sought the insight of a panel of YourTango Experts. Here's what they told us about the rare qualities in a good spouse.
Here are 4 rare qualities that make a spouse one-in-a-million, according to psychology:
1. They have natural charisma
When their partner tells them that they make them feel adored, happy, and peaceful, these feelings are the result of consistent oxytocin that is generated through the deep intimacy that they are creating.
When they look deeply and lovingly into their partner’s eyes, they mean it and they feel it. Their partner fell in love with them for their amazing magnetic personality, appreciation, and blissful affection.
—Susan Allan, founder, the Marriage Forum Inc.
2. They are willing to lose an argument
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The major sign that they will be a great spouse is their ability to drop a subject, bury that insight they just had that could hurt their loved one, and their ability to compromise rather than win the argument.
They are aware of how different they are at many basic levels, even true lovers are, and they would rather be at peace with a loved one than force their point. The final sign that they will be a great spouse is often the relief on their face as they realize their partner is not out to always win, but rather to show love, trust, and a willingness to give in when it makes sense.
All of the above capacities translate into plenty of romantic situations. Why? Because they will be seen as someone who can be deeply loved and trusted. In the right settings, love is sure to follow.
—Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, positive psychologist, filmmaker
3. They feel at peace in every way with their partner
This is one of the most vital components and pillars of any relationship. Here are a few signs that one is great at this:
- They appreciate intimacy. This type of intimacy is the least talked about and underrated component of intimacy. A couple who enjoys intimacy with each other creates a mutual bond that takes their relationship to the next level. Intimacy includes cuddling, kissing, and even a gentle massage.
- They demonstrate trust and acceptance of your partner. Trust is often a byproduct of the overall emotional bond that you share with the person. Understanding each other's silences and nonverbal expressions is a true sign of knowing each other. One can be original and raw without any fear of being judged.
—Sidhharrth S Kumaar, astro numerologist and relationship coach
4. They see the potential greatness within their relationship
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There are many levels of intimacy in a relationship, from the lowest level, which looks like a brief handshake void of any eye contact, to the highest level, which is a display of complete authenticity, vulnerability, radical honesty, attunement, and courage.
Being a good spouse does not necessarily mean they have achieved the highest level possible, but it does mean that they recognize in themself and in others what is possible between them.
If someone is capable of “courageous intimacy,” which is that ability to be fully seen and revealed, and an excitement to learn and grow from the encounter coupled with the ability to hold that treasured space with someone who can and desires to meet them where they show all the signs that they are great.
—Larry Michel, love shepherd and founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics
Carter Gaddis is a writer and editor who spent 24 years as an award-winning sportswriter for newspapers in Florida and for various online publications, including ESPN, Parenting Magazine, and the St. Petersburg Times.
