9 Signs Of A Highly Captivating Woman, According To Psychology
These simple ways will help you grab anyone's attention and attract their interest in you.
Andrey Zvyagintsev | Unsplash As a single woman looking for love, you want to gain a person's attention to get to know them. This is a universal desire, but you might need help with being noticed and getting the attention you want. Even with the best-looking face, fittest body, and most expensive clothes, you will fail at love if you don't care for the inside.
Highly captivating women who attract love into their lives know that much of their success in love is internal. If you struggle to get people's attention and draw their interest in you, it’s time you learn how to talk in a way people will listen to and want to know more.
Here are 9 signs of a highly captivating woman, according to psychology:
1. Be curious
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The way to someone's heart is through their ego. Ask about their hobbies or interests and be genuinely curious. This old trick works so well, that they'll realize you are an amazing conversationalist.
People usually love talking about their interests and when you ask about the things they like, it is extremely flattering and hard to resist. Don’t worry, if they're the right person for you, they'll be curious about you too, and will turn the tables to learn what you are all about.
2. Know your value
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First, think about who you are when you go out to meet new people. Do you worry you might not be pretty enough or aren’t young enough? Stop that! Instead, think about the people who will find you intriguing.
Maybe you’re shy and hang back from the crowd. Or you fear rejection so much you don’t want to take the risk of getting noticed. Social fears can get in the way of meeting new people.
Honesty is the first trait everyone wants in a partner, and that starts with honestly appreciating yourself. People are naturally drawn to confidence, so if you need a confidence boost, get ready to build your self-esteem.
One of my favorite self-help books is called Confidence: Finding It and Living It by Barbara DeAngelis, because it is filled with simple ego-boosting ideas that really make a difference. You can also start a practice of self-appreciation. Simply choose one aspect of yourself you are proud of and appreciate it every day for a week.
Then choose another trait for the next week. Learning how to build yourself up and acknowledge your value as a person and a partner is not egotistical, but demonstrates a healthy sense of self-worth.
3. Be delightful
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One surefire way to get people to notice you is to be delightful. This means you are easy to approach and easy to talk to. You are friendly, positive, and open. You smile, maintain eye contact, and laugh which are all part of flirting.
In other words, you are a total pleasure to converse with — so naturally they want more! Some women overlook the importance of shifting into a more easy-going way of interacting because they are still in work mode when they go out, or they have faced too many bad dating experiences.
Yet, the type of person you want to attract is not going to do all the work to get to know you if they don't have a sign you are interested. But if you want a person to pay attention to you and listen, I suggest making it easy for them.
4. Watch your tone
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Your tone of voice says a lot about your state of mind, especially when talking on the phone. People naturally sound happier when you smile, even if no one can see you. A sense of warmth in your tone of voice welcomes people to share your interest in them.
A woman's tone of voice can reveal much about her emotional state. Elements like pitch, inflection, and pace are key indicators of feelings like confidence, anxiety, happiness, or anger, often through subconscious cues that listeners readily perceive.
A recent study published in Frontiers in Psychology showed that a higher pitch may be associated with uncertainty or vulnerability. In comparison, a lower pitch can signal authority or dominance, though individual variations and cultural contexts need consideration.
Another hot tip is to whisper. It doesn’t matter what you say, whispering adds a layer of intimacy that is enticing. Even if you say something like, “You’re so sweet” after they say something nice, you’ll have their rapt attention.
5. Let yourself be helped — but not helpless
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When you ask a person for their assistance, you naturally evoke their human willingness to help others. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when there’s someone around who you have an interest in getting to know.
For example, I’m on the short side and often have trouble reaching items on the top shelves at the grocery store. When I can’t reach something, I look around for a tall guy and ask him to get it for me. I’ve never been refused. Most men give me a nice smile as they hand over the jar of olives.
This same technique worked great when standing at a crowded bar. Again, being short made it hard to get a busy bartender’s attention. So, I would spot a kind-looking man, go stand next to him, and ask him to help me get the bartender’s attention to order a drink.
Trust me, this worked like a charm and was a great way to strike up conversations. I met a lot of great guys by asking them for a little help.
6. Be a little sassy
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A little feistiness goes a long way with most people to pique their curiosity. When you are sassy, you demonstrate your intellect and sense of humor. That combination is highly inviting. Sassiness can include light verbal teasing.
Dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan agreed that "a little feistiness goes a long way with most people to pique their curiosity." Ryan argued that it demonstrated their intellect and sense of humor, a "highly inviting combination."
For example, if they ask you for your number too quickly, you can say something like, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Or “My digits are sought after” without giving out your number. This creates a challenge and can start a fun conversation.
7. Be brief
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If you decide to share a story, keep it brief and not overly detailed. One way to lose a person's interest is to tell a long story with tons of detail. If you want someone to listen, get to the point faster than you would with your besties.
8. Be flirty
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Once you’ve been chatting for a while with someone you just met, or on a first date, you might want to step up your flirtatiousness. Moving into their personal space will certainly capture your date's attention if they are at all into you.
Flirtatiousness is considered attractive because it signals potential interest, increases feelings of being valued, and can be interpreted as a sign of confidence and social competence, ultimately acting as a key mechanism in mate selection from an evolutionary perspective. This is further supported by a study published in an International Journal on Personal Relationships showing that people who flirt are often perceived as more desirable, even if their physical appearance is not considered conventionally attractive.
Here’s how you do this tastefully:
When you’re making a point during the conversation, reach over and lightly touch their forearm, hand, or shoulder (depending on where you are sitting). Hold for just 2-3 seconds and then gently lift your hand away.
Be careful not to linger or move into more sensual flirting like putting your hand on their knee, unless you want to go home with them. Keep it PG if you want to take things slowly.
9. Be hospitable
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If you were having a party, you would make sure every person who attended felt welcome and comfortable. You’d take their coat and offer them a drink. You’d introduce a friend who didn’t know anyone to another friend to get a conversation going and minimize awkwardness.
Being hospitable is attractive because it signals positive traits like warmth, kindness, social intelligence, and a genuine concern for others. A study published in the McNair Scholars Journal found that these are generally desirable qualities in potential partners.
Hospitality fosters a sense of connection and positive emotions in interactions. This is often explained through the halo effect, where a positive attribute like hospitality can positively influence a person's overall perception.
Now, apply the concept of being hospitable to dating. When you engage with people you are interested in and show them how you enjoy being around them, it is highly appealing. Your choice to be kind, warm, and hospitable will make you stand out from other people who are too focused on themselves.
With these nine simple ways to get someone to pay attention to you when you talk to them, you are certain to engage people more easily. If you try these suggestions, more interesting people will notice you, walk over to meet you, and want to spend more time with you.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.