8 Things Deeply Narcissistic People Are Likely To Do To You
Deeply narcissistic people are some of the most dangerous to be around.
yacobchuk | Canva If you've been in an abusive relationship, there's a good chance that the person who abused you was a narcissist. Deeply narcissistic people are perilous kinds of people. What makes them so insidious is that they know how to hurt their victims and how to keep their victims around.
Deeply narcissistic people tend to make the lives of those around them miserable. They bully, dominate, gaslight, and disrespect boundaries. What they might confuse with love, or what their partners might take as love, is a way for them to pursue their happiness and fulfill their desires.
Here are things deeply narcissistic people are likely to do to you:
1. Emotionally blackmail you
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This abuse tactic takes advantage of the fact that you have a conscience. They will guilt you whenever you stand up for yourself, make you feel horrible for refusing them, and tell you that if you liked them, you'd do what they say.
Narcissists love using this because it will make you think you're the bad guy, even when you did nothing wrong — and that makes it easier for them to blame you for their mistakes.
2. Isolate you from people you love
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Ever noticed how most people in abusive relationships tend to be closed off from friends? This is because narcissists hate positive people in their victims' lives because it makes them feel more empowered.
Empowered people have the strength it takes to stand up to narcissists, and narcissists don't like that. Their solution? Force you to cut your friends out of your life.
If you won't cut people out yourself, they may even go so far as to smear your name so others will cut you out for you. A strong support network is essential for our emotional well-being and personal growth. It consists of people who provide us with love, understanding, and encouragement. They are there for us during good and evil, making them the most threatening.
Research from the Journal of Research in Personality explains the tried and true methods, including gaslighting, triangulation, projection, smear campaigns, psycho-emotional abuse, and financial control and dependency.
3. Gaslight you
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Gaslighting is a tactic that is all about making you feel insane. This is when they keep insisting that things that happened, didn't happen.
They also may make you question whether you are as educated on a subject as you think you are as a way to further undermine your confidence in your sanity. The less you trust that you're sane, the more you rely on them, which is what they want.
4. Undermine your confidence
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Narcissists are all about undermining your self-esteem through backhanded compliments, criticism, and subtle jabs. The reason they do this is because it makes them feel good about themselves and it makes you easier to control. People with low self-esteem are less likely to leave their partners, after all.
This dynamic feeds their need for power and superiority. A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality showed that narcissists often have a fragile sense of self-worth, so they need to put others down to feel better about themselves. The constant criticism can make you doubt your judgment and ability to make choices.
5. Withdraw affection
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Narcissists are all about controlling people and boosting their self-esteem at any cost. If they know you love them, they will occasionally just withdraw affection just to make you squirm. Affection withdrawal also may be used as punishment for refusing to do what a narcissist tells you to do.
6. Lovebomb you
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What gets most people hooked on narcissists in the first place is love-bombing, a tactic that is all about luring someone into a relationship with them. Lovebombing is all about making a person feel special and happy, and then getting them dependent on their affection. Beware if someone is way too affectionate way too quickly — it's often a sign that they're lovebombing you.
These tactics are manipulative. They are meant to groom their partners, isolate them from friends and family, and establish themselves as the most critical person in their partner's life.
Ultimately, a study published in the Journal of Clinical Cases and Reports concluded the goal is to make their partner emotionally and socially dependent. Listen to what your gut is telling you. If you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, these are valid feelings that deserve investigation.
7. Triangulate you
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If there's one thing narcissists are famous for, it's pitting people against each other in order to maintain control on someone. They may invent love triangles that aren't there, or actively try to get people to compete for them.
They may also start using other people to "gang up" on you when you try to leave them. For example, they may try to get family members to convince you to stay if they think you're going to leave them.
8. Use threats or physical violence against you
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Narcissists do use threats and physical violence to get their way, but most of the time, it's a last resort. Their need for control is what makes them do it, not "because they love you."
If you think you may be experiencing depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and is not a reflection of who you are or anything you've done wrong.
If you feel as though you may be in danger, there is support available 24/7/365 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233. If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.