10 Incredible Reasons Why Introverts Make Better Wives
If your wife is introverted, she'll make your life better.
Volodymyr Melnyk | Canva Despite what Internet quizzes have been telling you, not all introverts are socially inept, painfully shy recluses. Yes, introverts are known to feel some social discomfort at times but that's only because too much "small talk" feels insincere, and large groups of people are physically draining on our systems. (I say "our" because like so many writers content to sit in solitude, alone with their thoughts, I too, am on the introvert spectrum.)
Although personality labels have been assigned to both camps, introverts and extroverts have one specific difference: The extrovert is energized by large groups of people, while the introvert feels drained, and in need of solitary recharging. An extrovert might feel suffocated by too much alone time, while an introvert needs it in order to function like a normal human being.
And yet even the most outgoing extrovert — someone who craves constant social interaction and thrives on other people's energy — can find some benefits to settling down with an introvert (who would really like some peace and quiet already). Based on the most recent research (as well as the decades I've spent living as an introvert), we just might make awesome spouses.
Here are 10 remarkable reasons why introverts make better wives:
1. We actually listen to you
In spite of common cultural assumptions, "introvert" isn't another word for social dysfunction. It's not that we're poor communicators, it's just that we communicate differently. We often need time to process, to articulate, to THINK (because we're always thinking!). While an extrovert might speak before she thinks, an introvert is more likely to observe, analyze, and take it all in. Sure we might get lost in our thoughts from time to time, but we're paying attention. We're listening to you. And when it comes to a life-long partner, a "good listener" is suddenly way more attractive.
2. We're all about the Netflix and sweatpants game
When your body gives in and you need to relax, you have a permanent couch partner. Netflix binge-watching and comfy pants are our love language. This bodes well for the long-haul relationship.
3. One-on-one relationships are in our comfort zone
Introverts crave fewer people, more connection, and more intimacy. We might not be the best chit-chatters at the office and the thought of large group presentations might cause heart palpitations, but just the two of you, one-on-one building a sincere bond? That's where she shines.
4. You won't be stuck in 50 awkward conversations just to get through the grocery store
She'll be the one ducking behind the paper towel display, pretending she doesn't see anyone. Think of the time you'll save!
5. We're thoughtful
Introverts are known to be introspective, self-aware, and sensitive — meaning we're more likely to really see our partners and pay attention to the little details. Because we think so deeply, we tend to be more thoughtful and intentional in our relationships.
6. You'll be afforded your freedom
Introverts almost always require some alone time in order to be sane, calm, functioning people. If your introverted spouse has been especially social and busy, she'll need some space to recharge — space away from anyone, including you. So yes, go out with your buddies and get a few beers; she needs the quiet anyway. Separate friends and social activities can be healthy in a long-term relationship.
7. We're less likely to make a huge, embarrassing public scene or get you in trouble by running her mouth
Unless she's had a psychotic break from constant noise and overstimulation, then all bets are off.
8. We're probably a decent homemaker
Maybe this isn't true across the board but it's usually hard for introverts to function in a highly cluttered, messy environment. I haven't met a single one. As long as you can respect her sensitivity to clutter and do your part, you'll have a nice and tidy home to call your own. It's better than signing up for a lifetime of slobbery.
9. We thrive on honesty
Because introverts are known to crave authenticity and sincerity, an introverted spouse is usually a straight shooter. No malarkey will be tolerated. And when it comes to marriage, honesty and trust are pretty high on the must-have list.
10. We'll show you another way
If you have extroverted tendencies, entangling your life with an introvert can show you the value of slowing down, thinking before you speak, and being thoughtful and sensitive to the stimuli around you. It also gives you an opportunity to draw her out of her shell, away from her comfort zone, while also respecting another person's unique needs and quirks.
Of course not everyone fits into perfectly constructed boxes and there's much more to us than the way we absorb and use energy. That being said, there are some perks to having an introverted partner who can remind you to shhh, please.
Michelle Horton is a freelance writer and social media specialist who founded the website Early Mama. She writes about advocacy, motherhood, and relationships.