Date #2 At His Place: Innocent Invite Or Sexual Scheme?

My client Kendra met Mike through an online dating site. The first date went great. Kendra found Mike attractive, a good conversationalist and friendly. She felt comfortable with him and thought he had serious potential.

Mike sent Kendra an email the next day saying he had a nice time. Then, three days later, he emailed Kendra offering to cook dinner for her. This proposition put Kendra in a quandary.

She thought it was sweet that he offered to cook for her, but she didn't feel comfortable going to his house for the second date. Something about this made her feel nervous, so she emailed me for online dating advice. 5 Rules For Choosing Your Online Dating Photos

"What should I tell Mike?" Kendra asked me. "I'm not ready to go to his house for dinner. What do you think?"

I think Kendra is smart. Her instincts told her not to go because it's too soon for an intimate dinner. That might be date six or eight depending on who you are. But date two is too soon. I responded to Kendra that I didn't think she should go. If she did go, she'd probably be "dessert."

What makes me think this? When I was on my own dating journey to find love, it happened to me ... twice! The first time, I was out of practice dating and truly had no idea what his agenda was. It didn't take long for me to find out, though!

The second time with a different man, I thought, "This can't happen twice." But it did! I could tell what was coming, so I tried a lot of distraction tactics. For example, he had a big coffee table book, so I picked it up and plopped it on my lap looking through it ever so slowly.

Finally, he turned to me and said, "OK, come on now!" Then dove at me on the couch and started kissing me. I left quickly, not knowing what else to do.

Here's my online dating advice: When a man offers to cook dinner for you, trust me, you are on his menu for dessert. Now, if you don't mind casual sex, then it's no big deal. But if you are a bit more conservative and looking for a long-term relationship, my advice is to wait. 18 'Green Flags' Of People Who Get The Most Online Dates

Some men just want to sleep with you. Others want a relationship but will still try to sleep with you ASAP. How can you tell the difference? You can't! Only time will tell.

The man who is interested will ask you out again despite a "no." But a man who just wants you in bed will likely never be heard from again. Since you can't know which kind of guy your dinner invitation is coming from, it's best to move the date outside the house where sex is not as tempting.

I told Kendra to say something like, "Mike, that's so sweet, but I'd feel more comfortable going out until I know you better." That's all you have to say. Save that dinner invitation at his house or yours until you are ready to have sex.

The same rule applies for getting a pizza and watching a video. Don't fall for that one either. Or, "Let's continue this conversation in the car." No way!

Public places offer the best opportunity for safety and avoiding early intimacy. Be smart, be safe and stay out of the house or car. My online dating advice is to get to know him first and observe his interest in you to see if he is relationship material. 

Ronnie Ann Ryan is a love and dating coach. Think he's moving too fast? Listen to her free audio book, 12 First Date Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances For Love.