18 'Green Flags' Of People Who Get The Most Online Dates
How to be the person everyone wants.
PeopleImages | Canva Think that online dating is only for people in their twenties and thirties? Think again. Increasingly, the over-40 set is getting in on the action. But diving into online dating past a certain age can be overwhelming.
How successful is online dating? Forbes took a poll, and nearly 70% of individuals who met someone on a dating app said it led to a romantic, exclusive relationship
Thankfully, our experts have put together 20 tips to make for a significantly smoother ride.
Here are 18 'green flags' of people who get the most online dates:
1. Choose the right dating app for what you’re looking for.
Many online dating apps or websites are free; some aren’t. If you’re looking for a lot of options in terms of the dating pool, go with a popular app, like Tinder (according to a survey, the majority of people use it).
You will discover sites catering to certain age groups, specific ethnicities, religious faiths, gender preferences, educational levels, and more, making it easy to find a comfortable fit. Get started. Choose one and sign up! —Sally Landau
2. Be proactive and plan for the type of person you want to meet.
You know yourself much better than you did 20 years ago, and you have a better idea of who you are and who you want in your life. Plus, you're less afraid to express both. Make a list of these qualities. It will come in handy when you write your profile. —Sally Landau
3. Keep your profile short and simple.
In describing that ideal partner, keep it short and simple. When your list of expectations is too long, it begins to look like demands ... very challenging for others to fulfill, and likely to repel some great candidates. Be aware of your dealbreakers, but don't list them in your profile. —Sally Landau
4. Know your competition.
Spend some quality time, maybe two hours, and look at your competition on that site. Notice what you like, and more so, what's repetitive and boring. Make sure your profile stands out from the rest. —Sally Landau
5. Be strategic when you build your dating profile.
Choose a screen name. It should be something that describes you, something others will find intriguing. Now write the profile. Keep it light, fun, and happy.
This is not your opportunity to drag out all your grievances with past relationships or talk about your tedious, venomous divorce. Be positive. Shine a light on your best qualities. —Sally Landau
6. Post honest photos of yourself.
Photos should be current and show your full frame, a happy face, and allow the laugh lines to dance around your eyes. Find your inner Gloria Swanson in her famous line from the film Sunset Boulevard, "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." —Sally Landau
Pexels / RDNE Stock project
7. Be the first to initiate conversation.
After you post your profile, go shopping for a date! Find people you like and write to them. Yes, this is for men and women. Reach out to people you find appealing. You can send them a safe e-mail on the dating site. Begin the conversation. —Sally Landau
8. Prioritize your safety.
You may still think it's very weird meeting people you find online. There are precautions to take in the early stages. When they first meet you, they only know your screen name. It's perfectly acceptable, once you find yourself interested, to only tell them your first name.
Keep your address, workplace, and phone number private in the beginning. Choose a place to meet that's convenient but not your favorite spot. Drive yourself, arrive early, and decline any offers to be walked to your car. —Sally Landau
9. Meet them in person as soon as possible.
Remember: you're not looking for a pen pal. So, exchange a few e-mails, then a brief phone chat, and get to that face-to-face date as soon as possible. If there isn't chemistry between you and your online match, it's better to learn that right away. —Sally Landau
10. Be open to new people and personalities.
We all know the old adage "You reap what you sow," and this is true for a dating situation as well. If you venture into online dating with a negative attitude, you are almost certain to have a negative experience.
My most successful clients are those who are open and positive about online dating, so give it a try! —Julianne Cantarella
11. Don't be afraid to date around.
If anything, online dating provides you with an opportunity you would not otherwise have in your day-to-day life. Think about it: when do you come across 5 to 7 single men or women in your daily travels? With online dating, just turn on your computer and there they are! —Julianne Cantarella
This one is very tough for my singles over 40. I am not saying to be involved with more than one person but use online dating to your advantage. Start out slowly; date more than one person at a time because it increases your chances of connecting with the right one. —Julianne Cantarella
12. Align your expectations with your values.
Clients often come to me with a laundry list of must-haves, but after processing, we usually determine what is most important in a loving, committed relationship.
As it turns out, it's not about finding a man who is six feet tall, it's about finding a kind man who will love you, cherish you, and make you a priority. —Julianne Cantarella
13. Be courageous.
Getting back out there can be scary, but it can also be fun. Allow yourself to be scared, but don't get stuck. The only person you are hurting by not taking a chance is you! —Julianne Cantarella
14. Present the best version of yourself.
Your profile is your main marketing tool. Make sure you post a picture and complete your profile. Your photo determines 90% of your online dating success, so make sure the picture is clear, you are the only one in the picture, and that it is recent. —Julianne Cantarella
15. Make your dating life a priority.
To be truly successful, you cannot dabble in online dating. You must take the time and make online dating a priority. Be aware that your success relies on the commitment you make to the process.
You should log on daily, and check your email and matches. Respond appropriately and within a reasonable time frame. Waiting too long between logging on and answering emails sends the message that you are not interested or not serious. —Julianne Cantarella
16. Have actual conversations with people you're interested in.
The best way to get a response from someone you are interested in connecting with is by sending a simple email. Winks can be easily ignored.
When writing your email be sure to indicate that you have read their profile by reflecting commonalities or identifying things you find interesting. It shows you are taking time and are making a serious effort. —Julianne Cantarella
17. Keep your head up and don't get discouraged.
The goal of online dating is to present you with opportunity. At some point, someone who you are not attracted to, or you view as not a match will contact you.
The same thing could happen when meeting someone organically in your everyday life. Don't take it personally; embrace it as part of the overall experience and keep moving forward. —Julianne Cantarella
18. Trust your gut.
Although online dating is a wonderful opportunity, there could be potential pitfalls. Awareness is key. If it doesn't feel right or sound right then it probably isn't right.
Make sure you keep your private information private and reveal as little are possible, especially in the early stages of the getting-to-know-you phase. —Julianne Cantarella
Sally Landau is a dating coach and owner of Dating is Fun.
Julianne Cantarella is a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Life Coach who has spent her entire career helping those in need. She is the creator of a comprehensive one-of-a-kind, transformational-date coaching program From First Date to Soulmate.